Tactic: In addition to claiming McCain invented the Blackberry, assert that he also invented the wheel, sliced bread, fire, the missionary position, whiskey, apple pie, sliders, cleavage, Beanie Babies, oxygen, blow jobs, sunlight, bikinis, pasteurization, nuggies, the handshake, ice cream, poll dancing, Penicillin, the wave, hot dogs, the Theory of Relativity, beer nuts, New Journalism, indoor plumbing, low-rise jeans, Method Acting, rap, Twister, funnel cake, the printing press, soft pretzels, the phrase "dude," the color blue, moving pictures, "bringing sexy back," nougat, and baseball.
Strategy: Highlights McCain's superior record of accomplishment. Bonus: no time left in the campaign season for media to fact-check effectively.
Tactic: Palin speaks only in tongues for remainder of campaign season.
Strategy: Couldn't be worse than what she's said in English.
Aravosis at AmericaBlog noticed this one…I guess that McCain should thank his lucky stars that most GOP are low info voters, so hopefully not many of them picked up on this:
This, two weeks after he said that Spain was in Latin America. Here’s the video from McCain’s economic forum that just took place today - Ben Smith has the transcript:
I think I see McCain's 'foreign policy expertise' - everybody but us is goddam foreigners and they're all out to get us so be afraid. Doesn't matter where they are.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a traitor and an idiot. Also, my mother should have aborted me and left me in a Dumpster, but since she didn't, I should "off" myself.
Those are just a few nuggets randomly selected from thousands of e-mails written in response to my column suggesting that Sarah Palin is out of her league and should step down.
The picture is this: Anyone who dares express an opinion that runs counter to the party line will be silenced. That doesn't sound American to me, but Stalin would approve. Readers have every right to reject my opinion. But when we decide that a person is a traitor and should die for having an opinion different than one's own, then we cross into territory that puts all freedoms at risk. (I hear you, Dixie Chicks.)
Our day of reckoning, indeed, may be upon us. Between war and economic collapse, we have enormous challenges. It will take the best of everyone to solve them. That process begins minimally with a commitment to engage in civil discourse and a cease-fire in the war against unwelcome ideas.
Now you see how your own side rolls, Ms. Parker. Lovely, huh?
Speaking as an ol' Jarhead, the only meaningful 'cease fire' happens when there is no return fire coming from the other side because they're out of ammo, surrender, or best of all, they're all dead.
Da wimmens is unloadin' big time on McBimbo. It's Rebecca Traister's turn in a 'recommended read':
Everyone seems to be oozing sympathy for the fumbling vice-presidential nominee. Please. Cry me a freaking river.
I guess I'm one cold dame, because while Palin provokes many unpleasant emotions in me, I just can't seem to summon pity, affection or remorse.
Don't worry Sister, she kinda numbs me out too. It's for our own mental protection.
When you stage a train wreck of this magnitude -- trying to pass one underqualified chick off as another highly qualified chick with the lame hope that no one will notice -- well, then, I don't feel bad for you.
When you treat women as your toys, as gullible and insensate pawns in your Big Fat Presidential Bid -- or in Palin's case, in your Big Fat Chance to Be the First Woman Vice President Thanks to All the Cracks Hillary Put in the Ceiling -- I don't feel bad for you.
When you don't take your own career and reputation seriously enough to pause before striding onto a national stage and lying about your record of opposing a Bridge to Nowhere or using your special-needs child to garner the support of Americans in need of healthcare reform you don't support, I don't feel bad for you.
When you don't have enough regard for your country or its politics to cram effectively for the test -- a test that helps determine whether or not you get to run that country and participate in its politics -- I don't feel bad for you.
When your project is reliant on gaining the support of women whose reproductive rights you would limit, whose access to birth control and sex education you would curtail, whose healthcare options you would decrease, whose civil liberties you would take away and whose children and husbands and brothers (and sisters and daughters and friends) you would send to war in Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Russia and wherever else you saw fit without actually understanding international relations, I don't feel bad for you.
Palin is tough as nails. She will bite the head off a moose and move on. So, no, I don't feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for women who have to live with what she and her running mate have wrought.
I think Palin was the perfect choice for McCain, but then, I want him to lose.
Does any of this sound familiar? It should. Governor and Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin is the Gileadian "Aunt" manifested. Her sudden emergence onto the American political scene, accompanied by a burst of enthusiasm on the part of many American women, is a surreal example of life imitating art. Much of Palin's rhetoric, tactics and personal philosophy seem to be taken directly from the Auntie training manual. By accepting the position on the GOP ticket despite her astonishing lack of qualifications, Palin signaled that she was prepared to be used - on the basis of her sex alone - in exchange for the promise of status and power. Refer to Palin's RNC convention speech, which was mostly a fawning homage to McCain's patriotism and leadership, sprinkled with condescending references to Obama as "our opponent." Although the lines were delivered with Palin's own folksy vernacular and over-enunciation, it was not Palin, but McCain - or more accurately, the GOP elders at whose feet he finds himself on election eve - who wrote the speech and whose voice echoed through the hall that night in St. Paul. Women who find themselves drawn to Palin because they think she epitomizes the classic "woman who has it all" might want to take a closer look. Sarah Palin was picked for the ticket solely because of - not despite - the fact that she is female. By keeping her sequestered from the media, McCain has confirmed he does not have faith in an unscripted Palin's ability to represent the campaign to the world. By going along with it, Palin is telling us that she's perfectly fine with being controlled by her male superiors. And by portraying herself as the candidate of the empowered woman (while simultaneously promoting policy that is openly hostile to the interests of working and middle-class American women), she reveals the sad truth about how little progress we've actually made.
"Can anyone say with a straight face that Sarah Palin is the best and the brightest we have in this country? Would anyone dare insult America like that?"
COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?
PALIN: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media —
COURIC: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.
PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.
COURIC: Can you name any of them?
PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news.
I'm sorry, but my tolerance for stupid is excruciatingly low. It's one thing to be stupid and have a regular job, but to be an idiot and intend to be one heartbeat away from the Presidency of the United States is unconscionable. We've had 8 years of Moron-in-Chief and look what it's got us.
Why is it, in this country, we think being a dumbass is a good thing?
And by the way, Katie Couric is no bright light either. If you can't hold your own with her, you might as well give up.
And another reason people telling me they have a college degree doesn't impress me. The Chimp has an MBA, McLame went to Annapolis, and Palin has a degree in journalism.
Iceland has just bailed out Glitnir Bank, with the government putting in 600 million euros — $859 million — in return for a 75% stake.
Iceland has only a bit more than 300,000 people, about 1/1000th the population of the United States. So this was, per capita, the equivalent of an $850 billion bailout here.
Notice, by the way, that it was an equity injection rather than a purchase of bad debt; I approve. [my em]
So do I. Think someone in Washington will listen and take notice? Me neither.
The New Republic’s Christopher Orr observes, “You know things are getting dicey when the RNC goes on the air with an ad attacking the very bailout plan that, 24 hours ago, was the centerpiece of John McCain’s claim of economic leadership.”
Orr says that this shows that the “RNC either isn’t coordinating with the McCain campaign or is doing so very poorly.”
With Wall Street's fate hanging in the balance, and with Sarah Palin's incoherence sparking interest in Thursday's vice presidential debate, it was easy to overlook a major story that got less attention than it deserved yesterday. The Justice Department released a nearly 400-page report with this jaw-dropping bottom line:
"Our investigation found significant evidence that political partisan considerations were an important factor in the removal of several . . . U.S. attorneys."
Jaw-dropping indeed! That Bush'sJustice Legal Cover-up Department would even come close to admitting what we all knew!
In releasing the report, Attorney General Michael Mukasey announced that he had ordered a new investigation to "pursue this case wherever the facts and the law require," including possible criminal charges. By most accounts, Mukasey has taken pains to cleanse Justice of the partisan taint that Gonzales left behind. Whatever ultimately comes of this disgraceful episode, however, we already know enough to put it in context.
The people who have been running our government for the past eight years have nothing but contempt for government. They believe only in politics and ideology, in that order. First, win elections by any means necessary. Second, once in a position to act in the public good, govern with the ideological conviction that government is either irrelevant or harmful to the public interest.
You can draw a straight line between firing U.S. attorneys for political reasons and turning a blind eye to the ruinous excesses of Wall Street. What's impartial justice against the possibility of gaining political advantage? Why shackle the hallowed free market with government oversight?
And, if you want to draw the line a little further, who cares if the prospective vice president appears to know nothing about anything?
Well, I do. There's a hell of a lot more than one thing this criminal administration has done, is doing, and will do to 'care' about, not to mention their running dogs in Congress and our fraidy-cat yellow ones.
Gov. Sarah Palin will now spend two and a half days near Sedona, Arizona, to prepare for Thursday's debate, instead of prepping in St Louis, as originally planned.
Sarah Palin will be at John McCain's rustic creek side home outside Sedona for what a top aide calls "debate camp."
Click here to be transported to Sedona's only cyber-vortex. Explanation of vortexes here.
This is the Hail Mary move of all time! The McRovians are hoping two and a half days under the influence of Spiritual Energy will get The Flight Attendant From Hell ready for prime time without a teleprompter. Fat chance.
I'm hoping for more. I hope the ancient spirits kick the fundie crap right outta her vacuum brain and she emerges from the vortex as a real New Age Sedona Woo-Woo - bare feet, no bra, tinfoil hat, crystals, hairy armpits, and reeking of patchouli oil and incense. Not to mention the sorta glazed eyes and give-a-shit demeanor of Those Who Have Seen. Put that on TV!
So what we now have is non-functional government in the face of a major crisis, because Congress includes a quorum of crazies and nobody trusts the White House an inch.
As a friend said last night, we’ve become a banana republic with nukes.
As we speak, Uncle Sam's Canoe Club is monitoring a pirated Ukrainian ship loaded with Russian-style T-72 tanks off the coast of Somalia. I say 'Russian-style' because the tank has been in service since 1971 and has many variants from all over Eastern Europe and elsewhere, so no telling where they originated without more info.
There is a little confusion as to whether the destination was Kenya or Sudan, but either way I think these tanks were primarily to be used in a crowd-control mode around whichever presidential palace.
There were also unconfirmed reports of two other Western warships close to the captured Ukrainian ship, the MV Faina. Russia said it was also sending a naval vessel from the Atlantic to Somalia.
Heh. Note to the Suez Canal gatekeepers: You will see the Russian's bow wave with just enough time to throw open the gates and GTFO of the way! I recommend you do not try to collect the toll. Maybe they got exact change...
A spokesman for the pirates which seized the ship and its 21 Ukrainian, Lithuanian and Russian crew said on Sunday that the Faina was surrounded by three foreign warships, but he said his men were ready to fight to the death to protect their catch.
My first thought was that the tanks' destination should be the sea floor directly beneath the ship's present position, but our guys can't very well sink a Ukrainian ship with Ukrainian, Lithuanian and Russian crew members.
We will see what the Russian skipper thinks about this.
Keeping in mind that the foremost purpose of the world's navies is to protect commerce, I think the Somali pirates are well on their way to Paradise, perhaps by a joint infusion of Russian and American ordnance. Wouldn't that be something?!
As for the tanks, after doing a little research, I say let 'em reach their destination. Watch what happens when they shoot one of these things:
Fuckin' hilarious!
Also, go see the Eastern European counterparts of Fixer & Gordon road test a T-72.
I probably shouldn't find this deal as entertaining as I do, or at least admit to it, but I'm just plain sick of McCain, Palin, the Bailout, etc. and require a little harmless diversion.
