Saturday, December 31, 2005
The Weather Gods Are Laughing At Me. Again.
I am typing as fast as my poor bruised little index finger can handle, hoping it doesn't happen again.
I just wrote a real long post about our local weather: road closures, power outages, way too many weekenders/New Year's celebrants, etc., with links to all kinds of shit for your amusement and edification. Maybe an hour's worth. As I was moving the cursor from the final 'period' towards 'publish', the power went off for the second time today. Lasted less than thirty seconds, but -poof!- the post was gone.
I think the weather gods were trying to tell me it was too long and nobody would care anyway. I can take a hint. I won't try to duplicate it. You're saved.
Howsomever, in the course of my research I discovered the absolute best webcam site I've yet seen. Go click around my state and my mountains. I'm going to. There's even a 'Shamu, The Killer Whale' one! Whee!
Happy New Year, folks. '06 is going to be lots better.
I just wrote a real long post about our local weather: road closures, power outages, way too many weekenders/New Year's celebrants, etc., with links to all kinds of shit for your amusement and edification. Maybe an hour's worth. As I was moving the cursor from the final 'period' towards 'publish', the power went off for the second time today. Lasted less than thirty seconds, but -poof!- the post was gone.
I think the weather gods were trying to tell me it was too long and nobody would care anyway. I can take a hint. I won't try to duplicate it. You're saved.
Howsomever, in the course of my research I discovered the absolute best webcam site I've yet seen. Go click around my state and my mountains. I'm going to. There's even a 'Shamu, The Killer Whale' one! Whee!
Happy New Year, folks. '06 is going to be lots better.
The Magical Victory Tour
One of my new favorites, Matt Taibbi, who calls 'em like he sees 'em, on Bush's recent PR speeches on Iraq.
And on his encounter with Scott "That's my story an' I'm stickin' to it" McClellan in the WH press room:
Go read.
Bush in person always strikes me as the kind of guy who would ask a woman for a hand job at the end of a first date. He has days where he looks like she said yes, and days where the answer was no.
Today was one of his no days. He frowned, looking wronged, and grabbed the microphone. I pulled out my notebook . . .
A few minutes later, I felt like a hooker who's just blinked under a blanket with a prep-school virgin. Was that it? Is it over? It seemed to be; Bush was off the podium and slipping down the first line of the crowd, pumping hands for a minute and then promptly Snagglepussing toward the left exit. By the time I made it five rows into the crowd, he had vanished into a sea of Secret Servicemen, who whisked him away, presumably to return him posthaste to his formaldehyde tank.
In other words, this was really a National Strategy for Victory at Home. It was classic Bush-think: Instead of bombing the insurgency off the map, he bombs the map -- in lieu of actually fighting the war (my em), a bold strategy, to be sure. But would it work?
And on his encounter with Scott "That's my story an' I'm stickin' to it" McClellan in the WH press room:
"Just to be clear," I said, exasperated, "that's a different argument than was made to the American people before the war."
"Our arguments are very public," he said. "You can go look at what the arguments are. That's not what I was talking about."
He smiled at me. There's your strategy for victory in Iraq: Fuck all of you -- we're sticking to our story.
Go read.
Economics 101
Stolen from Attaturk:
We all know that outside of blowing up some foreign swarthies the thing you loved most is money. If anything you obsess over your stock market earnings more than most. So I'd like you to pay attention to this particular statistic.
When "the Clenis" took office in January 1993, the stock market stood at about 3,500. When "the Clenis" left office in January 2001, the stock market was at 10,588.
In nearly five years, what has "Mr. Deficit" the Chimperor Disgustus accomplished for your market portfolio?
Yesterday, the market closed at 10,717.50. Five years into the Clinton presidency it stood at about 8,000 (more than double).
In short, why the fuck are you voting Republican?
More than corruption?
My man Dave Johnson:
...
To what extent is it possible that today's Republican Party scandals are not just about traditional corruption, but instead are the result of manipulation by foreign interests, masquerading as corruption and ideological cultism? China, Iran, ??? The neo-cons are persuaded by ideology and cooked-up intelligence to go to war in Iraq. Iran ends up with Shia Iraq as a client state, with its oil resources at its disposal, for sale to China. America weakened, its industries no longer competitive, it's infrastructure crumbling. Who benefits?
...
Heh . . .
Federal prosecutors and lawyers for Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff consulted briefly Friday with a federal judge in Miami as they put the finishing touches on a plea deal that could be announced as early as Tuesday, according to sources familiar with the negotiations.
...
Abramoff's cooperation would be a boon to an ongoing Justice Department investigation of congressional corruption, possibly helping prosecutors build criminal cases against up to 20 lawmakers and their staff members. [my ems]
...
Happy New Year to us!
Link via Maru.
Fixer's Person(s) of the Year
The United States Coast Guard.
Lord help us if we didn't have 'em. I give them all a salute and will hoist a pint of Newcastle (maybe more than one) in their honor tonight. Think about what they do in a single day:
My pick for Person(s) of the Year.
The United States Coast Guard is a military, multimission, maritime service and one of the nation's five Armed Services. Its mission is to protect the public, the environment, and U.S. economic interest - in the nation's ports and waterways, along the coast, on international waters, or in any maritime region as required to support national security.
Lord help us if we didn't have 'em. I give them all a salute and will hoist a pint of Newcastle (maybe more than one) in their honor tonight. Think about what they do in a single day:
Save 15 lives
Assist 117 people in distress
Protect $2.8 million in property
Interdict 30 illegal migrants at sea
Conduct 90 search and rescue cases
Seize $21 million worth of illegal drugs
Respond to 11 oil and hazardous chemical spills
Board and inspect 122 vessels
My pick for Person(s) of the Year.
Chutzpah
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Justice Department is investigating who disclosed a secret domestic eavesdropping operation approved by President George W. Bush after the September 11 attacks, officials said on Friday.
"We are opening an investigation into the unauthorized disclosure of classified materials related to the NSA," a Justice Department official said on condition of anonymity.
...
It takes a set to demand an investigation after the WH knew the Times had this story for a year, especially since they had no intention of investigating who leaked Valerie Plame's identity to the press. Why didn't they take the Times to task last year? Because it was, say it with me, election season. Let's hope Abramoff takes the lot of them down before the next one.
Update:
Pudentilla writes letters.
Update:
Granny, fully and completely:
Now they are having a witch hunt to find out who wasn't covering up the President's crime!
Imagine that type of response to Valerie Plame
to 9/11
to Tom DeLay's appropriating fe[d]eral property.
Imagine if they hadn't permitted so many of their friends to destroy evidence of ongoing investigations. Anthrax, 9/11, Ohio...
Clowntime is over:
The Last Stand of the American Republic:
A must-read.
...
How will the Establishment deal with this direct challenge? The past few years give little grounds for hope: the Democrats spineless, conflicted, co-opted and corrupt; the Republicans slavish, bellicose, cruel and criminal; the media timorous, witless, corporate-controlled; big business absolutely rolling in gravy from the autocrat's larder; academia cowed, silenced, ignored, demonized; the military acquiescent in criminal aggression, top-heavy with time-servers currying autocratic favor. Only the courts provide some stray sparks of hope, although they too are now loaded with political sycophants, corporate bagmen and knuckle-dragging throwbacks produced by the Right's decades-long devolution of American jurisprudence. Prosecutors like Patrick Fitzgerald and Elliot Spitzer "keep hope alive," but their efforts will mean little in a system where lawlessness at the top has been countenanced by the rest of the Establishment. And in any case, the outcome of their work lies ultimately with the Supreme Court -- the same court that shredded the Constitution in awarding power to Bush in the first place, and which is now led by a Bushist apparatchik.
Still, you don't go through a constitutional crisis with the Establishment you want; you go through a constitutional crisis with the Establishment you have. And this sad, sick crew, ladies and gentlemen, is all we have. If they swallow the spy scandal, if they don't push back now -- and I mean really push back, not just make a lot of harrumphing noise or hold a few toothless hearings or get a couple of underlings offered up as ritual sacrifices to save the Leader -- then we will have well and truly and finally lost the Republic that Franklin, Jefferson and Madison gave us so long ago.
...
A must-read.
Thanks to Susie.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Borrow and Squander
So much for tax and spend Liberals. Jane's coined a name for the Repubs. Why? This:
Good thing we tightened up the bankruptcy regulations, huh?
Treasury Secretary John W. Snow said yesterday that the United States could be unable to pay its bills in early 2006 unless Congress raises the government's borrowing authority, which is now capped at $8.18 trillion.
...
"At that time, unless the debt limit is raised or the Treasury Department takes authorized extraordinary actions, we will be unable to continue to finance government operations," Snow wrote.
...
Good thing we tightened up the bankruptcy regulations, huh?
Raiding the Icebox
This is just plain un-fucking-believable: The U.S. has war plans drawn up to invade CANADA fer chrissake! I had to check my calendar to make sure it's not April 1st. It's not. It's all laid out in this surprisingly good (and funny!) article in the WaPo.
Don't miss this one.
It would have been nice if our war planners had been as thorough in planning for Iraq. Maybe they were. OK then, it would have been nice if higher-higher had listened to them.
If we screw up invading Canada as bad as we did Iraq, and we easily could under this misadministration, we would truly deserve to be the world's laughingstock as much or even more than we deserve their scorn now, eh?
At that point, it's only a matter of time before we bring these Molson-swigging, maple-mongering Zamboni drivers to their knees! Or, as the official planners wrote, stating their objective in bold capital letters: "ULTIMATELY TO GAIN COMPLETE CONTROL."
It sounds like a joke but it's not. War Plan Red is real. It was drawn up and approved by the War Department in 1930, then updated in 1934 and 1935. It was declassified in 1974 and the word "SECRET" crossed out with a heavy pencil. Now it sits in a little gray box in the National Archives in College Park, available to anybody, even Canadian spies. They can photocopy it for 15 cents a page.
Out in Winnipeg -- the Manitoba capital, whose rail yards were slated to be seized in the plan -- Brad Salyn, the city's director of communications, said he didn't think Winnipeg Mayor Sam Katz knew anything about War Plan Red: "You know he would have no clue about what you're talking about, eh?"
"I'm sure Winnipeggers will stand up tall in defense of our country," Mayor Katz said later. "We have many, many weapons."
What kind of weapons?
"We have peashooters, slingshots and snowballs," he said, laughing.
But the Canadians' best weapon, Katz added, is their weather. "It gets to about minus-50 Celsius with a wind chill," he said. "It will be like Napoleon's invasion of Russia. I'm quite convinced that you'll meet your Waterloo on the banks of the Assiniboine River."
As it turns out, Katz isn't the first Canadian to speculate on how to fight the U.S.A. In fact, Canadian military strategists developed a plan to invade the United States in 1921 -- nine years before their American counterparts created War Plan Red.
Brown's idea was to buy time for the British to come to Canada's rescue. Buster even entered the United States in civilian clothing to do some reconnaissance.
"He had a total annual budget of $1,200," said Rudmin, "so he himself would drive to the areas where they were going to invade and take pictures and pick up free maps at gas stations."
Etzinger, the Canadian Embassy spokesman, isn't worried about an American invasion because Canada has a secret weapon -- actually thousands of secret weapons.
"We've got thousands of Canadians in the U.S. right now, in place secretly," he said. "They could be on your street. We've sent people like Celine Dion and Mike Myers to secretly infiltrate American society."
Pretty funny, Mr. Etzinger. But the strategists who wrote War Plan Red were prepared for that problem. They noted that "it would be necessary to deal internally" with the "large number" of Brits and Canadians living in the United States -- and also with "a small number of professional pacifists and communists."
The planners did not specify exactly what would be done with those undesirables. But it would be kinda fun to see Celine Dion and Mike Myers wearing orange jumpsuits down in Guantanamo.
Eh?
Don't miss this one.
It would have been nice if our war planners had been as thorough in planning for Iraq. Maybe they were. OK then, it would have been nice if higher-higher had listened to them.
If we screw up invading Canada as bad as we did Iraq, and we easily could under this misadministration, we would truly deserve to be the world's laughingstock as much or even more than we deserve their scorn now, eh?
Heck of a job, Bushie
Paul Krugman, gleefully stolen from Free Democracy. The last two paragraphs:
Read and enjoy. While you're there, thank Kevin for saving you $49.95.
A year ago, most Americans thought Mr. Bush was honest. (What an awful thought! - G)
A year ago, we didn't know for sure that almost all the politicians and pundits who thundered, during the Lewinsky affair, that even the president isn't above the law have changed their minds. But now we know when it comes to presidents who break the law, it's O.K. if you're a Republican.
Read and enjoy. While you're there, thank Kevin for saving you $49.95.
Petition
Here's a letter at Act For Change that you should sign that will
You know what to do.
Ask Attorney General Gonzales and the U.S. Congress to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate domestic spying by the National Security Agency.
You know what to do.
Hoax
From Molly Ivins
Thank you, Molly. This is the first retraction, let alone apology, that I've seen on this.
It was an awfully easy hoax to believe, as is anything involving intrusion or calculated erosion of civil liberties by this administration.
To its perpetrators I say: shame on you, both for lying and for being lazy. There's enough real government assaults on our freedom that you don't have to make them up.
We should be used to hoaxes. We have had many, many of them pulled on us by this administration. If any of them admit it, let alone apologize, on their deathbeds, I'd be very surprised, but I'm certainly willing to let a whole bunch of 'em die to test my theory.
Apology: I bit on a bad story in my Dec. 20 column. The tale of the UMass-Dartmouth student who was visited by the feds for checking out Mao's "Little Red Book" has turned out to be a hoax. So sorry.
Thank you, Molly. This is the first retraction, let alone apology, that I've seen on this.
It was an awfully easy hoax to believe, as is anything involving intrusion or calculated erosion of civil liberties by this administration.
To its perpetrators I say: shame on you, both for lying and for being lazy. There's enough real government assaults on our freedom that you don't have to make them up.
We should be used to hoaxes. We have had many, many of them pulled on us by this administration. If any of them admit it, let alone apologize, on their deathbeds, I'd be very surprised, but I'm certainly willing to let a whole bunch of 'em die to test my theory.
Republican States of America
The new rules:
1. No free speech. Criticizing a Republican is illegal. Criticizing any Republican policy is illegal. You so-called 'moderate' Repubs take heed. The word 'bipartisanship' will be stricken from the language. All communications will be monitored for anti-Republican activity. Hey, if you're not doing anything wrong, you got nothing to hide, right?
2. No pornography. Sorry, guys, use your imagination. Ooops...I forgot, masturbation is frowned upon too. Think of all those potential fetuses you're shooting into that Kleenex.
3. No birth control, no abortions. Unwanted pregnancy? Sorry, shouldn't have had sex in the first place unless you're married. The fact that you're pregnant is a gift from God (except in the situation described in #5, in which your soul and the souls of your progeny will be banished to the Fires of Hell).
4. No sex before marriage. You Jesuslanders abstain until marriage, right? So this shouldn't be too hard for ya.
5. No sex (marriage) between races. I mean, if we keep that up, the average American will be brown and swarthy in 50 years. Note to Jesuslanders: If your lily white daughter gets knocked up by Mandingo who plays middle linebacker on the high school football team, see #3.
6. Homosexuality. Illegal, punishable by death. Move to France if you wanna do that shit. There will be camps to straighten out those of you who want to stay.
7. State religion. Everyone (no exceptions) will accept the God of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson as their one true God. Eh? What's that, you Jewish folks? Get real. We don't need you anymore and you can go to Israel if you want to do that Old Testament shit, or you can remain and be treated like Muslims. Muslims, the last of you should be in the appropriate camp by the end of the week. Anybody else? Just get the fuck out, or convert, or you'll end up like the Muslims too.
8. Education. Each school district will build one big building, the 'District Home School'. All children will attend and a faith-based curriculum will be taught; if it didn't happen before the end 13th Century, it doesn't matter, except for the Republcan Reform of 2007 when we all were required to lead faith-based lives.
9. Opposing political parties. Eh? What?
10. Social programs. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. By the way, what little Social Security you do receive will be discontinued at the end of the month. After all, FDR was a Communist and we don't want any of that now, do we?
I'm sure there's a million more but I have to go to work. Feel free to add in 'comments' and I'll put 'em up here (with proper credit of course) when I get home.
Update:
For your list, a bumper sticker:
I am holier than thou. - dus7
"Since there will be no taxation, all monies from formerly Blue States will be sent directly to formerly Red States so they can maintain their lifestyle since they are so well educated they can't make a decent living. This will also serve as a penitence for the former godless, ungodly, and unrepentant Blue-Staters since we need the money and therefore can't 'purge' them like we'd like to." - Gordon
1. No free speech. Criticizing a Republican is illegal. Criticizing any Republican policy is illegal. You so-called 'moderate' Repubs take heed. The word 'bipartisanship' will be stricken from the language. All communications will be monitored for anti-Republican activity. Hey, if you're not doing anything wrong, you got nothing to hide, right?
2. No pornography. Sorry, guys, use your imagination. Ooops...I forgot, masturbation is frowned upon too. Think of all those potential fetuses you're shooting into that Kleenex.
3. No birth control, no abortions. Unwanted pregnancy? Sorry, shouldn't have had sex in the first place unless you're married. The fact that you're pregnant is a gift from God (except in the situation described in #5, in which your soul and the souls of your progeny will be banished to the Fires of Hell).
4. No sex before marriage. You Jesuslanders abstain until marriage, right? So this shouldn't be too hard for ya.
5. No sex (marriage) between races. I mean, if we keep that up, the average American will be brown and swarthy in 50 years. Note to Jesuslanders: If your lily white daughter gets knocked up by Mandingo who plays middle linebacker on the high school football team, see #3.
6. Homosexuality. Illegal, punishable by death. Move to France if you wanna do that shit. There will be camps to straighten out those of you who want to stay.
7. State religion. Everyone (no exceptions) will accept the God of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson as their one true God. Eh? What's that, you Jewish folks? Get real. We don't need you anymore and you can go to Israel if you want to do that Old Testament shit, or you can remain and be treated like Muslims. Muslims, the last of you should be in the appropriate camp by the end of the week. Anybody else? Just get the fuck out, or convert, or you'll end up like the Muslims too.
8. Education. Each school district will build one big building, the 'District Home School'. All children will attend and a faith-based curriculum will be taught; if it didn't happen before the end 13th Century, it doesn't matter, except for the Republcan Reform of 2007 when we all were required to lead faith-based lives.
9. Opposing political parties. Eh? What?
10. Social programs. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. By the way, what little Social Security you do receive will be discontinued at the end of the month. After all, FDR was a Communist and we don't want any of that now, do we?
I'm sure there's a million more but I have to go to work. Feel free to add in 'comments' and I'll put 'em up here (with proper credit of course) when I get home.
Update:
For your list, a bumper sticker:
I am holier than thou. - dus7
"Since there will be no taxation, all monies from formerly Blue States will be sent directly to formerly Red States so they can maintain their lifestyle since they are so well educated they can't make a decent living. This will also serve as a penitence for the former godless, ungodly, and unrepentant Blue-Staters since we need the money and therefore can't 'purge' them like we'd like to." - Gordon
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Poker with Dick Cheney
Lurch again. Don't miss this one. It'll make your eyes roll back in yer head.
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