I don't get it

And before you tell me that I'll never get it because I don't have kids, what's with these Quiverfull people? I have a lot of friends and relatives with kids, and I know how much shit costs for them, and the replacement rate when they grow out of their clothes every few months, not counting doctor visits, education, let alone feeding 'em. So I ask the question, what the fuck do you have fifty million of 'em for?

If there is a grandmother to this movement, it's Nancy Campbell. Her magazine has been advocating this lifestyle for decades. Campbell explained why followers even have a problem with natural family planning or the "rhythm method."

"When we really stop and think about it, it's not natural," she said. "We have to go against the way that God designed our bodies. He designed them to be fruitful, so if a couple [doesn't] want to have children?they've got to do something to their body so it doesn't work the way God planned it."

What about simply not having sex?

"What married couple is not going to do that?" Campbell asked.

I mean, aside from the fact of the screaming and bodily fluids abounding, how much money do you have to make to support a house full o' kids? I mean, were we of the child-producing mind, I figure Mrs. F and I could afford to have two and still give them the stuff they needed. We both make decent money and two would be the limit, the point where we would have to begin shortchanging them on the things that really mattered; education, nutrition, health care.

Are these people independently wealthy? I doubt all of them are. So tell me, what are these kids in huge families missing out on? I know, if children are loved it shouldn't matter how much money is available, and I agree. But this isn't 1906. It's 2006, and you can't grow food to support yourselves in your backyard. Most people can't build their own house, or work on their own cars. There are expenses that can't be avoided in this day and age.

What if these folks fall into the category of the 46 million who don't have health insurance? I'm sure it's real difficult to look into your sick kid's eyes and tell him you can't afford to take him to the doctor.

And what about other stuff? My parents took two weeks vacation in the summer every year, the years I wasn't in Germany. One week would be spent in the Catskills, the other would be spent taking me to places that would be educational. Mystic Seaport in Connecticut, Howe Caverns in Upstate New York, Boston and Philadelphia to learn about the foundations of this nation, Gettysburg to give me a sense of what it meant to fight against one's own (amazingly, this from two naturalized citizens but I digress). I learned a lot that's helped me later in life on those trips.

My point is that while you're following God's plan to be fertile, where do you find the time to raise your kids (especially when mom's on her back all the time, spittin' 'em out)? Where do you find the money to buy them the tools to become productive, responsible, and successful adults? I don't get it. Maybe I'm missing something but I thought you wanted to give your kids the best and it seems to me that 8, 9, 10, or fifteen children isn't the way to do it, no matter what God says.