Dippin' the Bishop

I read this at Yahoo!News:

Bishop would deny Communion to Giuliani

ST. LOUIS - Roman Catholic Archbishop Raymond Burke, who made headlines last presidential season by saying he'd refuse Holy Communion to John Kerry, has his eye on Rudy Giuliani this year. Giuliani's response: "Archbishops have a right to their opinion."

Burke, the archbishop of St. Louis, was asked if he would deny Communion to Giuliani or any other presidential candidate who supports abortion rights.

It got me to thinkin' (!!!).

First of all, this clown priest is just looking for publicity. If he'da thought this through, he would realize, if he really believes his own Catholic misinformative oppressive crap, that Giuliani is going to go to Hell anyway just for taking communion. If Giuliani is as good a mackerel snapper as he claims he is, he won't even try. If he takes communion just as a photo-op to show how religious he is, he compounds his 'sin'.

I ain't exactly worried about what happens to JulieAnnie's soul. He ain't got one, near as I can figure.

Now, according to Cat'lick occultism ritual dogma, handed down to keep the faithful in line for centuries, in order to properly cannibalize the transubstantiated Lord by means of the most tasteless little cookie ever devised, your soul has to be in a state of grace, i.e. free of sin. You do this by confessing your sins to a priest, out loud, in person, upon completion of which he makes you pay a small fine in the form of a penance, usually some rote prayers. I can't imagine what sins old Italian and Mexican ladies could commit, but I've seen them flat fuckin' melt their rosaries doing this.

There's a lot of funny jokes about penances, like gargling with holy water to pay off for giving a blow job, but I digress...

Think for a moment of the priest who has to sit, usually on Thursday or Saturday nights, in a small confessional booth, in the dark, and wait for people to come tell him the weirdest shit so he can absolve them. I wonder what politicians confess to? They never tell the truth anyway. Can you imagine listening, to Repugs in particular, tell you about their sins? No wonder these guys are horny for young boys!

The priests know what's going to happen. In preparation, to help avoid the occasion of sin, they should put about forty pounds of ice in the holy water font ahead of time. After they get all worked up listening to the sleazy details of their parishioners' foibles and need a 'cooling-off period', they should take their Standing Bishops and dip them in it.

Come to think of it, the 'weenie shrinker' penance is something the priest and his political parishioner could do together. It would help keep sleazy hypocritical behavior off the streets and in churches and the Capitol where it belongs.

Update:

It's funny how things work sometimes, but I swear I didn't see this article in Time until after I took my my tongue out of my cheek from dashing off the above.

Increasingly, it seems the only thing U.S. Catholics confess these days is that they rarely if ever confess.
...

The fading away of one of Catholicism's best-known traditions has finally gotten alarming enough that bishops have begun turning to modern marketing tools to reverse it.

Any revival effort has a long way to go. Confession has been in steady decline for decades. Reasons range from long-standing doubts about church teachings to the current obsession with public mea culpas that have largely supplanted the confessional booth. [...]

The church's sexual-abuse scandal has also taken its toll. Catholics felt that the bishops--many of them accused of enabling pedophile priests--were arrogantly evading the same kind of penance they demand from their flocks.

I'm glad a big outfit like Time got my point...

...and some priests are even hearing confessions in venues likes shopping malls.

Near Victoria's Secret I hope...

Who says irony is dead? Ha!