Monday, June 11, 2018
TRUMP: RUSSIA DESERVES TO BE ALLOWED BACK IN G7
For making him President.
Prison Reform Moving Ahead Quickly in Washington
Hope to have a bill passed before everyone goes to prison.
President Makes Enemies Out of Mexico, Canada, Germany, France, Italy, Japan, Britain
Before meeting with his good friend Kim Jong-un.
EPA Scales Back Restrictions on Toxic Chemicals
Rationale: If you outlaw toxic chemicals only outlaws will have toxic chemicals.
Posted by Gordon at 11:48
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Monday, June 4, 2018
Kim Kardashian Visits Oval Office
She's there to lend the office some gravitas.
Trump's Lawyers Argue He's Too Busy to Answer Mueller's Questions
Golf, enraging presidents of friendly countries, colluding with enemies to fix elections, arranging hush money payments for sex scandals, lying, cheating, stealing, monetizing his presidency all very time-consuming.
Trump's Immigration Plan Keeps Whites in Majority 5 More Years Than Projected
Time needed by Republicans to finish transferring all the nation's wealth to six privileged families.
New York Times: California's Economy Has Skyrocketed, But Paralyzed by Traffic Gridlock, High Housing Costs
Made tolerable by legalized marijuana, great weather, right to die legislation.
Posted by Gordon at 12:11
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Monday, May 21, 2018
40 MILLION WATCH PRINCE HARRY MARRY AMERICAN MEGHAN MARKLE
All of Britain cheers break from centuries of inbreeding.
Roger Stone: Trump Might Not Run Again in 2020
If he makes himself President for Life.
Michael Flynn Has Nothing But High Praise for Trump in New Book
Titled Pardon Me, tome is in stores now.
You can respect the office without having to respect the scumbag who occupies it.
Posted by Gordon at 12:43
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Monday, May 14, 2018
NRA Names Oliver North as Their Next President
Congratulations pour in from Iran, Nicaragua.
“Melania” Moves Up Quickly Among Most Popular Baby Names
Still trails current leader: Stormy.
Incels, “Involuntary Celibate” Men, Latest Angry Social Movement
Feel discriminated against just because they're assholes.
Mormon Church Ends Association With Boy Scouts
Catholic Church says it's ready to step right in.
Posted by Gordon at 12:36
Saturday, May 12, 2018
AXS TV Concerts
Published on May 7, 2018
Shot on January 10, 2015, at the Dar Constitution Hall in Washington DC, this concert features performances by Emmylou Harris and tons of other great artists! Premieres May 13th on AXS TV.
Thanks to AXS TV Concerts.
Monday, May 7, 2018
Republicans Have Run 13,000 Ads Against Hillary Clinton This Year
Seems to be working since she's still not president.
Washington Post: Trump Passes 3,000 Lie Mark Since He Took Office
Note: oft-repeated “no collusion” only counts once.
Facebook Introduces Dating App for its 2 Billion Users
Meet the Russian troll of your dreams.
Despite Budget Cuts, Search Continues for Signs of Intelligent Life
Only difference: telescopes now aimed at Nation's Capital.
Posted by Gordon at 12:54
Saturday, May 5, 2018
Long one. Enjoy.
From YouTube comments:
From YouTube comments:
6 hours ago
01 I Don't Want To Talk About It Now/02 I Ain't Living Long Like This/03 Red Dirt Girl/04 One Big Love/05 Love Hurts/06 Orphan Girl/07 Deeper Well/08 Boy From Tupelo/09 Wheels/10 Born To Run/11 The Maker/12 Boulder To Birmingham/13 Get Up John
Thanks to Larry Musicman.
Monday, April 30, 2018
Survey: Trump Voters Driven By Fear of Losing Status, Not Economic Hardship
“Make America Great Again for White People” too many words to fit on a hat.
Amazon-Owner Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin to Begin Sending Humans to Space Next Year
Those willing to pay for Prime can return in two days.
“Pharma Bro” Martin Shkreli Now in Federal Prison
Selling cigarettes for $500 apiece.
Bob Dylan Introduces Own Brand of Whiskey
It will compete with Willie Nelson's own brand of marijuana and Bill Cosby's own brand of Quaaludes.
Monday, April 23, 2018
Readers of National Enquirer One of Most Supportive of Trump's Campaign, Says Tabloid's Owner
They like Trump, and they hope aliens who abducted Elvis return him at once.
Trump Hires Giuliani, Whom He Has Long Admired
For having balls to move his mistress into the mayor's mansion while his wife was still living there.
Ted Cruz, Called “Lyin'” Ted Cruz by Trump, Pens Glowing Tribute to Him for Time
Apparently also agrees his wife should wear a bag over her head and his father conspired to kill Kennedy.
Ex-New Jersey Governor Christie's Official Portrait Costing State $85,000, Three Times More Than Predecessors
Artist says he needs three times as much canvas, paint.
Posted by Gordon at 12:46
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Monday, April 16, 2018
Trump World Tower in Manhattan Has 72 Floors, But Lists 90 Floors in The Elevator to Make It Appear Higher
Trump's I.Q. is 72, but he lists it as 90 to make himself look smarter.
Heinz Introduces Mayochup, Combining Mayonnaise and Ketchup
Follows failed rollout of Retard, combination of relish and mustard.
CBO Projects Massive Spike in Deficit, Debt Under Trump Due to GOP Tax Bill
Biggest increase since invention of credit in 17th century.
Louisiana State Senate Defeats Bill to Raise Minimum Age to Purchase Assault Weapons from 18 to 21
Lowers age for marrying your cousin from fourteen to twelve.
Posted by Gordon at 11:52
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Monday, April 9, 2018
Mueller Tells Trump He's Not a Target Yet
The paint's still drying on the bulls-eye.
Sinclair Embarrassed as All Its News Anchors Read From Same Script
Owner explains network merely trying to promote upcoming presentation of The Stepford Wives.
“Roseanne” Producer Urges Fans to Ignore Star's Hitler Photo Shoot
Unless it's the only reason they're watching.
Elon Musk: “God-Like” AI Could Doom Mankind to Eternity of Robot Dictatorship
Could be better than what we have now.
Posted by Gordon at 12:40
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Monday, April 2, 2018
Kim Jong-un Takes Luxurious, Bulletproof “Mystery Train” to China, Meets With Xi
Trump furious, wants his own mystery train.
Majority of Americans Not Seeing Any Change to Their Paychecks
But their boss just got a new Bentley.
In Wake of Successful “Roseanne” Debut, Networks Mull Other Revivals
Like “Amos 'n Andy.”
Russian Propaganda Video Shows Multiple Nuclear Warheads Descending on Florida
It's quickly put to use by Alabama Tourism Board.
Posted by Gordon at 11:39
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Monday, March 26, 2018
Trump Imposes $60 Billion in Tariffs on China, Just Like He Promised His Base
Next: locking up Hillary.
As Boomers Age, Home Health Worker 3rd Fastest-Growing Job
Right behind marijuana delivery man.
Trump Proposes Cutting Funds For Scientific Research
Plan hailed by the Flat Earth Society, Friends of Coal, American Adults Who Believe in Santa Claus, and Densa.
MLB: Red Sox, Yankees to Play Two Games in London in 2019
Despite concern cricket fans will find baseball annoyingly fast and stay home.
Posted by Gordon at 12:41
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Monday, March 19, 2018
Trump Fires Cabinet Member Who Called Him “Fucking Moron”
Not the one who called him “dumber-than-dirt douchebag” or the one who called him “shit-for-brains asswipe.”
Studies: Incompetent Men More Often Seen as Leaders Than Competent Women
Study based on results of last election.
Republican Report on Russia Finds No Collusion
All depends on what definition of “no” is.
Wall Street Journal: Wells Fargo Paid CEO Timothy Sloan $17.4 Million Last Year
One dollar for every customer he cheated.
Posted by Gordon at 12:27
Saturday, March 17, 2018
Monday, March 12, 2018
House Republicans Furious Over Tariffs
Fear price of tinfoil hats will skyrocket.
EU Threatens Retaliatory Tariffs on Harley-Davidsons, Bourbon, Levis
Our only exports.
Trump to Consider Elephant Trophy Imports on “Case-By-Case” Basis
Will apply same protocol to trophy wife imports.
Study: Fake News Travels Farther, Faster Than Real News
But fake study concluding just the opposite reaches more people sooner.
Posted by Gordon at 13:08
Saturday, March 10, 2018
Interview after the music.
Published on Mar 5, 2018
This was the first TV Performance Emmylou did with her Acustic Band The NashRamblers in 1990. August 12. .. Emmylou and the band was promoting her new album «BRAND NEW DANCE»
Thanks to Terje Morewood.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
REPORT: TRUMP REFERS TO SESSIONS AS “MR. MAGOO”
Like Magoo, Sessions sees nothing, somehow survives.
Trump Tariffs on Imported Steel, Aluminum Angers Trade Partners
Many threaten retaliatory tariffs on American-made products, if we ever start making them again.
Source: Trump Privately Expressed Desire That All Drug Dealers be Executed
Publicly welcomes Big Pharma to White House.
Report: Hate Groups Increased by 4% in First Year of Trump's Presidency
Not including groups who hate Trump.
Posted by Gordon at 12:25
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Monday, February 26, 2018
Trump Endorses Romney
Grateful “choke artist” thanks “con man and a fraud.”
Survey: 81% of Women Have Experienced Sexual Harassment Or Assault
The rest have nondisclosure agreements.
McDonald's Serves 1.2 Billion Happy Meals Worldwide Each Year
And three salads.
??? ~~ News Quiz ~ ???
Robert Mueller is closing in on Donald Trump like:A ) Donald Jr. with an AR-15 on a deer.B ) Jared Kushner and a Russian gangster on a money laundering scheme.C ) A shark smelling blood in the water.D ) Melania on a fur coat.Hint: “all of the above” is an acceptable option.
Posted by Gordon at 12:44
Saturday, February 24, 2018
Monday, February 19, 2018
Intel Chiefs: Russia Plotting To Sway 2018 Elections
Already meeting with top Trump officials.
President Now Says He's “Totally Against Domestic Violence”
Except when it's the victim's fault.
Report: Steve Bannon Considering Presidential Run
On the Monster Raving Loony ticket.
New Doglike Robot Can Open Doors
Breakthrough, funded by dogs, means we're no longer needed.
Posted by Gordon at 12:10
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Monday, February 12, 2018
United States Set to Borrow $1 Trillion, 84% Jump from Last Year
Trump's plan: stiff creditors, declare bankruptcy.
NASA Releases Most Distant Photo Ever
Taken a few seconds before big bang.
San Diego: 9-Year-Old Girl Scout Sells 300 Boxes of Cookies in One Hour in Front of Marijuana Dispensary
Currently being recruited by Morgan Stanley.
Michelle Bachmann: God Doesn't Want Me to Run for Senate
Told her she's “nutty as a fruitcake.”
Posted by Gordon at 11:56
Saturday, February 10, 2018
Monday, February 5, 2018
Report: Trump Asked Rosenstein if He Was “On My Team”
Same question Putin asked Trump.
NFL: Microchips in Every Game Ball, But League Resists Putting Them in Helmets
Afraid they'll be damaged by frequent impact.
Monopoly Introduces New “Cheater's Edition”
Boardwalk replaced by Trump Tower.
Study: Americans Staying Home More, Saving Energy
Boarding up windows, shutting off gas, electricity, eating cat food.
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Monday, January 29, 2018
DOOMSDAY CLOCK MOVES CLOSEST TO MIDNIGHT SINCE 1950'S
When parents thought rock and roll would destroy the world.
Report: First Lady Living in Nearby Hotel Since Affair Revelations
Now fears manager of Motel 6 will out her to ICE agents.
Russia: Putin Opposition Leader Jailed Two Months Before Elections
In U.S., Oprah, Joe Biden, and The Rock are all detained.
Senate Democrats Agree to End Shutdown Based on Promise by Mitch McConnell
He promises each one of them a path to citizenship.
Posted by Gordon at 11:50
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
Shutdown News: Three-Fifths of White House Staff Placed on Temporary Leave
Doctor Finds Trump in Excellent Mental Health
He's not deranged, just evil.
National Health Alert as People Eat Tide Pods in Viral “Tide Pod Challenge”
Often at one of Tide's newly opened laundromat/restaurants.
Trump Credited for Successful Talks Between North, South Korea
Whenever there's a snag, someone shouts “dotard” and everybody laughs.
Posted by Gordon at 12:05
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
2017 Most Expensive Year on Record for Natural Disasters
Narrowly beating out former record holder, Noah's Flood (2348 BC).
Climatologist: California Has Four Seasons — Drought, Fire, Flood, Mudslides
In leap years, also Earthquake.
Trump Says U.S. Sold Norway “F-52s,” Planes That Only Exist in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Norway cancels its check.
Eleven Months Early, Webster's Names Shithole as 2018's Word of the Year
“Why wait,” says spokesman.
Posted by Gordon at 12:06
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Monday, January 8, 2018
Trump: Other Countries Not Laughing at Us Anymore
They're staring, silently, jaws dropped wide open.
Fire and Fury Author: 100% of Everyone Close to Trump Thinks He's Unfit for Office
And 74% of those watching at home.
Border Wall Prototypes Cover Wide Range of Options
From Stalinist Impressionism to Franco Abstract.
New Finding: Prehistoric Humans Left Africa 60,000 Years Earlier Than Thought
Fled to the suburbs.
Posted by Gordon at 11:49
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
New York Times: Papadopolous More Than Mere “Coffee Boy”
He may have roasted, brewed entire pot.
Questions Remain About Pence's Role in Russiagate Coverup
What didn't he know and when didn't he know it?
Predictions for 2018
Madame Blavinsky: “North Korea will launch the newly named Dotard-III missile just to piss off you know who.”
Cassandra: “Artificial intelligence will realize it doesn't need us anymore and next thing you know we're being treated like cows.”
Posted by Gordon at 11:47