Ran into my old buddy Jimmy D today. He imparted this on me:
Guy is running down the street, huffing and puffing. He comes upon a nun, in full habit, and stops; looks at her and says "Sister, I'm requesting asylum, the cops are chasing me and I need a place to hide. Can I crawl under your skirts until they go away?"
The nun looks around and sees a couple Army MPs turning the corner. She says "Quick, get under there."
The MPs get to her and the sergeant asks "Sister, did you see a guy come running past here?"
The nun says "Yes, he went that way." And she points up the street.
The sergeant doffs his cap and says "Thank you, Sister." And they take off up the block.
Guy crawls out from under the nun's skirt and says "Thank you, Sister, I'm gonna make a donation this Sunday."
Nun considers him and asks "If you don't mind me asking, what do they want you for?"
He says "I'm a GI and I'm AWOL. I've done two tours in Iraq and two tours in Afghanistan and I ain't going back. They've been chasing me for a week."
Nun says "God will forgive you. God wants peace."
He says "Thank you, Sister, that means a lot." He looks her up and down and says "If you don't mind me saying, while I was under your skirt, I noticed you had a nice set of legs."
She looks at him and smiles, and says "If you would have looked a little higher, you would have seen a great set of balls too. I ain't going back to Afghanistan either."