Florida Feels Bush Wrath
George W. Bush reminded Florida voters Saturday that he is *The* voice of God. “Hurricane Charley was an act of God that not coincidentally followed a poll showing John Kerry in the lead among Florida voters,” Bush hinted. Voters in other swing states could also be subject to “acts of God” if they worship another God before Bush, the commander-in-chief added. “It’s hellfire season again in California,” Bush said while visiting the Pacific Northwest this weekend. “How long has it been since there’s been a good-sized earthquake in Portland?”
Bush says it is his goal to make Barrack Obama’s speech at the Democratic Convention come half-true. “By the time I get through with my vengeance there won’t be any blue states left,” Bush said. “There are huge nuclear weapons facilities in New Mexico and Washington that voters there should consider before they cast their ballots.”
“Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord,” Bush told a gathering at the Rev. Jerry Falwell’s church in Lynchburg, VA. “and I’m going to take full advantage of that by destroying these ‘sensitive’ Democrats.” Falwell reminded Bush of the time he and the Rev. Pat Robertson were able to keep a Hurricane out of Virginia and changing its course to the "homosexual-infested" Long Island and Connecticut areas. “I do the same thing,” Bush admitted. “There is no record of a hurricane ever hitting Crawford, Texas.”
This is outrageous. And as for homosexual-infested Long Island, come up here, Pat. I ain't queer, but I'd give it to your ass so hard you'd choke. Fucking bible-thumping, Jesus freak, assholes.
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