Garrison Keillor

Via Corrente here and here:

[St. Paul, Minnesota is] a city of yellow-dog Democrats, so there is a high value placed on public services. If you call 911 in St. Paul, the cops or the EMTs will arrive within four minutes. In the Republican suburbs, where No New Taxes is the beginning and the end of politics and emergency services depend on volunteers, the response time can be anywhere between ten or fifteen and thirty minutes.

This is the difference between Democrats and Republicans in 2004, when it comes right down to it: Republicans are all about Old Glory and school prayer and the sanctity of marriage and the Fatherhood of God but when it comes down to actually needing help from them, you shouldn't get your hopes up. They might send an ambulance or they might just send a Get Well card.

Because we Democrats feel that the people of St. Paul are entitled to the best when it comes to what's crucial. You can be a Christian, athiest, Buddhist, nudist, and the rescue squad will be there for you within four minutes.

Republicans have perfectly nice manners, normal hair, pleasant smiles, good deoderants, but when it comes down to cases, you do not want them to be monitoring your oxygen flow: they will set it to the minimum necessary to sustain basic brain function, and then they will recite a little prayer for you. They are a party that is all about perceptions, the Christian party that conceals enormous glittering malice and is led by brilliant bandits who are dividing and conquering the sweet land I grew up in. I don't accept this.

We Democrats are deciduous. We fade, lose heart, become torpid, languish, then the sap rises again, and we are passionate. This is a year for passion.
(Garrison Keillor's Homegrown Democrat. pp. 11-12)