Thanks to Rare Tracks.
Bonus Emmylou!
Wisconsin Gov. Walker Dodges Question About Evolution
But cops to Earth going around the sun.
Netflix Launches $7.99 a Month Service in Cuba
Hoping Cubans will want to pay one third of their monthly income to binge-watch “House of Cards.”
More Than 202,000 People Have Applied For One-Way Ticket to Mars
Most of them to get out of jury duty.
Drone That Intercepts Other Drones Undergoes Testing
By Wham-O.
Calls Renewed for Release of Withheld Parts of Investigation Linking Saudis With 9/11
Now that we have enough oil.
Rand Paul Gets His Measles Vaccination
Develops autism.
Two Thirds of Americans Dissatisfied With Wealth Distribution
Includes richest .1%, who want more.
Study: Conservatives Die Sooner Than Liberals
Usually from gout.
Koch Brothers to Spend $900 Million on 2016 Campaign
While expecting nothing more in return than control of all three branches of the government.
Indiana Gov. Pence Decides Against Establishing State-Run News Outlet
Internment camps, martial law still on the table.
Most People, Including 51% Of Republicans, Want Action On Climate Change
Even those who think it's a hoax want action.
Alabama School Suggests Kids Hurl Canned Goods at IntrudersThe stupid, it burns...
Nothing stops a homicidal maniac with an AK-47 like Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup.
IOWA: GOP HOPEFULS MAKE EARLY APPEARANCE AT NO CHANCE SUMMIT
Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Rick Perry, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Dr. Ben Carson, Newt Gingrich all speak at event held for candidates with no chance of being nominated.
New Saudi King Promises Continuity
Harems, floggings, beheadings will continue.
1 in 4 Americans Believe God Will Decide Super Bowl
He decided two months ago and is just waiting to see the spread.
Study: Planet in Danger Zone After Crossing Four of Nine Environmental Boundaries
It's too hot, too wet, too dirty and too loud.
Published on Jan 18, 2015
Originally recorded by Fat City for their 1972 LP Welcome To Fat City and then by
Starland Vocal Band for their 1977 LP
Birthers, truthers, climate change deniers, Creationists, Originalists, fundamentalists, white supremacists confer at GOP retreat
OBAMA SEEKS TAX HIKE ON WEALTHY TO PAY FOR CUT TO MIDDLE CLASS
Or, as conservatives call it, grounds for impeachment.
Man Arrested for Wanting To Blow Up Capitol
Got idea from House Republicans.
Supreme Court to Rule on Same-Sex Marriage
Will decide if gays have same rights as corporations.
Plummeting Price of Oil a Catastrophe for Russia
President Putin forced to sell his Super Bowl ring.
Study: New York safer without cops
Jobs Rise, Wages Fall in December
Translation: more people have lousy jobs.
Magic Mushrooms Found in Queen Elizabeth's Garden
“I don't know nothin',” says the Queen.
NCAA to Assist Players' Families With Travel Expenses to Championship Game
And hope families keep mouths shut regarding billions players bring in while getting paid nothing.
REMINDER
You're just one embarrassing blunder away from being an Internet sensation.
Emmylou Harris believes Maddox has never received the recognition she deserves, in part because of what Harris calls a reluctance in American society to celebrate the value of white country and roots music.[11] Dolly Parton also credits Maddox as an early influence.[12] Laura Cantrell's song "California Rose" was written in memory of Maddox.
114th Congress Begins Work This WeekWhew! That's a relief...
First order of business: table everything until the 115th Congress.
Dozens of New State Laws Go Into Effect
In some states you can now openly carry a gun at your higher minimum wage job while smoking a reefer.
Preparing to Run, Jeb Bush Resigns From All Board MembershipsTemporary resignations, I'm sure. He can sign back up after Hillary kicks his ass.
Also Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, membership at Spearmint Rhino gentlemen’s club.
HarperCollins Omits Israel in Atlases Sold in Middle East
Atlases sold in Israel omit every surrounding country.
New York Times Calls for Prosecution of Dick CheneyThen we'll do lunch...
With a thorough trial, a fair decision and a speedy execution.
Dish Network Drops Fox News
Now Dish subscribers will never find out what really happened in Benghazi.
Starting Next Year, Dutch Bankers Must Swear to Uphold Banker's “Hippocratic Oath”
Or get jobs in U.S.
SONY HIT BY NEO -NAZI HACKERS
Studio pulls several Three Stooges shorts
from syndication.
Amazon Unveils Prime Now, Promising One-Hour Delivery
In case of fire, you can have fire extinguisher delivered before fire department arrives.
Robot Flies to Germany as Airline Passenger
Complains of delays, inadequate legroom, rude service; will return by ship.
Kim Jong Un Surrounded by An Adoring Crowd
Everyone hoping to get close enough to grab a piece of his sandwich.
$1.1 TRILLION SPENDING BILL RIDDLED WITH RIDERS
Public may be surprised to learn it's now legal to deduct the entire cost of a yacht as “flood insurance.”
Following Release of Scathing Senate Report on CIA Torture, Accountability for Those Responsible Unlikely
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld “too prominent to fail.”
Only 64% Still Believe in American Dream
American dream defined as a good job, a happy family, a house in the suburbs with a two-car garage and a meth lab in the basement.
Football's Popularity Declines Among More Educated, More Liberal
Still popular with dumb conservatives.