Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Doo-Doo Happens.....

It's a slow news day. So far. Count your blessings. Just so you'll know there's really important, well, shit, taking place in the world, here's the scoop from Dave Barry of the Miami Herald. May require free sign-in.
I am often criticized for writing immature ''bathroom'' humor, and not enough about important topics. So today I'm going to write about a major international event that is going to take place Nov. 17-19 in Beijing, China: The World Toilet Summit.

But for all the flaws of our public toilets, they stand head (har!) and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face to face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking ''attendant'' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines.

So I applaud the World Toilet Organization for its efforts to improve the world's public toilets. I think this concept could be used in tourism advertising (``KOREA -- Come for the History; Stay for the Public Toilets''). You probably can't attend the summit, but you CAN take part in (I am STILL not making this up) World Toilet Day. This year, it's Nov. 19. Let's all take a few moments to observe this very special occasion. And then let's wash our hands.
Don't that beat all?

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