The Scotsman

In my previous post about the Celtic Festival, or the next post if you read 'em from the top down, I made mention of "the liftin' o' the kilt". That rang some bells in my head (loud ones to be heard over all the little voices) and I remembered this song, with a comment from the site:

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

Background: I first heard this song sung by Bryan Bowers...an autoharpist. It's a popular tune for morning radio programs, and it's popularity has spread incredibly over the past thirty years from Dr. Demento to Renaissance festivals. Heck, I used to stand up in the middle of the cafeteria in college and sing it at the top of my lungs. Yes, every Scotsman has heard the song...and is probably sick of it! But I still love the song, and performing it is even more fun. Oh! Don't forget to get a free Real Men Wear Kilts sticker!

You can listen to the song at the site.

Bryan Bowers is probably the world's best autoharp player. He plays six parts of a song with five fingers. Check him out.

Celtic Festival

This weekend is the 10th Annual Celtic Festival in Grass Valley, California. You can listen live at KVMR.

I was reminded of this when our friends Bev and Bentley stopped by on their way to it. They were in costume, Bentley in a black kilt and Bev in a period dress. They looked very nice.

Bentley left me with this thought, "Playing the bagpipes is like blowing up an air mattress with four holes in it!"

We listened to it on the way to the supermarket. We heard some good Cape Breton fiddle music and "the liftin' o' the kilts". I'm glad it was audio only!

Enjoy.

More Charlie Brown

Raw Story has video of Democratic Congressional Candidate Charlie Brown (CA-04) laying into Doolittle (Repugnant) on Sacramento TV news:

Rep. John Doolittle (R-CA) knew of and tolerated forced abortions, sex slavery and sweatshop conditions in the Northern Marianas Islands, says his challenger.

Retired Lt. Col. Charlie Brown, Democratic candidate for California's 4th District, asserts Doolittle was aware of the abuses while he helped, with the aid of convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff, to fund the islands' government that allegedly exploited its workers.

In a debate on KCRA 3 TV News in Sacramento, Brown faced off against former Rep. Doug Ose, acting as a spokesman on behalf of incumbent Congressman Doolittle. Brown at one point says that Doolittle "got $10,000 from Abramoff's firm, the largest ever paid by Abramoff to a congressman."

Further KCRA coverage on the accusations can be found here.

And learn how you can "Win FREE Laser Hair Removal". Yeesh.

Also see "Dump Doolittle".

This is a good issue to use against Doolittle. Shows his "moral values" and criminal behavior. I hope folks give a shit.

Just as a point of local trivia, the newsanchors, Dave and Lois, are married. To each other.

Monaco

Back from Monaco. Nothing special in my book. The same rich, pompous assholes we have in New York, but their toys are beautiful. They're also getting set up for the Grand Prix so we were dodging construction crews as we walked around the city. Have a look.

Yes, I think I'll have another ...

Blog who?

Not a peep out of me yesterday, didn't even open the laptop. See that, AOB, I can relax. I tossed some pics up from our trip to Florence yesterday, more to follow later on. This morning we're in the home of the Grimaldis, Monte Carlo, and I'll post pics from here later.

Update:

More from Florence.

Charlie Brown Update

Charlie Brown for Congress

[Sacramento: On October 1st, 4th CD Candidate Lt. Col. Charlie Brown and former NATO Supreme Allied Commander General Wesley Clark will join forces for a campaign rally titled "Service Before Self," a central theme of Brown's Congressional campaign. The rally will focus on the need for honest, responsible leadership to guide America through dangerous times, and will also pay tribute to those who have dedicated their lives to putting the security and quality of life of the American people first.

The rally, which will also be attended by veterans, military families, police, fire fighters, teachers, and others, comes on the eve of President Bush's visit to the 4th CD---where he will headline a $2,000 a plate fundraiser for Rep. John Doolittle - an 8 term incumbent who has been weakened by his close connections to Congressional bribery scandals, and the practice of paying his wife a 15% commission on funds raised for his campaign committees.

Lt. Col. Brown spent 26 years in the U.S. Air Force, as a helicopter rescue pilot at the end of the Vietnam War, a Reconnaissance pilot, and eventually, as coordinator of surveillance missions over Iraq's no fly zones in the 1990s. Charlie's wife Jan is also a veteran, and his son has served three rotations in Iraq with the Air Force.

Gen. Clark is a West Point Graduate, a highly decorated Vietnam Veteran, and former NATO Supreme Allied Commander whose distinguished military career spans nearly 4 decades. Clark also ran for President of the United States in 2004.

Brown and Gen. Clark will both be speaking at the Oct. 2nd event, and will be available for brief press interviews.

WHO: 4th CD Congressional Candidate Lt. Col. Charlie Brown, former NATO Supreme Allied Commander General Wesley Clark (featured speakers), as well as numerous area veterans, military families, firemen, teachers, police officers, and other supporters of Charlie Brown for Congress.

WHAT: Brown for Congress Campaign Rally

WHERE: Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Corner of 15th and L Streets, Sacramento, CA .

WHEN: Monday, October 2, 2006, 5:00-5:45 p.m.]

Col. Brown will be in my area from about the 6th to the 14th of October. I'll keep you posted and try to make one or more event.

Lordy, lordy, gimme $40.

File this one under "I guess it had to happen sometime". From Eyeteeth:

Pastor Marty Baker of Stevens Creek Community Church, an 1100-member evangelical church in Augusta, Georgia, has discovered a way to "give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God is God's"--while keeping a bit for himself: he's installed an ATM-style "Giving Kiosk," in the church--one sold by his for-profit venture.

"It's truly like an ATM for Jesus," Baker said.

When I was church-goin' kid, my aunt would give me a little envelope to put my donation in. It was for anonymity: some people gave a lot, some gave a little. I found the value of this system later in life: a dime makes a distinctive 'clink' in the collection plate and everybody turns and looks at you!

A poor devil, but not the Devil

Dissident Voice

Chavez said George Bush is the Devil.

With all due respect, I beg to differ.

The Devil is a Christian take on a mythological character, a trickster god, with versions in many different traditions -- as Hermes, Loki, Coyote, etc. The most important aspects of this personality are a cunning intelligence, a knack for deception, a delight in mischief, and lack of moral scruples. Bush scores high on lack of moral scruples. But where is the creativity and the intelligence?

The biggest point of difference is this: Satan doesn't use force. He deceives; he tempts; he seduces. But he doesn't bully. He doesn't even twist arms. And he certainly doesn't "shock-and-awe" his victims. The kind of behavior most associated with George Bush is more like what we'd expect from the God of the Old Testament than from Satan. Compare "thou shalt have no other gods before me" to "You're either with us or you're with the terrorists." Or compare the U.S. love of aerial bombardment to the treatment of the city of Sodom. Or recall that early speech in which Bush explained that, being the President, he doesn't have to explain his decisions and compare that to God's speech in the Book of Job.

George Bush's power isn't to sell and to seduce, but to buy, to bully and bludgeon. The success of his presidency (and say what you will, it is a smashing success, practically every Bush backer was handsomely rewarded, some beyond their wildest imagination) does not depend on Bush's salesmanship skills but on the state of ruin of public signification. Take the latest torture show. Take John McCain, Mr. Principles, who supposedly hates torture because he was tortured in his Vietnamese cell. For many months he held fast, publicly resisting George Bush's campaign to legalize and institutionalize torture on principle. But finally he agreed to a compromise that effectively allows torture to continue -- as long as nobody hears them scream. Why? Was his month-long opposition a charade? What does the popular McCain have to fear from the lame duck George Bush? Does he not trust his ability to make the case for his "convictions" (which do have, in fact, wide support)? It is one thing to cut political deals in the normal business of the senate, or under pressure, and quite another to compromise needlessly on the very principles that one's public persona and biography is built upon. But McCain's persona, like all of Washington's politicians and opinion makers, is virtually weightless; it can spin in any direction with the gentlest blow of wind. Only in this world full of sound and fury but signifying nothing can an empire be effectively sold and managed with tales told by an idiot.

Torture is applied to get one to follow a script, admit to certain crimes, sign a certain confession, submit, be silent, be broken. It doesn't matter what the victim thinks. It is not therefore by chance that torture is brought back by a President who is a "unilateralist," not only in the technical "foreign policy" sense, but also in the larger sense of having no concern for anyone else's heart or mind. Nor is it by chance that the legalization of torture is rubberstamped by a chattering class that no longer cares whether it is making sense or not. It would be facetious to draw an equivalence between the torture of detainees at Abu-Ghraib and other places and the "torture" of having to listen to George Bush (or James Carville, etc. etc.) There is of course a world of difference between torture of the real and the metaphoric kind. But there is also an underlying unity of purpose. In both cases the goal is not to convince but to subdue, not to communicate but to dominate.

I just posted that because I like it. If you like it, go read the rest.

Also see El Diablo Protesta. If you need a translation, just ask.

"Power and testosterone can be dangerous..."

I love Maureen Dowd. I like Tavis Smiley, too. Raw Story has a video of MoDo on Tavis' show. Win-win!

She flogs her book "Are Men Necessary?", tells why men are necessary (heh!), tells of her mother's best advice - "winterize your car", political cat fights, the Clintons, Bush, Iraq, feminism and her fantasy of working at a 'militia bar in Wyoming', and more, all in 10:22.

Click on 'video'. Go see. Enjoy.

"Congress passed a tyrannical law..."

NYTimes

Here's what happens when this irresponsible Congress railroads a profoundly important bill to serve the mindless politics of a midterm election: The Bush administration uses Republicans' fear of losing their majority to push through ghastly ideas about antiterrorism that will make American troops less safe and do lasting damage to our 217-year-old nation of laws - while actually doing nothing to protect the nation from terrorists. Democrats betray their principles to avoid last-minute attack ads. Our democracy is the big loser.

Last week, the White House and three Republican senators announced a terrible deal on this legislation that gave Mr. Bush most of what he wanted, including a blanket waiver for crimes Americans may have committed in the service of his antiterrorism policies. Then Vice President Dick Cheney and his willing lawmakers rewrote the rest of the measure so that it would give Mr. Bush the power to jail pretty much anyone he wants for as long as he wants without charging them, to unilaterally reinterpret the Geneva Conventions, to authorize what normal people consider torture, and to deny justice to hundreds of men captured in error.

These are some of the bill's biggest flaws:

A long list, actually an obituary for "the rule of law", follows.

We don't blame the Democrats for being frightened. The Republicans have made it clear that they'll use any opportunity to brand anyone who votes against this bill as a terrorist enabler. But Americans of the future won't remember the pragmatic arguments for caving in to the administration.

They'll know that in 2006, Congress passed a tyrannical law that will be ranked with the low points in American democracy, our generation's version of the Alien and Sedition Acts.

This will eventually be struck down just as those acts were, but in the meantime our rights and civil liberties have been struck a mighty fascist blow.

November.

A Letter From Jesus Camp

Satirical Political Report

[Well, yesterday we took a close look at the daily itinerary at Camp Jesus. Today, we share an insider's view from a whistle-blowing camper, with thanks to the classic Camp Granada by the immortal Allan Sherman.

Hello Muddah, I'm in pieces
Here I'm stuck at, Camp for Jesus
Camp is really, like a prison
And they're just about to do an exorcism

Six a.m., blowin' reveille
Class at ten, Study "Devilry"
Kids all screaming, top of their lungs...
Can't understand them since they speak in ancient tongues

All the counselors, hate the Jews
And the Muslims, Confucius too
And the coaches, for sports like soccer
Say they never want to deal with a Macaca

Don't worry 'bout me, though I'm homesick
And my scalp has, just a few ticks
But there's one problem, that I can't fix...
My bunkmate's forehead has a hu-mongous "666"

Take me home, I'm, falling to pieces
Christ Almighty, I hate Camp Jesus
This is worse than, nightmare fiction
For the play I drew short straw for Crucifixion

Take me home, I'll, be a good boy
Clean my room, not, touch my own toy
These fanatics, just can't stand them
One day here seems like a whole goddamn millenium

Dearest Mother, Dearest Father
Boot camp and Anbar, would be less bother
Come and save me, come to my aid
Color War at camp is called the next Crusade

Wait a minute, they're serving hot fudge
If you defame, a liber-al judge
And if you beat up, a homo queer
You're a cinch to lock up Camper of the Year!]

Sex Toy of the Week

The George Bush Butt Plug

Invade an Iraqi, an Afghani, or at even an Iranian when you want. With this fat headed, huge stub of a plug no ass is safe anywhere ...

Everybody should send one of these to the White House. Used ones...

The "Good News" in the NIE

Cdr. Huber at My Left Wing:

I'm not certain what young Mister Bush's people were thinking when they decided to release this. It sure doesn't contain much in the way of that "good news" the administration tells us we're not hearing enough of.

I guess the "good news" here is that four in 10 Iraqis don't approve of attacks of U.S.-led forces.

There is no fixing this mess. The kind of "resolve" we will display by "staying the course" is the kind of resolve it takes to run your head over with a tractor. And the only "political will" involved in continuing our self-destructive course in Iraq is the will of our political leaders to hide the egg on their faces.

Much more in between the quotes. That ol' Squid's got his finger on it.

White House Pronounces Musharraf, Karzai, Bush Dinner Meeting a Success

Unconfirmed Sources just made my day, except for the lack of a 'Liquid Alert'. Damn, but these keys are sticky!

The evening began with the three leaders discussing highly classified plans for the war against Al Qaeda over drinks. The only tense situation occurred when Afghan President Karzai almost disclosed the secret location of Al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden, but he was quickly and politely muffled by Bush and Musharraf. The White House described the meeting overall as very cordial otherwise, and filled with much of the exaggerated nuances in body language that they had expected.

In typical Bush administration tradition, Bush early on assigned nicknames to both leaders, and referred to them as "Pervey" and "Karzey" throughout the evening.

Go see. Trust me, there are pictures you don't wanta miss!

How to avoid WWIII

Today's theme seems to be Bush's WWIII plans, God and voters should only forbid. Robert Parry at Consortiumnews:

This future of endless war and expanding repression represents Bush's grim vision. But the countervailing question is this: Is there a realistic alternative?

The answer is "yes, but." There are still routes available that might lead to a more peaceful world that isolates, marginalizes and eventually eradicates terrorist ideologues. But these strategies would require extraordinary bravery, wisdom, patience, humility and tolerance.

Kinda lets Bush out, huh?

Another important step back from World War III would come with a phased American withdrawal from Iraq.

Though Iraq would surely continue to suffer civil strife, a U.S. military departure would remove what the U.S. intelligence community has called the "cause celebre" for the jihadist movement and would create a dynamic for Iraqis to go after any remaining foreign al-Qaeda operatives.

As we have noted in the past, one of the major worries of the al-Qaeda leadership - expressed in the so-called "Zawahiri letter" - is that a rapid U.S. military withdrawal from Iraq would cause the non-Iraqi jihadists to lay down their arms and go home. [See Consortiumnews.com's "Al-Qaeda Letter Belies Bush's Iraq Claims."]

Indeed, Bush's policies have dovetailed so perfectly with al-Qaeda's dream of engaging the West in a worldwide struggle that CIA analysts believe bin Laden took the risk of releasing a videotape only days before Election 2004 to help Bush gain a second term. [See Consortiumnews.com's "CIA: Osama Helped Bush in '04."]

This "Bush-bin Laden symbiosis" is likely to continue until Congress finally asserts its power over making war or until Bush leaves office.

Given Bush's personality, it seems unthinkable that he would ever admit that he had made a mistake by invading Iraq or that he would order a full troop withdrawal. Nor is he likely to cooperate with peace initiatives by other nations that involve real compromise.

But a Republican defeat in the Nov. 7 elections could at least limit Bush's ability to interfere with initiatives by other international players who might want to step back from the brink of World War III.

Conversely, another Republican victory might well lock in a future of near-endless war abroad and ever-increasing political repression at home.

You better believe that last sentence.

When the Dems take back the House and Senate, that'll be the end of Bush's imperialistic war-mongering pipe dreams. Maybe. Whaddya wanta bet that, in an attempt to make himself look good when OBL can no longer help him, Bush's minions will produce bin Laden's body, evidence that they really were looking for him and thus really cracking down on al-Qaeda?

Note to the pathologist, if one is permitted to examine the corpse: look for freezer burn.

Terrorism and the Republican Way

William Rivers Pitt

Reagan propped up Iraq and was directly responsible for that nation's development of chemical and biological weapons. During the same period, he was selling missiles and other armaments to Iran, an avowed enemy of the United States. At the same time, he was laying the foundation for what eventually became the Taliban regime in Afghanistan, as well as the al Qaeda terrorist network that operated from that country.

George W. Bush used those Iraqi weapons of mass destruction as a pretext for a war of choice against Iraq, a move that has aided and strengthened Shia fundamentalism in Iran while undermining global security. His war against Afghanistan, to destroy the very regime whose roots were laid down by Reagan, has recently been exposed as a farce; the Taliban has come roaring back to life, bringing battles and bombs back into the daily routine of that battered nation.

Creating chaos and destruction in the Middle East, thus delivering a more dangerous world, stands as the main legacy for these two Republicans in that region. Reagan and Bush pursued policies that have made this nation and the world vastly less secure, and supporters of both would have us ignore these hard truths in lieu of empty talking points. Republicans are strong on national defense, you see. Republicans keep us safe.

With friends like these, who needs friends?

If Republicans even have any friends, the friends probably don't even like 'em.

Reading the Gas Pump Numbers

Interesting article at TomDispatch. Just take a light lunch, it's not as long as some.

Is this the result of some hidden conspiracy between the White House and Big Oil to help the Republican cause in the elections, as some are already suggesting? How does a possible war with Iran fit into the gas-price equation? And what do falling gasoline prices tell us about "peak-oil" theory, which predicts that we have reached our energy limits on the planet?

A scholarly discourse follows.

My personal prediction as a gasoline expert, based on my deep-seated, long-standing experience of knowing how to a)remove my gas cap, and b)reach for my wallet, tells me that gas prices will reach their lowest point on about the 1st of November, stabilize for a week, then climb at an alarming rate to a new peak so The Oil Company can recoup its election season 'losses'.

Bush War III: Going to War to Save His Own Ass

A 'must read' from Truthout.

War talk is in the air again, and because of the looming November election, it has to be taken extra seriously.

Ordinarily one would say that the real sign of an imminent attack would be a convening of Congress to approve a use of force authorization, or perhaps an attempt in the United Nations to win endorsement for an attack from the UN Security Council, but clearly this is not happening. And for good reason. Bush would never succeed in winning Security Council approval for a military action against Iran, particularly after insulting the council members by the massive package of lies that he and Colin Powell presented the last time he sought such a vote - for an attack on Iraq - in 2003. Nor would he likely be given the go-ahead by Congress this time around, with all of the House and a third of the Senate facing re-election on November 7 by an electorate that has grown weary of war, angry at a half trillion dollars wasted, and sick about the thousands of flag-draped coffins and broken GIs returning home, with nothing to show for it all but two dysfunctional, war-torn former countries in the Middle East.

The problem is that Bush, who has trashed the Constitution to the point that it is now little more than a historical artifact, doesn't think he needs approval from the UN or even from the Congress to embark on his most dangerous, bloody and immoral war yet.

According to this confirmed White House criminal (Bush has been found guilty by the US Supreme Court of violating the US War Crimes Statutes and by a Federal District Court of violating the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act and the Fourth Amendment), he has the power as "commander in chief in time of war" to act in violation of both Constitution and law, as he sees fit.

We need only note how Bush, in his address at the UN General Assembly last week, was careful to describe the leaders of Iran as "supporters of terror." Be warned: this was a deliberately chosen linguistic construct which means he is asserting his right to attack them as part of that phony "war" on terror, based upon the long-outdated and grossly misrepresented 2001 AUMF.

Why would Bush be willing to do such a thing, against the advice of his generals, against the wishes of the American people, and against all logic and decency?

Clearly he is afraid - afraid that a Democratic Congress will finally start calling him to account for his accumulated crimes against the nation and the American People. That's why he is desperately trying to get the Republican-led Congress - while it still can - to pass legislation retroactively exonerating him and his subordinates for their criminal violations of law and Constitution. That's why he is racing around the country raising money for candidates - even including liberal Republicans whose positions he privately abhors.

At this point, all this president cares about is saving his own sorry ass.

He thinks that another phony, criminal war will rally support for him and the Republicans in time to stave off defeat at the polls. I'm pretty sure he's crazy.

I don't know much about international policy, but then, neither does Bush. I do know that if you go looking for trouble, you're gonna find it. Fighting should be for defense of self or others, except in the really rare instance of someone who is such an asshole they really need a whuppin'.

Iran is like a guy who's takin' karate lessons to keep bullies from pickin' on him: he'll be no threat for a long time, but the bullies better pick on him while they can. If those bullies are still bunged up from a previous scrape, he might whip 'em anyway.

Bush is like a guy who got to be prez of a motorcycle club by hook and by crook. He's such an asshole that the other guys would dearly love to see him miss a turn and go flyin' off a cliff, but they support him because that's what you do. When they go into a bar, most of the guys just want something to cut the dust, but Bush wants to pick a fight. Coulda just had a cold one and chatted with the locals, but Nooooo. First, he picks a fight with the smallest, least threatening guy there. His club backs him up. Bush just watches. Then he wants to pick a fight with another guy just because he thinks it'll make him look like an even bigger man. This time, the rest of the patrons realize this guy is dangerous, and gang up and hand the club its ass. Didn't hurt Bush, though. He just started it. He didn't fight.

What the club (that's us, folks) needs to do to preserve life and limb is take Bush out back and fuck him up themselves before he can get them in any more trouble. Take his shiny bike away from him and put him on the bus to Texas. Then pick a prez with at least rudimentary social skills who ain't a wannabe bad guy.

They won't be welcome in that saloon for a long time, either. Should never have been there in the first place, given their leader's attitude.

Buongiorno

I'm sitting in the bar on the MS Noordam not giving a shit. Just got my WiFi paid for; nothing is free. I'll be back later ... maybe. The Labatt's is tasting awful good.

Ciao!

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

White House Places Anti-Drug Videos on YouTube
One spot shows Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld getting high, then paranoid, then ordering invasion of Iraq.

First All-Billionaire Forbes 400
For once, Bush can credit his tax cuts.

Bush Fingers Syria As Terrorism Sponsor
If they don't cut it out, we'll stop sending them our prisoners to torture.

Cocaine Cola to Market Three New Products
Heroin Rush, Cherry Meth, Ecstasy Orange all test well with teens.

520 Years Ago, Spanish Inquisition Briefly Halted
Grand Inquisitor Tomás de Torquemada (shown) seeks "clarity" regarding rules for interrogating prisoners.

Usually I only post three of those, but when the cat's away, the mice will play!