Headline and Quote of the Day

Britney Spears's Music Is Used to Fight Off Somali Pirates (Stop Laughing)

“I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention.” Heh.

Heh.

Dark Money Kochsuckers pay fine

ProPublica. Much more and many links at site

Two dark money groups linked to conservative billionaire brothers Charles and David Koch have paid a record $1 million in fines to California to settle allegations that the combined $15 million they spent on two ballot proposals in the state was not properly disclosed.

The civil settlement, announced Thursday afternoon in Sacramento, caps a year of investigation into the activities of the two Arizona groups, Americans for Responsible Leadership and the Center to Protect Patient Rights.
...

“What is the takeaway from this trail of dark money?” asked Ann Ravel, the outgoing head of California’s Fair Political Practices Commission, which investigated the groups along with the state attorney general’s office. “This is a nationwide issue. These groups exploit loopholes in the law to undermine the clear purpose of the law, to give essential information to the public.”
...

Anonymous money funneled through social welfare nonprofits and trade associations has become a major factor in federal elections since the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision in early 2010 opened up the door to unlimited corporate and union spending on outside ads, as documented by ProPublica. In the past two election cycles, social welfare nonprofits have spent more than $350 million, mostly from unknown donors, on election ads telling people to vote for or against federal candidates.

"Social welfare non-profits" my ass. That's a carefully engineered loophole you can drive an aircraft carrier through. More like a container ship fulla Benjamins.

And while the groups have been linked to the Koch brothers, it’s not clear how exactly they’re connected. The Center to Protect Patient Rights, which operates out of a post office box in Arizona and doesn’t even have a website, has been described practically like an ATM machine for various groups affiliated with the Koch brothers. The press release issued by California authorities says the Center and Americans for Responsible Leadership “operated as part of the ‘Koch Brothers Network’ of dark money political nonprofit corporations.”

The Kochs have long been known for spending millions to influence elections behind the scenes, through a complex network of groups that critics have nicknamed “the Kochtopus.” The Kochs themselves have remained determinedly in the background.
...

The fine is the largest in California history in a campaign-finance case.

The manner in which the groups paid it speaks volumes about how dark their money really is.

They paid by cashier’s check, sent by a Sacramento lawyer’s office Thursday morning, betraying no clue to the money’s origin.

They paid the fine, chump change to them, and we still don't know who they are.

This shit has to stop, but as long as we have a right-wing SCOTUS it will not.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Iran Removes Anti-American Posters as Western Nuke Talks Loom
“Death to Satan” replaced by “Welcome Satan.”

7-Eleven Begins Offering Premium Wines
To wash down those Slim Jims.

Not to worry. They still have cheap vodka.

Cop That Pepper-Sprayed Students Awarded $38,000 for Psychiatric Damage
Cops that beat the crap out of Rodney King hire a lawyer.

New Theory: Earliest Cave Paintings May Have Been by Women
Experts cite dearth of pornography.

Airlines Shrink Size of Seats, Add More of Them in Economy
Hoping to eventually break our will and force us to upgrade to business.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

This is a little different!

Thanks to ajack2boys.

Why Poor Whites in Red-States Vote Against Their Interest

via Occupy Democrats.

In what is quite possibly the most powerful, insightful, and concise answer to the age-old question of why poor whites residing in red-states always vote against their own best interest, Michael Eric Dyson hits the nail right on the head and gives some powerful advice to these red-state voters.

In this powerful 90-second response to a viewer’s question, Dyson doesn’t attack nor belittle these white voters, but he does provide a very powerful example given by the Rev. Martin Luther King that shows why these voters living in red-states would be much better served by joining in solidarity with other poor Americans of every color in fighting for better wages, a fairer economy, healthcare for the poor, and the stemming of growing socioeconomic inequality.

It's too bad most of the poor people in red states won't see this on FOXNoise.

Headline of the Day

Democrat Blasts GOP’s Obamacare Hearing: ‘I Will Not Yield To This Monkey Court’

And a phrase is coined!

This cocaine tastes like Oreos

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on corporate scientific engineering of addiction.

Then came a flawless little orgasm of a headline, a pitch-perfect, viral-ready soundbite of awesomeness packed with all the keywords Americans love most – Drugs! Cocaine! Oreo cookies! You! Rats! Addiction! Obamacare! Sex! – all about this cute little study that reveals how it lab rats, not all that surprisingly, love those famous, chocolatey discs of sugar and lard just as much as they love cocaine, and btw just kidding about the Obamacare and the sex. Sort of.
...

OMG, Oreos! Right? Tasty and barely digestible wheels of refined sugar, lard, chemicals and $20 billion/100 years of slightly evil marketing? And cocaine! Popular and cheaper-than-ever whiffs of refined coca plant, $1 trillion in completely failed drug war and absolutely zero marketing required, ever? Perfect.

You're on your own. I'm gettin' the munchies. Gotta go chop up an Oreo or ten and line 'em out...

We won't hit ourselves in the ass with the door on the way out...

Let the Dysfunctional Plantation-Based Red States Secede

I've got no problem with this. If we learned anything from last time, it's that you can't fix stupid. Better to let 'em go than fight to keep them.

Simply put, the Tea Party represents the 21st century rebirth of angry 19th century white male Confederates who wanted to secede from the United States and start their own dysfunctional country based on a plantation economy.

Maybe we should let them.

That was the slow pitch. Now for the fast curve:

And while we’re at it, let’s make it easier for Ted Cruz, Michelle Bachmann and the rest of their Tea Party friends to start their own plantation-economy style country, by starting a secessionist movement of our own in the “blue” states.

The idea of northern industrialized states seceding from America is nothing new.

Bada bing! If they won't secede, and they won't because they like our money too much, maybe we should.

It’s time for a new Hartford Convention.

So what would an America free of Southern lunacy and Tea Party radicalism look like?

Long list follows.

And, the Medicare eligibility age would be lowered to the moment birth, giving us a national single-payer healthcare system.

When this is accomplished, America will reflect a 21st century version of the ideals and visions of the Founders.

If it takes a secession of “blue” America to achieve all of this, then so be it.

It’s time to let small-minded bigots go back to their plantation-style economies and let them run their states like third-world countries.

Maybe instead of us seceding, we oughta just throw their ignorant racist asses out. It would be a grand experiment during which we would prosper from not sending more tax money to the moocher states than they pay in, and it would be over as soon as the people started to starve and begged to be let back in. Maybe, just maybe, they'd figure out the world doesn't work now the way it did 200 years ago and develop a little humility. I'd be happy if they'd just STFU. Ah, never happen.

Ever the optimist, I'm going to invest in chain link fence, barbed wire, and land mine companies. Might as well make a little money from the border fence that keeps sane people out of crazyland or the other way 'round. It'll be a long one.

Grrrr...

HuffPo

A senior official from former President George W. Bush's administration is quoted in “Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House” saying American troops went into Iraq because the U.S. was looking for a fight.

"The only reason we went into Iraq, I tell people now, is we were looking for somebody’s ass to kick. Afghanistan was too easy," the anonymous official said, according to Politico.

Afghanistan didn't have any oil, either.

Nice going, Dumya and The Dick. The ass "you" ended up kicking was OURS. Bastards.

Headline of the Day

From Red To Blue — Why the House Will Absolutely Change Hands Next Year

I don't really much care why as long as it does.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Violin Played by Titanic's Bandleader as Ship Went Down Auctioned Off
Winning bid made by Ted Cruz.

Fitting - the fiddle is known as "the devil's instrument":

Some conservative Christian denominations condemned dancing -- along with card playing and drinking -- as sinful and Satan-inspired. But listening to a good dance fiddler, even conservative Christians were apt to find themselves irresistibly lured into tapping their feet or moving to the music. The hypnotic and seductive lure of good fiddle music makes it a tool of the Devil.

Post Shutdown, Democrats Choose New Slogan for 2014 Elections
“Not Crazy.”

Michelle Bachman: We're in God's End Times
Offers herself as evidence.

Physics Nobel Prize-Winner Peter Higgs Doesn't Own Computer or Cell Phone
Was informed of his win by owl.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Marty Stuart on mandolin

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Wrecking Ball

Put down your drink! Ya might wanta hold off on lunch for a little while too...

If this goes viral, there won't be enough bleach in the WORLD!

On the flip side, I'm beginning to like Miley Cyrus.

Thanks to American Family Voices.

"48 Solyndras"

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Transcript:

The so called party of fiscal responsibility just wasted the equivalent of 48 Solyndras in taxpayer dollars in just 2 weeks! According to ratings agency Standard & Poor's, the shutdown cost $2 billion in real money, and over $24 billion in lost economic activity - which makes the $60 million Republicans wasted trying to repeal Obamacare over 40 times knowing it was impossible look like peanuts! To the GOP and fleabagger Bible thumpers, wasting billions of dollars on political stunts that have no chance of working over ideology and pride is more obviously more important than stopping starvation in America. And based on putting on a show about their hatred for Obamacare and Obama, they had no problem throwing millions of people under the bus, closing down services which millions of people depend on, and making the United States the laughing stock of the world, again, and a bad credit risk - again! This whole thing was over nothing! They could have done the deal they ended up doing 2 weeks ago - all John Boehner had to do was call a vote - but the Tea Party had him by the balls. So every dollar lost and bit of blame for this fiasco is on the heads of John Boehner, and the Republicans and teabaggers in his house. Approval for the GOP is at the lowest level in history! Every single poll proves it. When they say they're listening to the American people they're lying through their teeth, and always have been -- and anybody who believes it is an idiot! Stupidity is a bigger threat to America than terrorism is. Stupid people elect stupid leaders. What we just saw was an attempted coup by a handful of fascist billionaires who not only tricked a bunch of gullible idiots into voting against their own best interest, they actually infiltrated the US Government with anarchists, and they actually took down the government -- for awhile! This should scare the living shit out of everybody. Thomas Jefferson said "people get the government they deserve." I beg to differ - we deserve a lot better than this. And this is not what the majority of people in America voted for. We have elections for a reason. Well let me tell you something righties - we're coming for you, you treasonous fucks, we're coming in 2014, and again in 2016. But just keep doing what you're doing - it's working just fine... for us ;)

Lunch is served!

Bwahahahaha! Enjoy, bitchez!

A tip o' the Brain to the Brain's Facebook page. It's confusing...

The Sabotage Of American Democracy

Andrew Sullivan

What the Tea Party represents, in stark contrast to conservatism, is a radical attack on the very framework of our governing system. It is not right or left within our democratic system. It is a form of secession from it and a de facto abandonment of the notion of one country under one rule of law. It is about sabotage rather than opposition. It is bad enough when one party will seek to sabotage the law of the land – by attempting to rally the public to spurn the new healthcare law, in the hopes of causing it to collapse. But when the dominant faction of one party is bent on sabotaging our democracy, it must not simply be tolerated or appeased the way John Boehner shamefully did. It must be defeated. Anything less is a form of appeasement of forces and ideas that are truly antithetical to the democratic way of life and to constitutional governance.

Yes, in my view, the situation is that grim. If the Republican right’s fanaticism still blinds them to the error of their ways after they nearly destroyed the global economy (and brutally damaged the American one), it becomes clear that only a total collapse of the American government and economy could truly teach them the futility of their deluded aspirations. The rest of us cannot and must not tolerate that. We must draw a line. That line, for those who still believe in the regular order of our democracy, is November 2014.

Priority 1 in '14.

You are all completely insufferable

No, not you...

There's a lot going on today. Needs some time to settle out. Shorter: we're winning.

I almost forgot that if it's Morford it must be Wednesday. Here young Mark goes on about the Dark Side of the interwebs.

Ah, the Internet. It’s an equal opportunity debaser.

Hate and meanness, you could say, have reached epidemic levels, seem to have poisoned the national dialogue in ways we’ve never seen before. Witness Congress, the modern GOP and its own pet hate group, the Tea Party, contaminating the US government with an open loathing for the black president so virulent and barefaced, they’re willing to shut down the government, default our national debt, and destroy lives of their own constituents to prove it. Now that’s commitment.

It wasn’t always like this. Sure, we’ve always detested various groups for no valid reason; our prejudices and intolerance for race, gender and nationality are legendary. But America used to be all about broad areas of hate, wide swaths of intolerance: your tribe, your silly god, your heritage, your idiotic national sport. The French! Blacks! Chinese and Jews and the Irish! Gays, New Yorkers, Russians! Feminists who hate love and God and men! My team of violent helmeted thugs is better than your team of violent helmeted thugs, and I’ll shoot you dead and riot in the streets to prove it! See? Easy.
...

And then there’s anonymous commenting. That one gets my vote – and I’m far from alone – for Worst Invention of the Millennia; few things have done more to destroy healthy, intellectual dialogue than allowing anyone to say whatever they want about any topic, news story or piece of journalism without recourse, without any real knowledge of the subject, without putting their real name, face, or email address to their sneer. The consensus is universal: Anonymous commenting encourages the very worst, lowest aspects of the human animal.

Yes, please sign a name or be anonymously ignored.

But I have to say, there is a key distinction to be made between pointed satire/cultural criticism, and straight-up meanness for its own sake, just to get attention, just to hear itself scream and draw more bloody hate into the fray. Not surprisingly, this distinction is completely lost on those who think things like higher education, science and books are for elitist jerks.

Harrumph. At least us elitist jerks are smarter than them ignoramus jerks.

I'm going dark 'til tomorrow unless something breaks that's wonderful enough I need to tell you about. See yas.

Just for fun

Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin explains complicated Constitutional law words to you

Neverending punchline and holder of the Bump-it Industries Constitutional Law Chair at Mat-Su GED’s-r-Us University takes time out from palling around with Canadian terrorists to explain to America that that there Obammer fella is cruisin’ for an impeachable bruisin’ if he doesn’t pay America’s bills the way the Founding Fathers and Jesus would want him to:

(Note: this is also a drinking game. Every time Palin writes the word “debt”: drink a Bartles & Jaymes. But if you wake up tomorrow and find yourself to be a knocked-up-teenager, it’s your own damn fault. Whore.)

I’m sorry. Where were we? Oh yes, Prof. Dr. Palin, please proceed:

Go.

The worm turns...

The funniest thing to me about the teatard rally at the White House is, for the first time in my memory, it was old white right-wingers calling the cops who were there - without pay - to preserve order tools of the establishment instead of young lefties. Probably old law-and-order racist voters too. Also probably the first time they weren't cheering the cops on to whup up on the demonstrators as well.

I see yer deuce-high and raise ya...

I like Eugene Robinson, but he's usually a little too mild for me. He's upped his game some in this piece.

A crazy thing is happening in shuttered, dysfunctional Washington: Democrats are pushing back.

This phenomenon is so novel and disorienting that many Republicans in Congress, especially the tea party bullies, seem unable to grasp what’s going on. They keep expecting President Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to fold like a cheap suit because, well, such a thing has happened before. I guess it’s understandable that the GOP might have forgotten the difference between bluffing and actually holding a winning hand.

Dems are famous for caving and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Not this time, and it's about goddam time. Will they hold? We will see.

It is understandable that the activist Republican base might think victory through blackmail is the natural order of things. It’s not. It’s a distortion of American democracy that weakens the nation, and it has to end.

I'm looking at this less like a poker game and more like finally confronting the schoolyard bully. I hope the Dems don't think a bitch slap will do the trick. He needs to be left prone, bleeding and crying.

Update:

Bobby Reich makes my point:

Suddenly the Republicans are acting like the school-yard bully who terrorized the playground but finally got punched in the face. They’re in shock. They’re humiliated. They’re trying to come up with ways of saving face.

With bloodied nose, House Republicans are running home. They’ve abruptly turned negotiations over to their Senate colleagues.
...

The question is how thoroughly President Obama has learned that extortionist demands escalate if you give in to them.

We will see.