We Must Preserve The Earth's Dwindling Resources For My Five Children

If you're gonna take anything in The Onion seriously, well, don't, but sometimes it provides food for thought disguised as satire, irony, and ridicule of those who need it.

As we move into the 21st century, it is our responsibility to think of the future of the earth - not for ourselves, but for those who will inherit what my husband and I leave behind when we're gone. If we do not join together and do what's best for this, our only planet, there may not be an environment left in which my five children, and their 25 children's 125 children, can grow up and raise large upper-middle-class families of their own.

Nothing less than the preservation of my descendents'(sic-G) lifestyle itself is at stake.

Imagine a world devoid of pristine wilderness for my progeny to explore on the weekends in the sport-utility-vehicles of the future, leaving my youngest son, Dylan, with nowhere to blow off steam on off-road adventures. Imagine a world in which my beautiful middle son, Connor, is denied his twice-daily half-hour hot showers because of water shortages. Picture what it would be like for my oldest boy Asher, preparing to start his first semester at Stanford, to have to go without basic amenities such as cable television, satellite radio, central air, or massage chairs, all because of the shortsighted squandering by his parents' generation of our non-renewable energy sources today.

There's more. Go read.

At the top of The Onion is an ad for Bill Maher's new DVD, New Rules: New Rule: "Call things what they are. If your morning coffee contains crushed ice, whipped cream and caramel, it's a milkshake!"

An old Chinese proverb says, "Wisdom begins with calling things by their right name."

There's nothing new.