What Border? And Kinky's Plan

Illegal immigrants are a godsend to Business, large and small alike. They work for less than Americans will and thus hold down wages for the rest of us as well. They don't complain, in English anyway, because they're criminals and are afraid of jail or deportation. They are exploitable, expendable, and fully interchangeable, like spark plugs. They're damn handy to have around when you need a little rented manpower around the ranch, too. Bush knows all this, trust me, but he is nothing if not expert at talking out of both sides of his mouth. Or as we say out West here, talkin' out the side of his neck.

From the LATimes:

PRESIDENT BUSH HAS been talking for five years, somewhat halfheartedly, about the need to overhaul the nation's immigration laws. The clock is running out. The president needs to make the issue a priority now or the opportunity will have been lost and the former border governor will have failed to resolve the nation's unhealthy immigration policy. The current system combines a failure to control the borders with an insistence on treating needed immigrant workers as criminals.

Kinky Friedman has a sure-fire, dirt-cheap plan that would stop people crossing our southern border right now. I know there are three other borders, but the Mexican one is the one that gets all the air time. His plan only includes the Texas portion of the border, but we could expand on that easily. Here it is:

Kinky will split the border evenly amongst five Mexican generals. He'll put a million (or whatever) dollars in the bank for each one them annually, to be collected by them after one year.

For every illegal alien that gets past them, deduct five thousand dollars from their payoff. I guarantee an instant end to undocumented Latinos.

Simple, ain't it?

If you're in Texas, be sure to vote for Kinky for Governor next year.