Tuesday, December 28, 2004

The Year of Reverse Instant Karma

So you think everything went way wrong in '04 and you can't figure it out? You're not the only one. Joel Stein in the LATimes:
A year in which failure was rewarded and success was punished. It was the year of celebrating the undeserving. The year, to put it simply, of Paris Hilton. There were no consequences for anything. I know people who didn't vote and not one of them died despite P. Diddy's best intentions. There was genocide in Sudan, but no one could be bothered to stop it.

Donald Rumsfeld got to keep his job. Michael Ovitz got to keep his money. Bill O'Reilly got to remain the mouthpiece of manly conservatism even though we discovered that his idea of phone sex involves taking a woman to a Caribbean hotel and massaging her with a loofah. His idea of rough sex is exfoliating.

Good deeds were actually punished. The only voice in the Cabinet who warned that Iraqis wouldn't be throwing tulips at our feet, Colin Powell, was pushed out of the Cabinet. After two presidents who went unscathed for ducking the draft, John Kerry's bravery was questioned for serving in Vietnam. For the first time, Howard Stern was not the perpetrator behind someone having her top removed on television and yet he was the one punished by the FCC. The authors of the 9/11 report — the first readable government document in 200 years — didn't get their names on the book or a piece of the action for the NBC miniseries being made by Ron Howard.

Yep. It was a topsy-turvy year indeed. I'm calling it "The Year Stupidity Won". Not one to remember fondly, but one we better not forget or it will be known throughout history as "The Year America Began To Die". By the choice of 51% of its own people.

Kerik's Nanny

This is a week old, but I've been away. Paul Krassner has found the nanny who some doubt even existed and interviews her in The Nation. Krassner has written many books about dope and the counterculture and apparently keeps up with the times.
Q. So, Maria, how does it feel to have people doubt that you exist?

A. I regret it very much. I am alive and tricking.

Go read it. It's not long, and will brighten your day.

Portrait of a brother

Morrigan pays tribute to her [Oops, gender malfunction, sorry.-The F-man.] brother in several parts. A great piece, or pieces as it were.

Go read.

Monday, December 27, 2004

God's will

[Note: Moving this to the top so it stays there today. Please help if you can. - The F-man.]


From David at 42:

[. . .]

I can't think of too many more scary ways to die than drowning in the dark in your own house, or being swept up by a 40-foot wave and smashed into a tree or building. What a horrific disaster... I'm sure that some preacher somewhere today blamed it on those brown heathens who were just asking for it by messing around with those non-Jesus religions.


I been waiting for it since I heard about the disaster. Sorta like Falwell on 9/11. If you want to help these poor people, and if you have the cash after Materialism Eve and Consumption Day:

*Save the Children
Asia Earthquake/Tidal Wave Relief Fund
54 Wilton Road, Westport, CT 06880
800-728-3843
*Link via Skippy


Update: 10:20:


Another link if you want to help:

*American Red Cross International Relief Fund

*Link via Matt Yglesias


Update: 13:15:


Lots more links here.

Update: 18:15:


A blog dedicated solely for "News and information about resources, aid, donations and volunteer efforts."

Reality-based Conservatives?

Found this rooting around at Kos:

[. . .]

For contemporary America, the “it” is the setting in full motion of an aggressive, reckless, militarized foreign policy, viewed as lawless by much of the world—one whose almost inevitable outcome is nuclear war. While Pinochet and Franco and for most of his reign Stalin kept within their own borders, Bush has ambitions of global scope. Of course they are idealistic ambitions, beautiful ambitions. The spread of democracy—especially if it springs up from a country’s indigenous institutions and populace—is a very good thing. But the Bushites now see democracy’s spread as necessary for America’s own survival. The world, particularly the Muslim world, must become democratic now, or we will perish. The neoconservatives in the administration believe that democracy will spread only if the president commits more and more troops to Iraq and topples the regimes in Tehran and Damascus. As alarming as the neoconservatism of Rumsfeld, Cheney, Perle, Wolfowitz, Feith, Danielle Pletka, and John Bolton is, more alarming is the spirit that has spread in its wake—a kind of neoconservativism without a graduate degree.

You see it on certain blogs and hear it in the rants of some of the most widely listened to right-wing talk-radio hosts. If the Arabs don’t want to be democratic, we should nuke them. We have no choice but to nuke them for our own safety. It’s a vulgarized neoconservatism —no one from the American Enterprise Institute speaks like this (in public). But this talk is around in the heartland and growing, and it is wind in the sails of the new administration.

[. . .]


From The American Conservative, believe it or not. The real Conservatives are starting to get nervous. They're seeing skyrocketing deficits, the mess in Iraq, and they're realizing how fucked up Chimpy Inc. really is. They're afraid that Bush and, more importantly, the people who tell him what to think, are starting to believe their own bullshit. Wonder how that Rapture Index is doing?

Input please

Does anyone who comes here use Netscape's browser? I try to optimize this site to it displays well with the popular browsers, but I don't have Netscape and I'd like to know if there are any problems viewing the page. Looks fine in Firefox and IE. Lemmie know. (This goes for AOL folks too.)

No Representation Without Taxation

Found a piece about mixing politics and religion by Avery Walker at Raw Story. The writer lays into Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson pretty good and further lays bare their phony bullshit and agenda-driven pseudo-Christianity. Good story.
People accused of witchcraft were almost always a threat to the community in some other way—either financial or social. Liberals often forget that religion wasn’t the reason for witchcraft “outbreaks;” it was an excuse. Religions have used government to do their dirty work, yes, but far more common are politicians who use religion to justify immoral beliefs and policies. These men are not clergy becoming involved in politics, they are politicians disguising themselves as clergy.

Jerry Falwell, for instance, was in favor of segregation in the 50s and 60s, but now seems just fine with sharing the sidewalk with a Darkie. Did God flip-flop, or is Falwell just a scumbag politician who used religion to justify social injustice? Falwell’s more offensive comments and patently still-evident racism are funny, but he at least, seems to mean well. Remember that when paired with “politician,” the word “scumbag” is barely an insult.

Pat Robertson is often quoted as having called feminism a, “Socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” And here, I just thought it was a belief in equal rights and opportunities for both sexes.

Repeatedly throughout the Presidential campaign, I found myself wondering why it was seen as a contradiction for John Kerry to be a pro-choice Catholic, but nobody raised issue with George W. Bush being a pro-war, anti-poor Methodist. The Methodist Church is relatively liberal, while the same cannot be said for our President. You’d never know it by Bush’s rhetoric, but the United Methodist Church has been debating gay rights since 1972. The Church’s current slogan is “The United Methodist Church: Open hearts. Open minds. Open doors.” I think the Bush Administration policy is, "Open heart? Open mind? Hit the door."

Throughout history, we find that whenever the Church becomes a political power, it ceases to be a religious body and becomes a political one with far too much power. The church becomes a branch of government, and is, in essence, lost. Religion is a great way to keep simple people in line, and politicians know that.

The head of state becomes the head of church, and their whims become those of God. Catherine the Great was the head of the Russian Church, and even though she was considered a liberal leader at the beginning of her reign, she gave ex-lovers serfs by the thousands. “Sorry things didn’t work out, babe. Have seven thousand human beings.” God’s work? (The only sovereign who springs to mind as having doled out government posts to more male ex-lovers than Catherine was James I. You might recognize his name from the cover of your Bible.) When it was suggested that she tax the incredibly wealthy Church, the proposition couldn’t be taken seriously. The clergy was more powerful than the Czarina.

Much of this is facilitated by the fact that human beings have a megalomaniacally arrogant tendency to assume that their personal and cultural values are shared by God. There are people in this country, for instance, who equate a pure form capitalism with Christianity, in spite of the fact that one in nine verses of the New Testament is devoted to the responsibilities of the rich to the poor.

You see, any person who believes Jesus Christ to be the savior of their own soul, and of those of the world, probably took notice of the fact that he was executed on religious grounds, for political reasons. And the moral, all at once, boys and girls, is… When you mix politics and religion, very bad things happen. I could go on and on about Crusades and Holy Wars, but if your Savior being whipped and nailed to a cross isn't enough to drive the point home, I can't imagine what is. But religion generally isn’t the reason; It’s merely a means.

Later, many came to realize that when religion becomes a tool of the government, its true purpose is lost. There are many churches in America who understand this. They just don’t lobby for it, because… well, that would be mixing politics and religion.

When someone laid a bit of a trap, encouraging Christ to speak out about taxes, he replied that one should, “Give to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." In doing so, Christ temporarily avoided being drawn into the politics of the day. Smart guy, that Jesus. Hope he has a happy birthday, and a long chat with everyone in the religious right.

I felt the writer didn't go into the taxation of religion quite enough, but all in all a good article.

The main point, that government uses religion as a tool, is particularly germane to the current mis-administration of our country.

If the political religionists want a voice in government, they should pay taxes like the rest of us. They have been getting a free ride for too long using God's name in the pursuit of power and wealth. Some of these guys, no, make that a lot of these guys, have amassed empires of income and real property over the years absolutely tax-free. They won't give up the perks without a fight that no American politician has the guts to pursue, so I know I'm shoveling shit against the tide, but I have felt this way for a long time. My tinfoil hat is getting a little warm.

I understand that many churches use their wealth for good purposes, and that could be a deduction, fine and dandy. Normal expenses and overhead, too, like any business, which is what this is all about.

Hit the bastards in the wallet and maybe some of 'em will shut the fuck up about matters that don't concern them, like how you or I should live our lives.

Who's in charge here?



Might as well paint 'CIA' on the side. Fucking idiots. From WaPo via Melanie:

The airplane is a Gulfstream V turbojet, the sort favored by CEOs and celebrities. But since 2001 it has been seen at military airports from Pakistan to Indonesia to Jordan, sometimes being boarded by hooded and handcuffed passengers.

The plane's owner of record, Premier Executive Transport Services Inc., lists directors and officers who appear to exist only on paper. And each one of those directors and officers has a recently issued Social Security number and an address consisting only of a post office box, according to an extensive search of state, federal and commercial records.

[. . .]

According to airport officials, public documents and hobbyist plane spotters, the Gulfstream V, with tail number N379P, has been used to whisk detainees into or out of Jakarta, Indonesia; Pakistan; Egypt; and Sweden, usually at night, and has landed at well-known U.S. government refueling stops.

[. . .]


You're the fucking Agency, with a bigger operating budget than most countries' GDP. Aside from the moral aspects of whisking detainees all over the world to be tortured for information, how the fuck did the press and hobbyists find out which plane you're using to do it? Who is running the fucking show over there? You're the fucking C-I-A, for chrissakes.

Update: 16:40:

Steve Gillard has more . . . much more.

Bend over, grandma

LA Times via Pandagon:

[. . .]

But the surpluses have turned into record deficits. President Bush is not about to take back his tax cuts, but in setting spending levels in the budget that he will deliver to Congress in the new year, he will single out a loser — perhaps several — for every winner.

[. . .]

But it is widely expected that, to help Bush keep his promise of cutting the deficit in half over five years, the budget will "maintain strict discipline," as the president said at a news conference last week.

Arguing that the costs are only vaguely known, budget writers may also decide not to include the outlays needed to cover the additional costs of the war in Iraq or the transition to proposed private Social Security accounts.

Interest groups know which programs are vulnerable to cuts — and are circling the wagons around them.

Medicare and Medicaid are prominent on Bush's likely hit list.

[. . .]

The ultimate losers, he said, would be the elderly insured by Medicare. Before Congress reversed the cuts scheduled for 2004 and 2005, he said, a survey showed that 24% of family doctors would stop taking new Medicare patients if the cuts held up.

[. . .]

The National Governors Assn. says state budgets are under siege even without more federal Medicaid cuts. The association's chairman and vice chairman, Govs. Mark R. Warner of Virginia and Mike Huckabee of Arkansas, said last week in a letter to congressional leaders that it was "unacceptable in any deficit reduction strategy to simply shift federal costs to states, as Medicaid continues to impose severe strains on state budgets."

[. . .]


This will be just like No Child Left Behind. Cut the federal budget by shifting the tax burden to the states. NCLB has raised some folks' property taxes around here by 45%. How much you figure this 'budget discipline' will cost us? Thanks for that $300 a couple years ago, (p)resident Dicknose. I really needed that 'tax cut'.

Left behind

Via Kevin at the american street:

[World News]: Beijing, Dec 27 : China has launched the first backbone network of the next-generation Internet, CERNET2, breaking US monopoly and allowing the Communist giant to dramatically narrow its gap with world leaders, officials and experts said today.

Eight departments of the Chinese Government said CERNET2 has become formally operational from December 25.

"We were a learner and follower in the development of the first generation Internet, but we have caught up with the world's leaders in the next-generation Internet, become a first mover, and won respect and attention from the international community," director of the expert committee of the China Education and Research Network (CERNET), Wu Jianping said.

CERNET2 is the biggest next-generation Internet network in operation in the world and connects 25 universities in 20 cities. The speed in the backbone network reaches 2.5 to 10 gigabits per second and connects the universities at a speed of 1-10 gigabits per second.

[. . .]


You can thank the wave of anti-intellectualism washing over this country. I'm willing to bet that in 20 years, we'll be calling this the Century of the Dragon. They're gonna out-sell us, out-buy us, and out-think us. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Day off

Long Island got blasted last night and it's still snowing here. 8 inches so far and they say it'll keep up for a couple more hours. Since I have a 30 mile drive to work, and the fact the plows haven't even considered coming down my street yet (nobody has considered coming down my street), my ass is staying in. Even the Long Island Expressway is closed in parts, and that's 2/3 of my trip. My life ain't worth it, just to fix somebody's piece of shit car. I'm getting old. Was a time I'd attempt it, just for the thrill of it. Puh, I might be crazy, not stupid . . . anymore.

Update: 08:00:

Just went up to the gas station to fuel up Mrs. F's Explorer. One of the local cops was parked in the station, sitting in his car. I went over to him to ask if he was stuck. He said no, just that they wrecked so many cars during the night, that spares are in short supply. He was sitting there until he got a call, instead of cruising around. It's shitty out, and they want the Mrs. to go to a meeting. Assholes. Thankfully, it's only a few miles from here. Oh, and just a note about the Explorer. This latest one of hers (2002) is one of the most sure-footed vehicles (civilian) I've ever driven in the snow. We've had it a little over 2 years and it has yet to let me down. Didn't even bother digging out my 2WD Ranger.

Reggie's in heaven . . . not

At least not according to Genia:

[. . .]

I almost decided to keep my mouth shut about White's anti-gay remarks, but after I made my post I did a quick check of a few popular conservative blogs and noticed the GOP soldiers are already embracing White and holding open the gates of heaven -- as if his anti-gay hatred has earned him a seat next to God. It hasn't. Hatred in any form doesn't earn you a seat next to God. It doesn't even earn you the last seat in the back of the bus to heaven.

I respect the dead. I feel bad for White's family; they have lost someone they all love; however. Yes, HOWEVER. I will not sit by and pretend the man was a saint because he played football and bashed homosexuals. I can guarantee you none of the GOP's soldiers will give a rat's ass for Chelsea Clinton when Bill Clinton or Hillary Clinton kick the bucket.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Frank Burns eats worms

Just watching a M*A*S*H* rerun and thinking: How many guys like Frank Burns are running the show in Washington?

Loose nukes . . . again

From NYT:

[. . .]

"This was the first time we had ever seen a loose copy of a bomb design that clearly worked," said one American expert, "and the question was: Who else had it? The Iranians? The Syrians? Al Qaeda?"

[. . .]

Nearly a year after Dr. Khan's arrest, secrets of his nuclear black market continue to uncoil, revealing a vast global enterprise. But the inquiry has been hampered by discord between the Bush administration and the nuclear watchdog, and by Washington's concern that if it pushes too hard for access to Dr. Khan, a national hero in Pakistan, it could destabilize an ally. As a result, much of the urgency has been sapped from the investigation, helping keep hidden the full dimensions of the activities of Dr. Khan and his associates.

There is no shortage of tantalizing leads. American intelligence officials and the I.A.E.A., working separately, are still untangling Dr. Khan's travels in the years before his arrest. Investigators said he visited 18 countries, including Syria, Saudi Arabia and Egypt, on what they believed were business trips, either to buy materials like uranium ore or sell atomic goods.

[. . .]


The one guy who we can prove peddled nuclear secrets to anyone with money, never received any 'justice'. He's sitting in his mansion under house arrest (that's real punishment), because Bush sold his soul to that little cutthroat in Pakistan. We should have bombed them into nonexistence along with the Taliban. Oh, that's right, we fucked that up too. But at least we got all them WMDs Saddam had. Oh, that's right . . .

Tweaks 2

Well, I'm done doing the major fucking with this site. A couple little tweaks over the next couple days. Comments welcome. Hopefully it's easy on old eyes (like mine).

And by the way, welcome back, Gord.

Truck Lag, Newsweek, and the 10 Undercovered Stories of '04

If you get the idea that this post and the two below seem to be sort of heavily relying on Newsweek,well, you're right. We drove home from the Coast yesterday, Christmas Day, hoping to avoid the worst of the traffic and give Mrs. G a day of rest before she goes back to the mines. If we did avoid the traffic, God help those who are driving North-South in California today.

Anyway, we collected our mail on the way home and there was a Newsweek. I was tired after eight hours in the saddle so all I did last night was read it. I thought there were some mighty good articles, so today, being in the throes of Truck Lag and consequently lazy, those are what I am posting.

Elinor Clift has a good article on the 10 undercovered stories of 2004. Read it. Her piece is only on line.
From Iraq casualties to health care to evolution, these are the issues that should have received more attention from the media in 2004.

Go read the whole issue. It's the year-end summary and has lots of good photos, cartoons, quotes and articles. Great in the bathtub while lettin' them tired-and-sore-making toxins out.

I hope to be back to normal by tomorrow. That probably raises more questions than it answers.

The Spirit of the Season

With all the brouhaha about "Merry Christmas" v. "Happy Holidays", Political Correctness and the secularization of Christmas, I think Anna Quinn nails it in Newsweek. Good piece. Read it.
"Humbug!" cried Scrooge before he got a chance to spend the night practicing a little empathy, and that's the best word to sum up the current hue and cry about the demise of Christmas. While cars zoomed by with trees lashed to their roofs and worshipers crowded the pews to listen as John the Baptist prepared the way, a wave of organized outrage suggested that Christmas is being driven out of existence. Who killed it? Liberal orthodoxy, secular humanism. Whenever people start throwing around science-fair phrases it's a bet that they want their opinions to sound inviolate because they are not.

So the silly annual examples are trotted out, the schools that censor Christmas carols, the townships that insist that the evergreen decorated with lights is a holiday tree. No one searches his soul about how we came to this pass. It has little to do with separation of church and state or liberal politics and everything to do with the way the blunt cudgel of Christianity has been heedlessly used, the tyranny of the majority. After years of Jewish parents' sitting through school concerts listening to the words "It is the night of our dear savior's birth," maybe oversensitivity was inevitable, since any other kind of sensitivity had been in short supply.

From the trials of witches in Salem to the talking-head evangelists of the present day, we have a rich tradition of faith-based bullying in this country (my emphasis). "The fact is, 96 percent of us celebrate Christmas," said a representative of a swat team of lawyers organized "to serve the body of Christ" by orchestrating challenges to inadequate public celebration. Humbug. One study estimates roughly 75 percent of Americans are Christian; the rest are Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, agnostics. "We must never allow our children to forget that this is a Christian nation," Jerry Falwell recently said from the pulpit. Humbug. Two out of three Americans in one poll said they oppose any attempt to make it so by constitutional amendment.

Christmas is being observed exactly where it ought to be, at homes, in our hearts, among friends and families. The modern movement to exhibit it in town squares and mall food courts is precisely what has led to the secularization of one of our most solemn holy days. That's why some Jewish leaders have been uncomfortable with reducing the Chanukah menorah to a dueling religious symbol, paired with a Christmas tree for the sake of equal time. Faith is not a photo op.

So if people are really worried about keeping Christ in Christmas, they might personally exhibit tolerance and charity, kindness and generosity. It is the ultimate exercise of style over substance to whine about the absence of "O Holy Night" at public events. The real point is in taking the lyrics to heart: "Truly he taught us to love one another/His law is love and his gospel is peace." And if saying "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas" offers someone who is not of your faith more comfort and joy—well, 'tis the season for both.

I like her sentiment, but I am finding it a real challenge to exhibit "tolerance and charity, kindness and generosity" to a certain 51% of the American people right now. Fuck 'em.

Peddling the Wrong Crisis

It seems Bush is good at inventing and installing crises where none existed before he showed up with his schemes to enrich his homeys at our expense. This article in the January 3 Newsweek by the Wall St. Editor, Allan Sloan.
President Bush's economic conference last week was a great show—if you like watching sales meetings. The conference, billed by the White House as a "frank discussion" about the president's economic program, was really a two-day infomercial that was short on "info,'' long on "mercial.'' Attendees, who had been screened by the White House, applauded at all the right places. Bush closed the conference with a dire warning about Social Security. "The longer we wait," he said, "the more expensive the solution becomes. The crisis is now."

I wasn't invited to the meeting, of course. But if I'd had a shot at the microphone, I'd have asked Bush why he thought Social Security was a crisis requiring immediate action but was ignoring a far larger and more immediate problem. To wit: the one he created a year ago when he pushed a Medicare prescription-drug plan through Congress without providing money to pay for it.

Everything's relative. Bush talked about Social Security's being a $10.4 trillion problem. That's how much you'd have to give Social Security today for it to continue paying benefits indefinitely under its current formula. But the shortfall in Bush's Medicare drug program is $17 trillion. In other words, the problem that Bush himself created a year ago is two thirds again as large as Social Security's problem (my emphasis). What's more, the drug plan starts costing taxpayers big bucks just a year from now, in 2006. We'll borrow it, of course. Social Security, for all its flaws, will take in more than enough cash to pay for itself for a dozen years even if nothing changes. So which is a "crisis"? A $17 trillion problem that starts next year, or a $10.4 trillion problem that starts in 2018? You don't need a math genius to answer that question.

I've written for years that Social Security has big long-term problems that need to be addressed, and the sooner the better. I praised Bush during the 2000 campaign for daring to broach the topic. My problem with Bush's proposal—or more accurately, with what I expect him to propose, since nothing formal has yet emerged—is that he's using fuzzy math to promise a free lunch. He rhapsodizes about private accounts—but doesn't mention that the trade-off is a cut of 40 or 50 percent in Social Security's guaranteed benefit.

If absolutely nothing changes, there will be a Social Security "crisis." But you can put the program back on course with a few tweaks—including small private accounts, if you like. You can raise the retirement age; modify the benefit formula; raise the wage base on which Social Security taxes are collected ($90,000 in 2005); trim payments for high-end folks like me. Bush, though, has ruled out many of these remedies because he wants to make good on his pledge not to change benefits or raise taxes.

Bush would put a big hole in the Social Security safety net at the very time that corporations are doing the same with pensions. Companies are dumping "defined benefit" pensions based on salaries and replacing them with plans that force employees to bear the risk of investing successfully. If we hadn't had a bull market spanning an entire generation, no one would dare propose letting tens of millions of unsophisticated investors risk Social Security money in the stock market. The bull, born in 1982, died almost five years ago, but fond memories of it linger.

Even as Bush urges average people to trust Social Security money to the market, big-time players like corporate pension funds are growing less optimistic about what the future holds. "The people running these funds know that the bull market's over, and they have been reducing their earnings estimates for the past three years," says Chris McNickle, a managing director of Greenwich Associates. General Motors, one of America's most highly regarded pension managers, has trimmed its holdings of U.S. stocks and bonds. "We wanted to reduce our exposure to large swings in the market," says GM spokesman Jerry Dubrowski.

If Bush really wants to have a meeting of the minds about Social Security, he might consider talking with people who have views different than his. And he might want to do something about his prescription-drug program before it eats us all alive.

To kinda sum it up so my little pea brain can understand it: Bush gave away the store on Seniors' prescription benefits, in a manner that only benefits his Big Pharma buddies, and installed a $17 Trillion crisis where none existed which starts to impoverish the American people in the next year or two, while at the same time he is going to "fix" a crisis that doesn't start for twelve years by giving away what's left of the store to his Wall Street buddies so they can start impoverishing the American people in the next year or two. That sound about right?

I guess Bush feels he has to get our money into his pals' hands before the '06 elections or he won't get the chance.

As far as Bush talking with people whose views differ from his, fat fucking chance.

The asshole has the "moral values" of a Snake-Oil salesman.

Christmas reading

For those interested: Chapter 6 of Empires is up at creativity . . .

Also, I'm gonna be doing a little screwing with the template here today. Got some issues with this one, namely too many Java script problems. So bear with me.

Inauguration Schedule

From Jesus' General:

[. . .]

9:00 A. M. - Catholic League president William Donohue delivers the invocation, asking the Lord to smite the anal-sex loving Jews in Hollywood.

9:30 - Donald Rumsfeld uses an AT4 Light Anti-Armor Weapon to destroy a tank, thus proving his contention that armoring Humvees is not all that important. The families of any attendees killed during this demonstration will receive a thank you letter personally stamped with Sec. Rumsfeld's signature by an E-4 in the Pentagon's mail office.

10:00 - Alberto Gonzalez does an interpretive dance based on his torture memos.

10:30 - Secretary of State nominee Condoleeza Rice pays tribute to her husband by reading an original poem called, "I Guess They Weren't Kidding When They Said that Bin Laden was determined to attack inside the U.S."

[. . .]


Funny stuff.