Who Covereth the Heaven With Clouds, Who Prepareth Rain For the Earth, Who Hasn'teth A Clue

Common Dreams, links and a music video beseeching the FSM to let it rain.

Fear not the extreme weather threatening us all, the tornados in the South, the drought and fire ravaging Texas. GOP Gov. Rick Perry - he who has called climate change “one contrived phony mess" and whose state is the biggest carbon polluter in the country - will save us with prayer. Also some help from the feds, though he wants to secede. Also a prayerful Facebook page and song. It only has eight words; I guess they ran out. But hear ye: Fear not climate change. Hallelulah.

I'll believe he's serious when I see him hire some blanketasses to do a rain dance.

Home ...

Well, we finally got in the house at 11:00 last night. Once again I got jacked up leaving somewhere, subjected to a "random search" at Heathrow before getting on the aircraft (happened to me in Frankfurt once too). Thing is, when the Germans did it, it was by official federal border guards who were professional and respectful. This time, by some rent-a-cop security agents who were entirely unprofessional. My quote to them was "if I didn't have to be on this flight, I'd have you get your supervisor and then punch the lot of you out". Assholes.

Collecting the luggage at JFK was also a huge clusterfuck.

That said, we got in, unpacked the toothbrushes, and then went directly to sleep. I did manage to smuggle a hunk of cured Spanish ham and a wheel of the local goat cheese without getting jacked up at Kennedy. Heh ...

Couple things: As I mentioned yesterday, we had some lively debates aboard ship. Thing is, it was a pleasure to have discussions with people who didn't necessarily share points of view but could make their point intelligently and respectfully, unlike the things that qualify as "debate" here.

Aboard Lizzie, as well as the other two Cunard ships, is a dedicated smoking room called "Churchill's". It was there, every night after dinner, a group of about 25 of us (aside from the Brits and Americans - me and the Mrs. and a couple from Bay Ridge, Brooklyn - there was an Israeli woman and a couple Germans) would gather over drinks and talk about the world and its problems into the wee hours. It was truly enjoyable and friendly. The "Bloody Fooking Yank" remarks were made in humor and were taken as such.

Churchill's, aboard Queen Elizabeth - Click to embiggen.

Gonna start unpacking after I finish my coffee and then I'll put up my post from Vigo, Spain, along with more views of Lizzie's interior.

On the tornados

I'm sure all our hearts and thoughts and condolences and prayers if we do that go out to all the folks affected by the death and injury and destruction across several southern states, but...

How come I ain't hearing the fundie televangeliars saying it's God's wrathful payback for their sins like Katrina was for...others?

I guess if you're black it's Heavenly justice and if you're white and southern it's just bad weather. Can't piss off the folks you pass the plate to.

Possibly the most confused Spaniards ever...

This should help quell the notion that somehow Europeans are more sophisticated than we are...

Is that the Fixers way back there in the crowd...?

I'm sure these folks think the draped stars 'n bars is just a country music thing. Somebody should tell 'em what it really stands for.

By the way, I like to watch line dancing. Folks all over the world* do it. I don't do it in this country because I don't like getting hit with beer bottles when I flub a step.

*Still lookin' for some from Nepal...

coreografia: John "Grrowler" Rowell
música: Girl With A Bass Boat by Len Doolin.
IV Trobada Country a Premia de Mar, Barcelona, 23 maig 2010

Thanks to countryriderscat, España.

Welcome Home, Fixers!

Billie Anthony (born Philomena McGeachie Levy in Glasgow on 11 October 1932 — 5 January 1991) was a Scottish female singer.
In October 1953, after months of voice training and with her name changed to Billie Anthony, she recorded and released her first single for Columbia Records called "I'd Rather Take My Time" coupled with "Things Go Wrong". However it flopped.

Yes, things go wrong. Oh well, if at first you don't succeed... I'm sure this one did it for her.

For more info about this artist click here and on 'Show more'.

Thanks to DADRENO, UK.

Top 10 Birther Jokes

About.com

1. "These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." –Jimmy Kimmel

2. "It's important that we, the few, the proud, the reality-based, attack this stuff before it has a chance to fester and spread. This is not a case of Democrats versus Republicans. It's sentient beings versus the lizard people." –Bill Maher, on birtherism

8. "The state of Hawaii passed a new law allowing the state government to ignore requests for President Obama's birth certificate from the 'Birthers.' From now on, every future president should be required to be born on camera and in front of a national landmark." –Jimmy Kimmel

Fuckwads'd still think it was a socialist/communist/Muslim/Kenyan/whatever plot if the guy wasn't a whiter shade of pale.

Udderly Shocking*

*You just knew somebody couldn't resist that! Wasn't me. This time.

The Lookout

A man dressed in a cow suit managed to rob a busy Stafford, Virginia Walmart of 26 gallons of milk on Tuesday night before being nabbed by the cops.

The local news story on the crime, by David Pierce at InsideNova.com, is an absolute must read. Apparently, the cow-suited criminal escaped the megastore by crawling out the doors, "trying to emulate cattle." He then began handing out the stolen jugs right outside the store before making his escape, in a sort of bovine interpretation of Robin Hood.

Rumor has it** that Wall St. is looking for this guy. He likes to swipe stuff and give it away. They heard we had some money left so they want to re-educate him a little about priorities and run him for national office.

** "Rumor has it" = "I made it up myself"

And just another way ...

For a Yank to get in trouble (there were only 40 of us on this barge) in a crowd of Brits. Just use this quote (and I'm pretty sure it was from our friend Comrade Misfit) in a room full of 'em:

"Most of the problems in the world today can be traced back to the British mapmakers of yesterday."

For the last 2 weeks, I thought my first name was "Bloody", middle name "Fooking", last name "Yank".

Bloody 'ell ...

Sitting in Heathrow now, waiting for my flight. Bandwidth sucked yesterday during the Royal Wedding so I didn't get my post up from Vigo. I guess all the Limeys aboard had to text and email home about the wedding. Bloody twats. I'll be back in NYC by 8:30 Eastern, barring any screwups by Delta or the fucking plane crashing. Probly have something up tomorrow.

You all better behave. Heh ...

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Emmylou Harris ~ Goodnight Old World

Thanks to sessionslounge, Canada.

I hope it doesn't have the ejection seat...

...although rumor has it that Charles considered installing one for Di. Or his Mom...

I think this is funny. The car has an "L-plate". The 'L' is for 'Learner' as in new driver. What it really means is "Newbie at the wheel! Get outta the way!". I will ass-yoom there's not a similar plate on their bedpost. Heh.

CNN



This just in:

Harry did it! Apparently that is the plate for the Royal Bedpost!

Many have speculated that the bright red L plate on the grill of the James Bond-style vehicle signified that the Prince was still a rookie behind the wheel. But fret not, motorists! It’s probably just a royal inside jape, as Prince William successfully passed his drivers’ test in 1999.

From Cave News:

The DB6 was given to Prince Charles by his mother Queen Elizabeth II on his 21st Birthday.

The 42-year-old car is kept at Highgrove House the residence of Charles and Camilla.

The vintage car is running on vintage too - surplus wine from a nearby English vineyard. It was converted to bio-fuel about three years ago.

The car is only driven about 300 miles a year and averages ten miles a gallon. That's about 4 and one half bottles of wine per mile.

We wonder what the exhaust smells like.

"Honest, officer, it ain't me!".

Runs on wine? Why not? The Royal Family has run on gin for generations.

You can also get cufflinks made out of the Volante's old pistons as well.

Six pistons that came from the car's engine when it was being converted to run on biofuel are being melted down to create the 200 pairs of cufflinks.

That's their story and they're stickin' to it, but my guess is the pistons were maybe a little pre-melted when they pried 'em outta the engine block. English petrol and 'power timing' will do it every time.

Christopher Bennett, managing director of TMB, said: "These cufflinks are quintessential conversation pieces, with each pair directly benefiting The Prince's Trust. When I heard about the possibility of creating such future heirlooms from the Prince's Aston, the project was irresistible."
...

TMB was formed following the excavation of a Battle of Britain Hurricane fighter which crashed into Buckingham Palace Road, London, in 1940. Parts of the recovered Hurricane were later made into limited-edition sculptures.

Woulda been really cool if Wills and Kate had left the palace in one'a those...

Quote of the Day

Think Progress

While cable news has been offering wall-to-wall coverage since 3 am of the Alexander McQueen gown Kate Middleton wore to the royal wedding, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) was a bit behind this morning, tweeting, “Just catching up here. So she wore a Steve McQueen dress? #TheOneHeWoreInBullitt” — a reference to the actor’s 1968 classic cop flick.

I think Steve McQueen looked a lot cooler in the dress he wore in the motorcycle chase in The Great Escape. I still dress like that for riding...

One More Goddamn Birther Post

By The Rude One.

How mind-boggling is this? And how sadly not unexpected. And what's also sadly not unexpected is the reaction from the birthers. It's a forgery, it's not enough, it needs to go through forensics testing, what about his grades, what about his Social Security number, what about his Muslim connections, what about, what about, show us, show us. Seriously, could you guys just start saying, "That uppity nigger should be lynched"? Could you say that you're all het up because he looked at Hillary Clinton funny? Could you just stop pretending that anything else - anything else - is going on here other than that you hate black people with power? Because what you're doing is asking someone to prove shit when you don't have a scintilla of real evidence to support the crime you're accusing Obama of committing. What's next? Dig up his dead father to get DNA samples?

Shit, could Obama just get an intern to blow him in the Oval Office? Because, at this point, that fucking debacle makes sense. Hell, calling Bill Clinton a coke-snorting murderer just seems quaint.

After-Birthers

After-Birthers! I love it!

TPMMuckraker

Now that President Barack Obama's legal team went out of its way to get a copy of Obama's so-called long-form birth certificate, it's time for the birthers to eat crow, right? Not so much. It hasn't taken long for members of the "birther" movement to grab their backup plans.

They're getting wingnuttier and wingnuttier. Being caught in a lie doesn't faze 'em even a little bit. They had backup bullshit ready to go.

Many cultures bury afterbirth as a tribute to life-giving Mother Earth. I think it would be sacreligious to bury these After-Birthers for the same reason, but possibly OK as fertilizer.

Other cultures fry the placenta with shallots and garlic and...

TMI.

Update:

Go read "Josh's New Taxonomy of Birtherism". There's no reasoning with these racist morons so it's time to just plain ridicule them. Laugh 'em outta the picture.

Oh, and QUIT GIVING THEM AIR TIME.

So as we move into D Day +1 I've been trying to put together a new and workable taxonomy of birtherism. And here are my preliminary findings. Notwithstanding birtherism's roots in xenophobia and racism, the reactions have nonetheless been diverse. The birther movement has broken up into three broad contingents, with at least some overlap between the groups.

Second comes what I now term 'Forensic Denialist Long Form Birthers'. These are the folks who going on very theories deny or doubt the authenticity of the document released yesterday. Orly Taitz appears to be in this category, claiming, with no apparent reason, that an authentic document would have identified Obama's father as "Negro" as opposed to "African." More creatively, Jerome Corsi, author of the swift boat smear and leading birther now calls the Nordyke twins -- two girls born one day after Obama -- represent the "Rosetta Stone" of birtherism because the numbers on their birth certificates are lower than Obama's notwithstanding being born a day later.

Most intriguing and the final broad category are the Racialist Birther Triumphalists. This group accepts the birth certificate as proof that Obama was born where and when he claims. But that doesn't matter, they argue. And the birth certificate actually proves that President Obama's father was not a citizen of the United States at the time of his birth. Ergo, seemingly based on no existing constitutional argument, Obama himself is not a 'natural born' citizen although he is a 'native born' citizen. Even within the RBT category, there appears to be a division between those who say Obama isn't natural born because his dad was not a US citizen and those who claim that Obama is actual a dual-citizen of the British Empire, based on his father's birth, and thus not capable of being President.

Clever stuff. Enjoy.

And now, saving the best for last, my theory on what The Donald is really up to with all his birther noise. Are ya ready?

He's trying to get into Oily Taintz's pants and the haircut* wasn't working...

*He pays for that?!!

Quote of the Day

From The Political Carnival:

Radio host Nicole Sandler Arrested at Rep. Allen West’s Town Hall Meeting

The QotD:

Odd how during the health care reform town hall meetings of 2009, the tea baggers could scream, overshout, carry guns, make demands, cause a ruckus, and it was considered “freedom of speech”. But if a liberal asks a question or two, she gets arrested.

Batcrap wingnuts like West hate us because we ask questions they don't dare answer truthfully because it would sink them. Lying to cops was a handy way to get her outta there.

Links and videos at site.

"Now we have this craziness. The Republican party..."

For once, Joe Klein makes sense out of the obvious:

Now we have this craziness. The Republican party has rejected all of the polices mentioned above, except for financial deregulation. It has gone off the deep end on taxes. It has denied the long-term economic and societal benefits of universal health insurance. It has gone into climate change denial…it is hard for any card-carrying Republican to say: I believe that Darwinian evolution is God's plan. These sad realities probably led to Haley Barbour's decision not to run for President and may well lead to the same decision for Indiana's Mitch Daniels. They have led Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty to make mortal fools of themselves

And I wish them great success in doing so, but they don't need much help.

Two words immediately come to mind: Fox News. And two more words: Rush Limbaugh. And two more words: Newt Gingrich. And two more: Frank Luntz. But it seems clear that all eight of these words are part of the same, superficial, demagogic media phenomenon. And it also seems clear to me that there is a lot more to the profound political swing to the right that we've witnessed than telecharlatanism. The fear that has accompanied our economic slump has made the fear that right-wing demagogues sell a more attractive product. There is also the accumulating decades of educational incompetence, since - let's face it - a whole lot of smart female teachers were liberated to pursue their dreams and we were left, as Albert Shanker used to say, with the bottom 20% of college graduates to preside in our classrooms. And another thing: Perhaps this is just rear-view, rose-colored glasses, but after Bill Clinton took his lumps in 1994, he learned how to out-argue and out-think the extremists. His message was complicated, but his persona was clear - he was the McDonald's-eating, lounge-singer-screwing, good ol' boy with the 800 SATs, who really did understand how Americans (especially blue-collar American males) think, and really cared about their welfare. It was just flat embedded in his DNA after a childhood of having the cool athlete guys laugh at his sax-playing obese butt.

Last night, I watched two examples of the media at our best: Lawrence O'Donnell quietly filleting Rush Limbaugh on the subject of Jesus of Nazareth's economic policies and Anderson Cooper proving the utter non-existent nonsense of Donald Trump's "investigative" efforts to discover the "truth" about Barack Obama's birth certificate in Hawaii. Regular readers here know that I've avoided all mention of Trumpet from my posts on the grounds of life being too short for me to be played a sucker by that lame fool, but Anderson's work is probably a necessity for a mainstream outlet.

For most of the 40 years that I've been a working reporter, the country chugged along pretty damned well. There were plenty of important issues, but none that threatened the essence of our American miracle. That's no longer true. We face a future dominated by the celebration of ignorance and sloppy short-term thinking. I think those of us who are trying to actually report the world as it is - flawed and mistaken as we sometimes are - are facing a great challenge right now. We really owe the public a good, smart, rigorous couple of years between now and election day, 2012.

No shit you owe us. I'm not holding my breath.

Eye Eye, Cap'n

Mrs. G is going in for cataract surgery on her other eye today. It worked well last time so please beam your good wishes at her again. Thank you.

See yas later.

Update:

She's home now and all went well. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

This second cataract job seems to have gone easier on her than the first one.

The next one oughta be a breeze, if maybe a little more metaphysical...

Bored-ass Jesus will see you now

If it's Wednesday, it must be Morford going on about Guv'ner Goodhair's calls for prayer for rain and the Rapture.

Indeed, Perry's official Proclamation for Days of Prayer for Rain in Texas -- thusly issued after a staggering drought has ravaged the state for months, ruined crops, devastated local economies and dropped reservoir levels to record lows -- might at first glance induce, as it most certainly did for me, a chortle and gasp at the governor's somewhat mindless view of God; it might first make you think, "Oh Rick, you loveably despicable hunk of right wing chuzpah, you. Don't you know such peculiar entreaties just make God roll her eyes and laugh?"

She likes us better than you, Texas. Our drought is officially over after this past winter. Suck it, bitchez.

Ah, existential irony. Jesus loves that stuff.

But oh, poor Jesus, once again caught in the twee crossfire of mankind's terrible lack of imagination, once again reduced to a petty deity stuck way out there off the cosmic turnpike, a judgmental, lopsided hooligan who actually gives a damn about things like rainfall, and touchdowns, and borders, and math, and political parties, and gender, and whether or not you understand that the Second Coming has nothing whatsoever to do with bazooka-wielding angels blasting everyone into fiery smithereens, and everything to do with, you know, waking up.

But hey, if it will help, and before the apocalypse comes, I'll happily join right in and offer up a prayer for some rain for Texas, too. I'm sure the governor won't mind some liberal, left-coast, pro-gay, pro-sex, pro-choice, tantric-inspired love, right? I'm sure he'd happily do the same for San Francisco, right? We're all one, after all. Right?

See you at the Rapture. I'll bring the whisky.

Yeah, I'll be sittin' on my seabag all ready for that. Yeesh.

Enjoy.

Headline of the Day

White House releases Obama's birth certificate

Think this'll make the birther assholes STFU? Not bloody likely. Watch 'em try to make hay outta the typos and mistakes on it.

If Jesus Christ himself appeared with a copy of it, they'd accuse him of being an impostor for not looking like them too.

Update:

Kos

That the birthers aren't satisfied with the release of the long form birth certificate isn't surprising. Birthers aren't satisfied because no matter how many documents Barack Obama releases it will never be enough, because there isn't a document in the world that will turn him white.

Finally ...

Sorry for taking so long but I was in no mood to post after the great time we had in Funchal yesterday. I got posts up from Tenerife, Gran Canaria, and Funchal. At sea today, Vigo, Spain tomorrow.

Enjoy!