Dick Armey: Obama Forcing BP to Pay Damages to Gulf Oil Victims is… Unconstitutional?
While the existence of numerous species of fish, birds, and other animals are being threatened by the BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico – to say nothing of the livelihoods of thousands of humans – one particularly stubborn creature is not only surviving but possibly thriving: the right-wing loon.
“There are all kinds of room in the Constitution for these roles to be taken up,” he said. “But it would begin with this: any law that extends the power of the state should be first judged against the Constitution… If I go park my truck on your yard, you don’t call the mayor, you call your lawyer and say we’ll settle this in the courts.”
Actually, Dick, if you parked your truck in my yard, my first call would be to you, asking you to move it, because I would assume that you, as an adult, would recognize what an assholish thing you had done and would be willing to rectify it. Since that would apparently be expecting too much of you, my next call would be to the police department, not my goddamned lawyer, because you would be violating the law. I sure as hell wouldn’t wait for the month or more it would take for this case to get before a judge. Hell, by then, you would probably have moved the truck from my lawn anyway.
There's more, but it's obvious that Armey The Head Teabagger runs in the rarefied atmosphere of lawyers up there in his political/high finance world and doesn't quite get how us little people do things.
The Blue Wave writer said it right, but he's pretty straight arrow.
For one thing, nobody but Dick Armey is stupid enough to park a truck in somebody's yard without permission, and certainly not stupid enough to walk away from it. If I had to deal with it, other than the obvious of catching the guy and telling him to move his goddam load outta my yard toot fuckin' sweet or there was gonna be trouble and let's get it over with, I'd do it in one of two ways.
First, if I just wanted the goddam thing outta my yard and I didn't wanta fuck with it, I'd just call ol' Edgar at Dependable Tow and have him come get it. As the property owner I can do that. It'd cost the owner about $300, more if I tell Edgar it belongs to a rich asshole. Edgar'd kick me down some change and everybody's happy but the truck's owner.
The second way, if I did wanta fuck with it is: Parking in my yard without permission is fine. It costs $300 (or whatever), per day, and I've got a whole buncha parts over here that I know will fit your now non-running truck, asshole, to ensure I get paid. Go get your money and come back. Bring some tools. Mechanic work's extra. If it takes you more than 5 days, not only do you owe me $1500, and it's only gonna go up, I'm gonna lien sale the sonuvabitch as an abandoned vehicle and sell it for whatever I can get for it. You can have it back anytime during the lien sale process at $300 a day. Or you can buy it back from whomever for whatever they want for it.
Actually, I have to send a registered letter to the owner of record and he can stop the lien sale process. The mail to him and back to DMV and back to me takes several days. If he does that, I take him to Small Claims Court. No lawyers. This all takes time and I have the truck in my possession. See "$300/day". Did I mention that I'm retired and have plenty of time for all this?
Lawyers as the answer for something like that. What a fuckin' outta touch asshole Armey is. But we knew that.
There's actually a third way to deal with it that would really be fun, especially if it was Armey's. Move the truck off my property and get Fixer over here to show me his specialty of how to catastrophically disassemble a truck with the parts all landing in specific grid squares. Or counties.
Truck? In my yard? What truck? I don't see no truck. 'Scuse me, pal, I gotta fill in this little crater here. Heh.
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