Staten Island Chuck

I like him better than Punxatawney Phil because Chuck bit Mayor Bloomberg (like every good New Yorker should) a few years back. Every year we wait to see not if Chuck sees his shadow or not but whether he will bite the Mayor again.

...

"No shadow, no shadow," Bloomberg said, donning the infamous thick leather gloves he began wearing ever since Chuck, formally known as Charles G. Hogg, chomped on his finger two Groundhog Days ago. "Spring is coming!"

News of the Bizarre That Almost Makes Sense

Bill seeks to let one-armed people use switchblades

State Rep. Sheryl Briggs, D-Mexico*, said Friday that she's asking Maine to comply with a federal law that allows individuals with one arm to own or carry any switchblade knife with a blade of 3 inches or less.

*Mexico, Maine, is an old mill town. Them old down-east maquiladoras were dangerous places to work. Probly lotsa folks missing limbs. Heh.

But seriously, folks, there are flaws in this proposed law.

First of all, most, not all but most switchblades are flimsy pieces of shit that won't hold an edge and are good only for stabbing. I'm sure that's not the usage the nice Democratic lady had in mind. She's just trying to help lefties, so to speak, and doesn't know much about knives outside the kitchen.

As a mechanic/homeowner/general all 'round guy, I've found myself in the position of a one-armed person many times - you've got aholt of something with one hand that needs to be cut and you need ta out with yer folder, open it, and do the job with the other. With a little practice and some judicious easing of the fit of the blade in the handle ahead of time (valve grinding compound works well), you can open it easily with your thumb. When you are done, operate the release with the same thumb, close it against your leg and put it back in the belt sheath.

Alternatively, put a piece of string inside the handle so the tip of the blade protrudes slightly out of the handle. You can then open the knife by catching the tip on the seam of your pants leg with a lateral swiping motion (be careful if you're wearing shorts). This won't work on knives that have been used as screwdrivers and no longer have a tip. Heh. In experienced hands, this method is lightning fast.

These days, opening a pocket or belt knife with one hand is easier than ever. My Buck Bantam has ambidextrous thumb studs which make my old-school methods obsolete.

There are other one-handed knives available. I do not recommend butterfly knives to the one-armed, as a considerable amount of practice and skill is required to avoid having no hands (see one method). Heh. Also, they're illegal everywhere except, apparently, swap meets and the Phillipines.

Also, there are other one-handed knives such as the Smith & Wesson Out-The-Front Tanto and the German Paratrooper Folder and many others.

(Note to BudK: Keep them catalogs comin', boys! The American Flag Guitar Lighter with the lights that run up and down the neck is killer!)

Given the negative image of switchblades and the fashion faux pas of carrying one without the slicked-back pompadour and Cycle Champ jacket, I would suggest that Mexico, Maine, simply let its arm-challenged citizens carry fixed-blade sheath knives so they won't have to open them, or for the more Scottish amongst them, a wee dirk stuck in the top of the sock next to their wallet and smokes, or for the more Marine-oriented, a Ka-Bar, or...

Ah, fuck it, katanas, scimitars, kukris, cavalry swords, claymores, and bat'leths for everybody! See 'BudK' above. Heh.

Headline of the Day

Afghans can only watch in envy as Egypt revolts

On the one hand, uh-oh.

On the other, rise, goat humpers, and free yourselves! That would accomplish whatever mission it is we're there to do and we could leave.

To everything, spin, spin, spin...*

*Apologies to The Byrds.

This builds on Fixer's post below. The right wing is spinning the whole Egypt thing to their own purposes against Obama and toward any damn fool thing they want to do.

David Corn on the Obama Hate Machine (which I think is a poorly constructed term, but...):

The Egyptian crisis is far from over; Obama and his team can hardly be fully judged. But to date, they have represented the United States well. In fact, Republican leaders in Congress have not been complaining. Yet the Obama Hate Machine has seized on the Egyptian uprising as another opportunity to slam the president. Conservative columnist Dick Morris, who once upon a time was a consultant to President Bill Clinton, hammered Obama for failing to stand with Mubarak against Islamic "extremists" trying "to take over the country." Fox News contributor Ralph Peters blasted Obama for not sufficiently supporting the Egyptian protesters. The right-wing Washington Times editorial page slammed Obama for having "abrogated any leadership role in resolving the turmoil in Egypt," noting, "When the time calls for action, Mr. Obama sits on his hands." The newspaper suggested that Obama's moves would lead to al-Qaeda taking over Egypt. Andrew Breitbart's BigGovernment.com published a posting by Wayne Allyn Root, a leading libertarian, that predicted that the United States would soon be hit by Egyptian-style "riots, revolt in the streets, and economic paralysis" and that Obama "might turn out to be just as intolerant to dissent as Mubarak."

Then there's Glenn Beck. In his own bizarro fashion, Beck tied the rebellion in Egypt to radical forces in the United States and elsewhere that are scheming the demise of the United States:

"We have evidence of the uber-left, the anarchists and the communists and the socialists, the radicals, sowing the seeds and helping those in Egypt. All they want is more pressure on the United States. This isn't about the people there. This is about changing the globe. . . . The storm that I've talked about for so many years is here. The coming insurrection is here."

Oh, this is far beyond Barack Obama, he added. The uber-left and the Islamicists, he asserted, "are plotting together." Presumably to destroy the United States and take over the world -- and Obama's not doing anything to stop them. (He might be rooting for them!) Beck called on his followers to prepare for food riots in the United States. This is, of course, crazy talk. But it's the filter through which millions of Americans are viewing the historic events in Egypt.

The Obama Hate Machine never takes a vacation. But its eager exploitation of the uprising in Egypt cheapens the stirring images of those brave Egyptian citizens seeking democracy and the right of free expression. This is no surprise. There's always demagoguery to wage and paranoia to fuel.

As my response to the Quote of the Day just below, yes, sometimes Beck's followers and other teabaggers and right wing loonies are funny with their dorky hats and misspelled signs and deserve to be laughed at, right in their faces.

Other times, they should be taken as seriously as a two-step snake and dealt with pretty much the same way if they can't be avoided. They're dangerous.

Quote of the Day

Mr. Mass-transit:

I know that decadent coastal liberal elitists like myself aren't supposed to laugh at the True Patriot Americans who watch Glenn Beck's show, but really... If you're a genuine fan of the ravings of this lunatic then you deserve to be laughed at.

A thought ...

About this whole Egypt thing. There must be a lot of sphincters tightening in Tel Aviv and Washington.

Over the last couple days, in my flu-induced stupor, I've been trying to envision what could come to pass after Mubarak finally leaves. Both the US and Israel have been lulled into a false sense of security over the past 3 decades and I get the feeling everybody's running around with their hair on fire now that the collapse of the Mubarak/Sadat government has happened so quickly after so long. You can bet whatever becomes of Egypt, the next government won't be as friendly to the US and Israel and certainly not as receptive to our interests as Mubarak was.

I'm surprised the conservatives haven't gone full bore to turn the Muslim Brotherhood into the next al-Qaeda/Hamas/Hezbollah/Islamic Jihad etc.

Oops, silly me. It seems they've infiltrated us already.

Update:

And lo and behold, I'm watching James Baker on MSNBComcast right now referring to the Muslim Brotherhood as "enemies" and "radical Islamists" who will "attack Israel". The Neocons should be having a circle jerk right about now.

Nearly peed myself laughing when Baker said something about "protecting the democratic processes" in Egypt. To hear him say it, Mubarak was a friend to all, including furry woodland creatures.

Only in America ...

Seriously:

...

And then I thought about what kind of person, in the face of all this, would choose to honor a key architect and enabler of America’s torture regime as a “Defender of the Constitution.” You’d have to be an unfortunate combination: partisan, cynical, intellectually empty. You’d have to perceive of the Constitution primarily as a cheap prop in a public relations campaign, and be willing to exploit it that way. You’d have to be ignorant of irony and oblivious to Orwell.

...

That's all the Constitution is to conservatives, a cheap prop ... or toilet paper.

Heh ...

Stole this from our pal Jersey Guy's Facebook page. Jerry the Dog's automatic ball thrower.



I'd love something like this for my two monsters but that machine would be nothing but a pile o' parts in an hour.

Statement on Florida Court Ruling

From Ethan Rome, Director of HCAN:

“Judge Vinson gave Republican governors and attorneys general what they wanted, a decision that advances the GOP’s extremist agenda to return control of our health care to the insurance companies. This is judicial activism on steroids. Fortunately, the U.S. Supreme Court will have the final say on the legal challenge to the Affordable Care Act, and it has corrected such lower-court mistakes when other major laws like Social Security, the minimum wage law and the Voting Rights Act were passed. Two other federal district judges have already upheld the new health care law.

“With consumers already benefiting from the law, this litigation is really about the Republican Party protecting health insurance company profits at the expense of workingfamilies. The Republican politicians who marched in lockstep to bring this suit aren’t really interested in the new law’s individual-responsibility rule. This lawsuit is just another tactic in the Republican Party’s campaign to give our health care back to the insurance companies no matter what the cost.

“The American people will not allow the courts or the Congress to bring us back to the time when insurance companies could exclude people because of pre-existing conditions,drop people for getting sick, or let benefit caps force people with serious diseases into bankruptcy.”

The American people have nothing to say about it. The phrase in the statement that bears repeating is:

Fortunately, the U.S. Supreme Court will have the final say on the legal challenge to the Affordable Care Act

I'm not sure "fortunately" is the right choice of words what with this SCOTUS pretty much a wholly-owned subsidiary of Corporate Amerika. The right wing is doing its best to force this in front of The Supremes for just that reason.

Update:

The Rude Pundit weighs in:

[...] Because, see, the Supreme Court is probably going to be making a decision in 2012 on the Obama administration's appeal of Judge Rodger Vinson's decision that the entire Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act of 2010 be tossed aside like a used fuckrag. [...]

So the Rude Pundit would advise the White House to start prepping for what happens if the Supreme Court strikes down the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. That means more than just a few rallies by the president. That means that Democrats need to get on board, especially those who voted for it. Shit, it's gonna be used against Democrats in 2012, even if everyone who supported it ends up claiming they were victims of Kenyan hoodoo mind-control. Double down on that motherfucker. Make commercials with people who benefited from it. Run 'em on Fox "news" to twist the heads of the yahoos. It won't be difficult.

Wanna know why? Here's a real conversation between the Rude Pundit and an ultraconservative relative this month:

Go see.

...

Relative: So I guess I have to support it now.

Rude Pundit: Yeah, you do.

In other words, make it so that people fucking fear the Supreme Court overturning the law. Make it so that they're willing to vote out of office anyone who wants to take it away. Make it so that they're begging for the law to have a public option so that there's no question over the constitutionality of it (remember: we're prepping for a negative ruling). Make it so that the next Congress will have to fix it.

The anti-health reform forces scare people into thinking it's the beginning of communist tyranny fascistic Nazi Stalinism. Or some such shit. The counter-argument can't be, "No, that's silly." It has to be, "You'll fucking die without it."

Fuckin' A. Scare the crap out of 'em. That's the way the Repugs do it and they're used to it and it works.

Time to go, Hosni

Egypt’s military pledges it won’t use violence against protesters

Mubarak's toast.

Update:

Montag agrees.

Bolton: If Mubarak falls in Egypt, Israel should bomb Iran

Raw Story

Bolton, a neoconservative, has a long history of promoting military strikes on Iran.

No shit. If that neocon motherfucker wakes up in the morning, Israel should nuke Iran.

Let's hope neither happens.

2012 Republican presidential candidates all have flaws

Besides being Repuglican'ts, you mean? Imagine that! Chris Cillizza lays 'em out:

That's an emerging bit of conventional wisdom about the slow-forming GOP race. And it's right - except that it omits one very important fact: All - that's A-L-L - of the Republicans considering runs for the nomination carry at least one major flaw that could keep them from victory.
...

Let's take a look at the Achilles' heel of some of the best-known candidates:

Yada yada...

"The answer to the riddle lies in the future, not the past," he said. "Who can capture the imagination of Republican primary voters? That is the question."

First of all, if they had any imagination they wouldn't be Repugs.

Second, they don't need imagination. FOXPAC et al will tell them what opinion to have and whom to throw their vote away for.

Headline of the Day

Set your drink down. Just sayin'...

Michele Bachmann Delivers Tea Party Address to Egyptian Protestors

We're Better off Than Egypt -- Right?

RJ Eskow

A tourist who was interviewed last night from Cairo spoke for millions of his fellow Americans when he said he couldn't imagine living a country like Egypt. It is hard, isn't it?

Imagine: A government run by and for the rich and powerful. Leaders who lecture others about "sacrifice" and deficits while cutting taxes for corporations and the wealthy. A system so corrupt that rich executives can break the law without fear of being punished. Increasing poverty and hardship even as the stock market rises. And now, a nation caught between a broken political system and a populist movement that could be hijacked by religious extremists at any moment.

No wonder they're upset! Why, we'd be marching in the streets too.

Heh. Americans are waaaay too lazy. A lot of 'em can barely roll off the couch to wave their guns around.

Egypt's been plagued by the same contradictory "cut taxes and reduce the deficit" logic we're hearing in the US. And why not? It serves the same web of financial interests.

Wall Street banks have a record of chronic criminality in the United States, yet continue to maintain a level of political power and influence that would look familiar to any Egyptian.

Egyptians face much greater hardships and dangers than Americans do, and it would be wrong to minimize either their difficulties or their bravery. But while we shouldn't trivialize our differences, it's also wrong to ignore our similarities. If we do, it lets our nation's leaders do far less than they should be doing to create real economic and political change. It allows us to admire the Egyptian people without challenging our own consciences. It lets us admire their activism without seeing the need for action here at home.

Sometimes it's easier to admire courage in others than it is to seek it in ourselves.

No 'sometimes' about it. Always.

RJ waxes a little hyperbolic, but not all that much. Go read the rest.

Me ...

And Dr. Fez:

Joints hurt - check
Back hurts - check
balls hurt - check


Hooray, the Flu has arrived!

Why ...

Are this man and his henchmen still free? Bush and Cheney have as much as confessed to war crimes, yet they're allowed to run around free to make even more money:

...

He followed it up by saying that he was glad the Congress decided to pass The Patriot Act and renew it again no matter which party was in the majority and defended his administration's spying and torture, or as he called it "enhanced interrogation" that he claimed was necessary to keep us safe from terrorism. He also claimed that The Patriot Act assured that civil liberties were not undermined.

...

On right-wing lying and paranoia

Good excerpt from the TPM Book Club.

From the late 1940s to the late 1980s, the story that drove conservative politics was that of the Cold War. It was the story of an epic conflict between the good guys -- the God-fearing, freedom-loving, capitalist United States of America -- and the bad guys -- the atheistic, repressive, communist USSR. Every political event, from antiwar protests to the United Nations to national health care, could be understood within the frame of this conflict.

As the Cold War began to dissipate in the 1980s, a new breed of conservatives sought to replace this story with one called the Culture War. This was the story of an epic conflict between the good guys -- the God-fearing, freedom-loving, capitalist "ordinary" Americans -- and the bad guys -- the elitist, secularist, socialist, tyrannical liberals and their black, gay, and Latino allies. Every political event, from environmental regulation to financial crisis to national health care, could be understood within the frame of this conflict. Many of those promoting this story explicitly compared it to the Cold War.

Yeah, they ran outta commies to blame so they had to make some outta whomever was handy - US.

The Culture War story has been particularly appealing to many conservatives because of the way that it vindicates an American social group that had fallen into disfavor. After the civil rights movement, racial and religious tolerance became preeminent virtues in modern American society. As social barriers from race to gender to sexual orientation fell like dominoes, the media disparaged and ridiculed racists, xenophobes, and religious dogmatists who fought the changes.

The Culture War narrative turns this modern worldview upside down. In this story, white, Christian conservatives are the victims; liberals and minorities are the intolerant bigots who oppress them. That's the reason that Fox News has spent so much time presenting President Obama, Justice Sotomayor, and a host of black, Latino, or gay officials as anti-white, anti-Christian, and anti-American.

The election of a black president did not create the extreme right-wing backlash any more than the recession did. Rather, Obama's election fit neatly into a narrative that has been steadily gaining popularity for thirty years and thus stoked a fire that had long been burning and spreading through both economic booms and busts. Until the country can shake itself free from this narrative, the paranoia that we have seen the past two years will continue to seduce millions of Americans.

In other words, when pigs fly.

Pay China And Screw The Old Folks

Josh Marshall

This is a fascinating piece about a new GOP plan to avoid raising the debt ceiling. The idea is to pay the Chinese government -- and other foreign lenders -- first and withhold payments to Social Security beneficiaries and other obligations to US citizens.

If passed, Toomey's plan would require the government to cut large checks to foreign countries, and major financial institutions, before paying off its obligations to Social Security beneficiaries and other citizens owed money by the Treasury -- that is, if the U.S. hits its debt ceiling. [...]

The debt won't be all that hits the roof. Watch for a whole buncha gray haired and wrinkled 2d Amendment remedies.

Get Internet Access When Your Government Shuts It Down

PCWorld

Does your government have an Internet kill-switch? Read our guide to Guerrilla Networking and be prepared for when the lines get cut.

Interesting. I'm glad someone's thinking about it.

Should you be interested...

Al Jazeera English

Related:

I Want My AJE

“We’re fairly sure our programming is of interest,” said Stebbins, side-stepping a bit. “We knew that we’d be forced to look for non-traditional means of distribution.”

Indeed. Though approximately 120 million homes from Jerusalem to Jakarta to Germany tune in to AJE every day, the station has been all but shut out of the U.S. market. Unless you live in Burlington, Vt., or Northeast Ohio, where two local cable networks defied the industry by adding the channel to their line-ups, the only way to see the channel’s programming is on YouTube, or by paying for either a subscription broadband service or a satellite dish from French company GlobeCast. In Washington, D.C., a tiny satellite company called Washington Cable has the channel available, but so far, its customers — several government agencies, as well as a small number of apartment complexes, including the famed Watergate — don’t want it.

Though spokespeople from TimeWarner, Comcast, and News Corp (which owns DirecTV) refused to speak in any detail about their decision not to carry the channel, those with knowledge of the industry say AJE never had a chance on U.S. soil.

Makes sense. We might actually learn something about American policy in the Arab world. Best if The Great Unwashed stay ignorant.