You got to love The Right. Every single study and poll, every one, shows independents turned off by cultural- values wars; the same way chalk sidewalk drawings dissolve in a thunderstorm. And they try and they try and they try but they just can't help themselves. Like active moral volcanoes with a bad case of the hiccups, conservatives erupt and spew and god help any innocent bystander that gets in the way of their lava of virtuousness. That includes themselves.
Oh, they talk about getting the government out of people's business. But when its bedroom business or women's body businesses, an infatuation with perceived iniquity overcomes them. Especially businesses into which tab A is not destined for slot B; which could possibly offend some busybody. That's when their business becomes the business of judging other people's business. And business is good.
Knowing better, but unable to control his compulsion, Speaker John Boehner (R- $$$) swoopingly interrupted his budget putsch, hiring a law firm to argue on behalf of the Defense of Marriage Act. President Obama declared it unconstitutional and indefensible, so the Speaker is taking it unto himself to ensure equal rights are denied to same sex relationships. Apparently, certain people's happiness makes him miserable.
Previously, the GOP tried lathering their moral superiority onto the budget bill. That's when Jon Kyl (R- Wackyville) went on the floor of the Senate to say abortions "are well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does." And he was close. Off by 87%. Just a bit outside. Later, Kyl's office recanted saying "his remark was not intended to be a factual statement." Of course. Who would ever think it was? After all, he is a known politician.
With no innards left, leaping onto the anti- abortion bandwagon with talons extended, Michele Bachmann called Planned Parenthood the Lenscrafters of abortion, which by all rights allows you to call the Heritage Foundation the Orange Julius of the death penalty. Congressman Bachmann, the Home Depot of ridiculously overwrought indignation. Making the Republican Party itself, the Luigi's Shoe Repair of self inflicted gunshot wounds to the chest.
I hope they shoot so many holes in themselves they automatically, like a player piano, whistle "Red River Valley" in a breeze and maybe "Onward Christian Soldiers" in a gale. Heh.
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