In honor of Fixer's tasks today, I offer a really old joke.
Pierre, the greatest lumberjack in all of Canada, is trying out for a new job. He hasn't quite got his prospective employer won over yet so he gets out his A game.
"I am Pierre, greatest lumberjack in all of Ca-na-da! You blindfold Pierre and put piece of wood in front of him. Pierre will tell you everything about this wood!"
The first piece of wood is offered up to the blindfolded Pierre. He bends over and sniffs it from one end to the other.
"Is four by four post, six feet long, Douglas fir from western Oregon."
Pretty impressive, thinks the employer and sets out another one. Pierre does his stuff.
"Is fence post, yellow pine from Sawtooth Range of Idaho."
By now the employer is well and truly impressed. He decides to give Pierre a real challenge. He calls in his secretary and has her strip naked and assume the position.
The still blindfolded Pierre sniffs the subject from one end to the other and back again. With a very puzzled look on his face, he announces,
"Is very odd. Please to turn wood over."
The secretary obliges and Pierre sniffs again. He rises to the full upright position with a big grin from ear to ear.
"Ha! You try to fool Pierre! Is shithouse door off tuna boat!"