They just seem gay ...

The great Jon Swift:

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Of course, seeming to be gay is not the same as actually being gay, despite what the Minneapolis police department believes. In fact, the more one looks at the evidence that Craig seems to be gay, the more one can see that it is really just evidence of being conservative. There are many attributes of conservatism that seem really gay and unfortunately the more we deny that we are gay, the gayer we seem. This incident should put a chill in every conservative who has a "wide stance" or belongs to a barbershop quartet.

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Unfortunately, many conservatives are awkward and shy around women, which just fuels rumors that they are gay. That is why, for example, blogger Ace of Spades often seems so gay even though he is one of the most heterosexual unmarried bloggers on the Internet. Like many conservatives, Ace of Spades tries to overcompensate for these unfair perceptions by making a lot of anti-gay jokes. But sometimes his efforts to use light-hearted anti-gay humor to deflect these false impressions make him seem obsessed with homosexuality. And no matter how many times Dan Riehl tells us that he turned his back on his gay brother who died of AIDS or that he can't stop thinking about how homosexual acts disgust him whenever he sees Barney Frank on television, there are still people who will say that maybe he protests too much. It is a Catch-22 situation that many conservatives sadly get caught in.

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See, it's all a big misunderstanding. Only the liberals are gay ... well ... aside from the 'Log Cabins'. Heh ... he said 'log'.