"Permanently capitalizing the P in Presumptive Nominee"

Will Durst on Willard and The Donald:

Another potential mine in the Road to Tampa is the struggle to keep Willard from hanging out with the wrong crowd. You know, other Republicans. Especially distressing to see him palling around with Donald Trump. Again, Like being photographed at a clown convention. No matter how hard you try, some of that white face is bound to wipe off on the shoulders of even the most ghostly of political shadows.

I gar-on-tee nothing but white is gonna rub off on Rmoney. And who could tell?

Donald Trump: a man who is to sober judgment what chocolate covered marshmallows are to quantum physics. Fueling more fickle furnaces that suspect he’ll say or do anything to get to 50.1%, Romney refuses to criticize The Donald, even when the reality show host spouts further Birther nonsense. “Obama was born in Kenya.” No, he wasn’t. He was born in Honolulu. In a manger. Everybody knows that.

When asked why he continues to press on with this discredited charge, Trump said: “People on the street tell me not to give up on the issue.” Donald, for crum’s sake, you live in New York City. People on the street also say “My tricycle sprouted wings and is made out of plutonium.”

Although when you think about it, the Oxymormon needs to pick a vice president who makes him look presidential, and The Donald might be the perfect choice. Next to him, Lou Ferrigno looks Presidential. Manny Ramirez. Some random guy in a banana suit twirling a sign.

Of course, featuring these two titans of industry, people would either flock to or flee from the Vulture Capitalist Ticket. You’ve heard of Dumb & Dumber? Welcome to Rich & Richer. Even George Will would have to admit, it’s a pairing that would go a long way into nailing down the bloviating ignoramus vote. Start cranking out the bumper stickers: “Romney/ Trump 2012. We’re Good at Firing People!”

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

BUSH, CHENEY, RUMSFELD, YOO CONVICTED OF WAR CRIMES BY INTERNATIONAL TRIBUNAL IN INDONESIA
Move along folks, nothing going on here.

Needs to happen a little closer to home, like the Hague.

Iran Says It's Been Hit by Powerful Cyber Attack
Ayatollah Khamenei rails against foreign invaders who disrupted his download.

Pulled his pants up for the first time in weeks.

Study: Regular Viewers of Fox News Least Informed
Regular viewers of test pattern score higher.

I like the one with the Indian Chief.

Study: Women Smell Better Than Men
Based on thousands of extremely awkward interviews.

"Not awkward at all!" says Fixer. Note his official interviewer shirt:

Click to embiggen

Quote of the Day

Thers:

...

Boy, if Mitt Rmoney wins the election, I wonder if he'll even have time to do any proper presidentin', what with all the billionaire dick he'll be sucking.

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Real food ...

Been saying, and practicing, this for years:

What is it about we Americans that makes eating for pleasure such a doggone difficult concept to wrap our little Cotton Mather heads around?

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But for some reason, Americans still insist on "eating for health" instead of for pleasure. And that all but provokes an inevitable reaction: too many of us keep on mistaking pleasurable foods for processed garbage with lethal amounts of salt, sugar, and who-the-hell-knows-what-else in them. It creates a deadly dichotomy. One side leads to deadly dull meals; the other is simply deadly.

...

This is where "keep it real" hits home. There is amazingly little that comes out of a package in this house. Eat real food, get adequate exercise, and you'll never have to put anything with the word "diet" on it near your lips again.

Headline of the Day

All 67 Florida Election Supervisors Suspend Governor Rick Scott's Voter Purge

In other words, "Stick yer purge where the sun don't shine, chromedome."

Don't Thank Me for My Service

This op-ed comes awfully close to the way I feel.

By Camillo Mac Bica, Truthout

I do not want to appear disrespectful or ungrateful, but should we meet on the street one day, do say "Hello," or "Fine day" or other such nicety, but please do not thank me for "my service" as a United States Marine. I make this request because my service, as you refer to it, was basically, either to train to become a killer or to actually kill people and blow shit up.
...

So, in the future, if you really insist on thanking me for something, do not thank me for the eight years I spent as a Marine, but for the 45 or so years following my discharge from the military that I have spent as an activist fighting for human rights and social justice and to end the insanity of war. Frankly, however, I would prefer that you just say hello, or fine day or other such nicety. You see, my activism all these years warrants no praise or merit, as it is not something I choose to do. Rather, I do it because I must, perhaps as penance for my culpability for the sacrilege of war. And if you truly want to demonstrate your good character, patriotism, and support for the troops and veterans, rather than merely mouth meaningless expressions of gratitude for something you don't truly understand or care much about, do something meaningful and real. Do what is truly in the interest of this nation and of those victimized by war.

Make some demands.

Demand, for example, an immediate end to the corporate takeover of our "democracy" and to the undue influence of the military-industrial-Congressional complex. Demand sanity in Pentagon spending and a reallocation of finite resources to people-focused programs such as health care, education and jobs rather than to killing and destruction. Demand an immediate end to wars for corporate profit, greed, power and hegemony. Demand that we adhere to the Constitution and to international law. Demand accountability for those who make war easily and care more for wealth, profit and power than for national interest or for the welfare of their fellow human beings. And finally, demand the troops be brought home now, and that they be adequately treated and cared for when they return. So, should we meet on the street one day, do say Hello, or Fine day, and as you talk to me about your efforts to make this country and the world a better and more peaceful place in which to live, I would be happy to thank you for your service.

Don't thank me either. Thankfully I never had to go to war and I didn't join the service for anybody but myself anyway. I was a dumb kid like everybody else. It worked out all right and I'm proud of my service but that's my business. So far I have been able to avoid telling people who thank me to go fuck themselves and where were they when my brothers in arms were being reviled for doing their duty in a war that was less despicable than Bush's Oil War. It's a struggle sometimes.

I guess I'm looking for a courteous way to say "Keep yer goddam thanks to yourself. You don't know jack shit."

I'll keep looking.

Well ...

Maybe it's not so bad:

Over the last week, the signals have been abundant that congressional Republicans are pivoting from their total opposition to “Obamacare” toward supporting the more popular chunks of the law.

...

Seems the Orange Boner realizes that too many people like too many provisions of the Affordable Care Act for the GOP to keep saying they're gonna repeal it. Idiots.

Quote of the Day

Watertiger:

Trump is the living exemplar of why the inheritance tax should be much MUCH higher.

Ain't no such thing ...

Heh ...

Stolen from the Americans Against The Tea Party FB page.

We can have ...

Peace in our time:

Heh ...

Dope 'n Soda

Fixer's on a, er, high roll today so I'm gonna riff off him a little. First dope, then soda, just like in real life when yer mouth gets dry. Heh.

Cocaine for horses, not for men
Doctor said it kill ya
But he don't says when
An-a ho-oh, baby take a whiff on me

Thanks to lucianovolume, Peru. Peru. Heh.

Thanks to aw2basc.

Thanks to sgvsur13.

Don't miss this one! Jon Stewart tears Runtberg a new one!

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

'Nuff said ...

Dope songs ...

Our pal and brother-in-arms deuddersun was on a dope song thing the other day on Facebook (Gordon was an accomplice) and some of 'em stuck in my head. So, today I figured I'd add a few of my own to the mix.

Dr. Hook - Do Downs

Elton John - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

And just a note: I forgot how damn good Gracie Slick looked back then.

The Doughy One ...

Drops another pant-load. Basically "Kids today are all Socialists and need Conservatives to beat the Socialist right out of them" (Personally, I'm pretty sure your average 15 year old can beat the shit out of ol' Jonah). Dickhead. As Fez says:

So remember folks, so far the GOP's top "pundits" have advocated that voting should be limited to:

Old.White.Men.

Yeah ...

Fuck the Tea Party.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

With The Red Dirt Boys

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Final solutions ...

To Hell with legislation, just kill 'em all:

A number of right-wing authorities have come forward with anti-gay pleas in recent weeks, but one Maryland-based pastor has gone one step further, saying he "kind of likes" the idea of killing lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.

...

Last week one of these Jesus freaks wanted to put the queers in a camp. I guess the logistics were too much for them so we're going directly to executions.

Pro-Life?

Not so much:

The right has been “pro-life” since the 70s when they realized that it would make a fantastic wedge issue. This affected “belief” system dictates that abortion is a no-no and contraception is immoral. I say “affected” since they seem to be more than willing to make exceptions when it suits their purpose.

...

Yeah, when they want to make sure people they don't like don't breed. If you're not white, Christian, and American, the Right could give a shit less what happens to your unborn babies.

This just in!

They're dedicating the official portrait of (thank God) ex-Preznit Chimp just now. Dubya got up and said "Thanks for inviting all my rowdy friends to my hanging."

I'd buy and wear a suit to go the real hanging of that weakling sonofabitch!

A man can dream...

Headline of the Day

CNN Moves To The Right and Loses 52% of Its Viewers

Heh. A marketing decision by one of CNN's rocket scientists, no doubt. "Colossal Fail" will be CNN's epitaph.

Note to CNN*: You have actual reporters and journalists working there, so I've heard. Given that, there is no way you can out-stupid or out-partisan F**Noise. They have too much of a head start.

*Conservative Noise Now?