Fuck it ...

I'm running for President (I already thought about my cabinet). Why not, everybody else is. Could a 45 year old pothead be much worse than what we have now or the current group of pretenders? What the fuck goes on with you people? Here's all you have to do and the American people will follow, at least the majority.

1. End the war in Iraq and bring the troops home. Explain to Lockheed, UT, Northrop, Raytheon, and the rest that the gravy train is pulling into the last stop. Explain to the generals and admirals 'Weapons r' Us' is closed.

2. Healthcare for everyone, don't care how it's done so long as Big Insurance and Big Pharma don't make a windfall. I've had it with seeing people with shitty or no insurance lose everything because they got sick. It's time healthcare ceases to be a worry for Americans.

3. Government spending; pay as you go, period.

4. Any initiative 'faith-based' in nature will be vetoed on arrival. Any 'faith-based' organizations coming to the government with their hands out can get lost. Go get some of your TV preachers to sponsor you or the Vatican for that matter. All you churches, synagogues, mosques, and other houses of worship who try to meddle in the running of the government will have their tax exempt status revoked forthwith and permanently. I wonder what the levy on the Catholics alone would do to fund universal health care? Just sayin'.

5. Real campaign finance reform. No lobbying. Businesses will not be able to lobby the government, neither will associations, unions, or any other 'entity'. Only non-profits will be able to lobby for government funds. You wanna lobby the U.S. government? Write to your elected representative. Other nations and their agents will not be allowed to lobby members of the U.S. government except through offical channels (your ambassadors to ours) Oh, you poor lobbyists will be out of jobs? Try earning an honest wage for once. By the way, the government will now fund campaigns. You get a set amount and you have to make due. Anything you don't use goes back into the fund until next election season.

6. Alternative energy. Time for Big Oil to pay their fair share. Say hello to taxes out the ass Exxon/Mobil and the rest. You want your tax breaks back? Give me a power source to replace petroleum and doesn't pollute. You'll get a tax break then. Oh, and by the way, the government will regulate your prices and profit margins from now on, you greedy motherfuckers. You don't like that? I'll nationalize the fucking oil companies, assholes.

7. Taxes. If you move your assets offshore to avoid taxation, you will be assessed a penalty equal to double your hidden assets. Don't like that? Gimmie your fucking passport. You're now a citizen of whatever country helps you hide your money. You ain't living here if you ain't paying your fair share.

8. National Service. A good portion of you don't give a fuck about this country because no one ever forced you to appreciate it. America ain't all about the bucks. You wanna be an MBA? You wanna be a basketball star? Well before you head off to that university, you owe the federal government a couple years. Military or civilian, your choice, but you're gonna have a stake in this country. Maybe you'd give a little more of a shit about who you're electing if you spent some sweat and blood on this nation's behalf.

Now, if a Dem came out and said this, tell me you wouldn't vote for them. What the fuck are you idiots waiting for?