Dear Fearless Leader,
I've noticed for a couple years now that you have trouble staying upright on two wheels. I done figured it out, and your troubles are over. Here's the deal: you ain't goin' fast enough. The gyroscopic effect hasn't fully kicked in at those slow speeds.
So here's what I propose: I'll tune you up a motersickle that'll go so fast it'll never tip over. I been wrenchin' on them things fer nigh on forty year, and I know how to make 'em go, by golly. We'll get ya a big American V-Twin with a stroker kit and a hot cam, carb, an' pipe setup. Won't be a faster sled on the road. Your eyes'll light up like a kid at Christmas.
I also know all about brakes, tires, and steering, as well as all the non-essential shit, like a kill button. I'll make sure the wheel and swingarm bearings, brake fluid, throttle return spring and stuff like that are all up to snuff, so to speak.
We got some groovy mountain roads out here in California. I'd love to show 'em to ya. During our ride I just know you'll get a lot closer to God. Hope to hear from ya real soon.
Your pal
Gord
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