The DNC chair

I've been hearing a million names bandied about the Blogosphere lately, this clown or the other for DNC chair. The only one I could support is Howard Dean. The rest of 'em, puh, they suck. And I don't even know if Dean is the best one for the job. The best man for the job doesn't want it. Me.

That's right. Or at least a guy like me. A guy who doesn't want to go back to the same old same old, like we're doing now. Goddammit, it pisses me off.

I hear all this shit. "Oh, we have to come closer to the center." "Oh, we have to meet the Republicans half-way." No we don't, goddammit. What 'cause they won by a margin of 2%, we have to kiss their ass? No, no, no, I don't think so. What I'm proposing, and it's not an original idea by any stretch of the imagination, is more of a parliamentary approach. I want a true Opposition Party.

I want an alternate policy. For every policy the Repubs propose, have our people put out an alternative. When (p)resident Dicknose says he wants to privatize Social Security, come out with a plan to save it. Give the folks an alternative. When Shrub says he has to invade Iraq, show the American people a way to acheive the same ends diplomatically. Jesus H. Christ, we're not going to get any support from the public if we just say "Bush is wrong because he's a dickhead". We need a guy like me at the helm who'll call a spade a spade.

When Bush comes up with stupid shit, come out and say it. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is stupid shit". Or, "ladies and gentlemen, Bush is lying through his teeth and here's why". Call black Republicans what they are, steppinfetchit Uncle Toms who've sold out their principles and their people. If it weren't for the Dems, they'd still be niggas, having to use their own bathrooms, drinking fountains, and sit in the back of the bus. Call the Jesus freaks what they are, stupid. Creationism is illogical and stupid, unless facts and hundreds of years of scientific observation have no meaning for you. There's a reason we call it science, goddammit.

I'm tired of these 'make nice' hacks who think we have to accept anything the Repub talking assholes spit out. It's time to speak to the American people in frank, no-nonsense language. It's time to run on our foundation principles, and it's time for the DNC chair to spell that out clearly to the American people through his leadership.

The Democratic Party is one of inclusion. Everybody's welcome, any color, any enthicity, any sexual orientation, anyone who believes people have the right of determinism over their own bodies. Call the Repubs what they are, racist, bigoted, warmongers, and in the pockets of big business. Call their followers the same thing and show them the alternative. Call the Bush Administration what they are, a bunch of little-dick white men (and yes, I'm including Condi and Colin) who have to compensate by acting like a bunch of teenagers who've just been put in charge of the class when the teacher is out.

Stand for the principles laid down by our Founding Fathers instead of being willing to compromise them. If we stand up to the Repubs instead of chasing their propaganda, people will vote Democratic. If they see a Democratic Party with balls, they'll come around. But the leader of the Party must have a set of brass ones, not a couple dried up raisins. Jesus H. Christ, call the Shrub a lair often and loudly. Stop mincing words.

But the most important thing we have to do is steal a Republican idea. The "Contract with America" of Newt Gingrich infamy. We have to make something up like that. Ol' Oliver Willis is a fine example with his Brand Democrat stuff, but we need more of that, much more, and it has to come from the top of the Party. We need to have cool slogans and repeat 'em until folks are sick of it. The time for this pussy-footing bullshit is over. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Fuck 'em where they breathe.

We gotta do something soon, and appointing a strong, no-nonsense DNC chair is the first step. With good leadership at the top, the troops will come around. They always do.

(And a note to the ladies: When I say 'man' or 'guy' I mean women too. I'm an old guy, leave me alone.)