"Permanently capitalizing the P in Presumptive Nominee"

Will Durst on Willard and The Donald:

Another potential mine in the Road to Tampa is the struggle to keep Willard from hanging out with the wrong crowd. You know, other Republicans. Especially distressing to see him palling around with Donald Trump. Again, Like being photographed at a clown convention. No matter how hard you try, some of that white face is bound to wipe off on the shoulders of even the most ghostly of political shadows.

I gar-on-tee nothing but white is gonna rub off on Rmoney. And who could tell?

Donald Trump: a man who is to sober judgment what chocolate covered marshmallows are to quantum physics. Fueling more fickle furnaces that suspect he’ll say or do anything to get to 50.1%, Romney refuses to criticize The Donald, even when the reality show host spouts further Birther nonsense. “Obama was born in Kenya.” No, he wasn’t. He was born in Honolulu. In a manger. Everybody knows that.

When asked why he continues to press on with this discredited charge, Trump said: “People on the street tell me not to give up on the issue.” Donald, for crum’s sake, you live in New York City. People on the street also say “My tricycle sprouted wings and is made out of plutonium.”

Although when you think about it, the Oxymormon needs to pick a vice president who makes him look presidential, and The Donald might be the perfect choice. Next to him, Lou Ferrigno looks Presidential. Manny Ramirez. Some random guy in a banana suit twirling a sign.

Of course, featuring these two titans of industry, people would either flock to or flee from the Vulture Capitalist Ticket. You’ve heard of Dumb & Dumber? Welcome to Rich & Richer. Even George Will would have to admit, it’s a pairing that would go a long way into nailing down the bloviating ignoramus vote. Start cranking out the bumper stickers: “Romney/ Trump 2012. We’re Good at Firing People!”