George W. Bush's State of the Union (SOTU) speeches have been the basis for a new kind of drinking game for several years now, basically because the things have always needed some kind of actual substance from somewhere, and because it was a good way to dull the pain of it all. The rules: 1. When he says the word "terra" or "terra-ists," take a drink. 2. When he says "tax cuts," take a drink. 3. When he says "Iraq," take a drink. 4. When he says "nook-yuh-lerr," take a drink and a shot and a good swift kick to the head. Et cetera.
But that's just one night out of the year. Reality has proven to be far more alcoholic in nature. For seven years now, the whole phenomenon of this government has been one long drinking game played out each and every day. The rules of this game? 1. Say the words, "George W. Bush is in charge of the country." 2. Turn off the TV. 3. Just drink.
Sounds familiar, right? Just about everyone has played that game a time or two by now. We have endured seven Bush SOTU speeches as of last night. Seven years worth of lies, carnage, greed, disgrace, failure, ignominy, calamity heaped upon calamity heaped upon calamity for more than two thousand five hundred days now, with three hundred and fifty seven more days still to go.
Seven speeches. Seven years.
No more.
Take your drink. Take your shot. Don't forget your kick to the head: Each and every single one of those comprehensively-debunked claims can still be found on the White House web site.
We have to put up with this man and his people for less than a year, or so most people believe. A story on today's Washington Post front page by Michael Abramowitz, however, reeled off a laundry list of pre-speech challenges for Bush that was capped by this line: "That is the problem Bush faces as he prepares to deliver his seventh and probably final State of the Union address tonight."
"Probably final"?
"Probably final"?!
Drink.
It had fuckin' well better be his 'final'. 1.20.09 is getting to be a sacred number to me, a mantra of the end of the nightmare. It had better happen as scheduled.
Om onetwennyohnine. Om...
Update:
From the WaPo Politics Hour:
(A question from) Washington: Today's front page story on the president's speech tonight states that this will be Bush's "seventh and probably final" State of the Union address. Is there a coup in the works, or is that an error?
...
Peter Baker: Here's the story I was just mentioning. We say "probably final" because in the past, presidents used to give a lame-duck State of the Union address on their way out of office. That hasn't been common in the past few decades, but there's nothing to say he couldn't do that if he chose. We've asked the White House about this and they say they think it's probably his last one too, though they didn't rule anything out entirely.
The reason I took Pitt's piece the way I did is because I don't rule anything out from that prick either.
Om...
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