State of the Union Speech - the Drinking Game

I couldn't resist. I just saw that somewhere...wow, déjà vu all over again. Will Durst:

What you Need to Play:

# Four taxpayers: One rich white guy wearing a Suit. Cuff links are nice. Two people wearing jeans, one in a blue work shirt, the other in a white shirt. One person wearing clothes rejected by the Salvation Army. (Belt and shoelaces removed.)

# One shot glass per person. Everybody brings their own from home and places it on table. Suit gets first pick for use during game. White shirt picks next, then Blue shirt. Suit takes last shot glass as well, and Rags has to beg a glass from other players when necessary, or drink out of own cupped hands.

# Twenty buck ante for everybody, except Suit who tosses in a quarter.

Various rules follow. Don't worry about no stinkin' rules - ten minutes in you won't remember or be able to follow them. Here's just a couple:

10. If George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns throwing chips of chili and guacamole at TV. First person to hit Bush's head exempt from drinking three shots of beer.

11. If George W tells a folksy Texas tale with a deeper meaning about not leaving before the job is done, Suit has to drink out of beer-filled hands of Rags, who gets to dry his hands on Suit's jacket.

EXTRAS:

# Anybody who can identify the person giving the Democratic Response doesn't have to watch it.

Jim Webb. Good, I wasn't going to watch the bullshit-o-rama anyway. The speech, I mean. I'll watch Webb's response and all the gasbaggery.

# If George W uses a heartfelt story about one of our brave troops, White gets to kick everybody once. Twice if the brave troop is a woman. Rags gets to kick Suit if Bush reveals the subject of the anecdote is in the audience. Twice if the brave troop is sitting next to an astronaut.

# Suit takes home the $60.25. (Ain't that the Repug way? - G.)

# Leftover beer, chili and guacamole go home with Rags, after he/she is finished washing the dishes.

Have fun. Happy landings.