We can have ...

Peace in our time:

Heh ...

Dope 'n Soda

Fixer's on a, er, high roll today so I'm gonna riff off him a little. First dope, then soda, just like in real life when yer mouth gets dry. Heh.

Cocaine for horses, not for men
Doctor said it kill ya
But he don't says when
An-a ho-oh, baby take a whiff on me

Thanks to lucianovolume, Peru. Peru. Heh.

Thanks to aw2basc.

Thanks to sgvsur13.

Don't miss this one! Jon Stewart tears Runtberg a new one!

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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'Nuff said ...

Dope songs ...

Our pal and brother-in-arms deuddersun was on a dope song thing the other day on Facebook (Gordon was an accomplice) and some of 'em stuck in my head. So, today I figured I'd add a few of my own to the mix.

Dr. Hook - Do Downs

Elton John - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

And just a note: I forgot how damn good Gracie Slick looked back then.

The Doughy One ...

Drops another pant-load. Basically "Kids today are all Socialists and need Conservatives to beat the Socialist right out of them" (Personally, I'm pretty sure your average 15 year old can beat the shit out of ol' Jonah). Dickhead. As Fez says:

So remember folks, so far the GOP's top "pundits" have advocated that voting should be limited to:

Old.White.Men.

Yeah ...

Fuck the Tea Party.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

With The Red Dirt Boys

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Final solutions ...

To Hell with legislation, just kill 'em all:

A number of right-wing authorities have come forward with anti-gay pleas in recent weeks, but one Maryland-based pastor has gone one step further, saying he "kind of likes" the idea of killing lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.

...

Last week one of these Jesus freaks wanted to put the queers in a camp. I guess the logistics were too much for them so we're going directly to executions.

Pro-Life?

Not so much:

The right has been “pro-life” since the 70s when they realized that it would make a fantastic wedge issue. This affected “belief” system dictates that abortion is a no-no and contraception is immoral. I say “affected” since they seem to be more than willing to make exceptions when it suits their purpose.

...

Yeah, when they want to make sure people they don't like don't breed. If you're not white, Christian, and American, the Right could give a shit less what happens to your unborn babies.

This just in!

They're dedicating the official portrait of (thank God) ex-Preznit Chimp just now. Dubya got up and said "Thanks for inviting all my rowdy friends to my hanging."

I'd buy and wear a suit to go the real hanging of that weakling sonofabitch!

A man can dream...

Headline of the Day

CNN Moves To The Right and Loses 52% of Its Viewers

Heh. A marketing decision by one of CNN's rocket scientists, no doubt. "Colossal Fail" will be CNN's epitaph.

Note to CNN*: You have actual reporters and journalists working there, so I've heard. Given that, there is no way you can out-stupid or out-partisan F**Noise. They have too much of a head start.

*Conservative Noise Now?

Mitt’s Bleach-Bottle Bimbo

Daddy Frank in rare form!

Over the past week, Donald Trump has resumed flogging his birther crusade, telling every outlet he can find that “a lot of people are questioning” the president’s birth certificate. What’s his political calculus?

None. There is no more naked celebrity in America than Donald Trump. He doesn’t do subtlety. He doesn’t do “thought.” To say he has a political calculus is a wild overstatement. His strategy amounts to no more than junior high school algebra. The equation is: Trump + infantile public statement x infinite repetitions on TV and Twitter = maximum publicity for flailing Trump products and insatiable Trump ego.

Mr. Rich gets more serious after that, but this Trump shit is more fun than a barrel of monkeys! Shouldn't be. It is, after all, just a barrel of monkeys.

Not With a Bang, but a Derp: It's Mitt

Just go read this by William Rivers Pitt. Heh.

Under normal circumstances, the fact that Romney finally nailed down the nomination he's been seeking since the Paleozoic Era, and his subsequent assault on Obama's record, should have led the news cycle with a mighty "Hiyo, Silver!"

But no. The last lingering echoes of the most ludicrous GOP field ever to seek the presidency roared over the gunwales of Romney's campaign battleship like a wall of green water, washing away any immediate opportunity the newly-minted nominee might have had to sail out of the storm of nonsense that was the 2012 GOP primary season.
...

Oh, no, they're still here, as evidenced by the amazing display that was Mr. Trump going all birther on Romney on the exact same day Romney was to stand with Trump at a fundraiser. The laughter emanating from Obama's campaign headquarters in Chicago was loud enough to make the Mississippi River flow in reverse for a few minutes, and could be heard in underground missile silos five hundred miles away.

Will ridicule help? Who the fuck knows? Sure is fun!

Culling the herd ...

Or, Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection:

A "serpent-handling" West Virginia pastor died after his rattlesnake bit him during a church ritual, just as the man had apparently watched a snake kill his father years before.

Pentecostal pastor Mark Wolford, 44, hosted an outdoor service at the Panther Wildlife Management Area in West Virginia Sunday, which he touted on his Facebook page prior to the event.

...

Heh ... Idiot.

You can die ...

For your country but you can't vote:

Charges of voter suppression are only growing in the state of Florida. As we reported yesterday on The Last Word, that state's Republican Governor Rick Scott is being accused of leading a "misguided" purge of the voter registration rolls. You can see our report in the video above. Florida officials have put together a list of around 180,000 people they believe are not U.S. citizens and should not be allowed to vote.

...

Included on that list is a 91 year old Army vet who faced down the Nazis in WW2. It's time for the DOJ to get involved. Oh, wait, they're too busy busting potheads to save our democracy. Silly me ...

Conservative Logic

Gleeped from Americans Against the Tea Party.

At last! A worthwhile use of taxpayers' money!

“The plot of the movie, to the extent that it has one, revolves around a football team and a cheerleader.”

That’s how The Los Angeles Times describes “The Gangbang Girl #32,” a porno shot on the turf of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in 2001. So far, no one can say who allowed the movie to film under the lights at the taxpayer-owned stadium and national historic landmark, home of the USC Trojans and the spot where John F. Kennedy once accepted the Democratic presidential nomination.

From the "plot" description I think I can guess at the action scenes...

I've been to the L.A. Coliseum many times, everything from USC football to the first World Series game ever played in L.A. to motocross. There was even a motorcycle hillclimb there once, just a ramp up to the peristyle but the bikes were loud. A friend of mine wandered in there through an unlocked gate and did his Tai Chi in broad daylight and complete solitude on the 50-yard-line.

Earlier this month, facing insolvency, the commission voted earlier this month to surrender control of the facility to USC.

If they'd sold tickets to the porno shoot they woulda cleaned up. Heh.

Afterthought re the USC "Trojans": Coulda been a good product placement deal!

Beating-Head-Repeatedly-On-Keyboard Headline of the Day

Senate Candidate Hoaxstra: Create A National Birther Office

The plus side? From the look of the monitor screen, I just wrote a novel with my forehead...

All seriousness aside...

When two men on either end of the seriousness spectrum come up with essentially the same cockamamie idea on the same day, perhaps they're onto something!

Andy Borowitz:

Trump Could Help Romney Win Elusive Billionaire Asshole Vote
...

Reportedly, the top .00001% wealthiest Americans have regarded Mr. Romney with suspicion to date, wondering, in the words of one billionaire, "if he's really one of us."

"It's a bit of a reach for us billionaires to vote for someone like Romney, who just has a couple of hundred million in the bank," said Grayson Rance, a billionaire who has so far viewed the former Massachusetts governor warily. "But if a bona fide billionaire asshat like Trump is for him, that makes you give the guy a second chance."
...

Speaking on CNN's "Situation Room," Mr. Trump told host Wolf Blitzer his reason for endorsing Mr. Romney: "After four years of a President who was born overseas, its time for a President who was born here and sends his money overseas."

As for Mr. Romney, he experienced a rare emotional moment on Memorial Day, placing a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Banker.

Robert Reich:

Trump, like Romney, represents almost everything that's wrong with the American economy today — an unprecedented amount of wealth and power at the very top, widespread insecurity and declining real wages for everyone else, and a form of casino capitalism that places huge bets with other peoples' money and depends on everyone else to bail it out when the bets turn sour.

But wait a minute. Perhaps Romney's handlers are smarter than they seem. Maybe Mitt has decided to let it all hang out. Rather than try to hide what's obvious to everyone, the new strategy is to make Romney's liabilities into assets by flaunting them. Be even bigger and bolder. Money rules!
...

So they figure Mitt's choice of Trump as running mate will allow Mitt to celebrate his boundless capacity to make money, the "I've got mine and the hell with you" financiers and CEOs he represents, and the social Darwinism that he and the regressive right are convinced will be good for America.

The new bumper-sticker: ROMNEY-TRUMP IN 2012. YOU'RE FIRED!

Or maybe they just went out drinking together or got some brown acid outta the same batch. Either way, I'm glad to see Bobby Reich having some fun.

And yer point is...?

NOM spokesperson: LGBTs will make us all sex-worshipping, pagan ‘hedonists’

Gee, he says that like it's a bad thing...