Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Memo to the South: Go Ahead, Secede Already!

This is along ideological and philosophical lines instead of the practical line of not having to prop the southern takers up any more, but worth a read. Pretty tongue in cheek, too. At least I hope it is. They can go ahead and secede for all I care, but this guy is kind of an elitist jerk about it.

Daily Beast

But I don’t want to appear blindly partisan—a sundering of the union would make the other half of America equally fulfilled. The red-state republic could finally establish a theocracy in which the fundamentalist Christian church would legislate all the important aspects of civic life. It could either send its illegal and/or legal immigrants northward or reinstitute a reformed system of indenture whereby immigrants are purchased by bona fide citizens who have a fully modernized respect for private property. It could, taking the lead from the pioneering Kansas legislature, abolish the income tax, raising revenue from, for example, a “pay to work” program. It could ban abortion in all instances, including rape and incest, and use the growing population of orphans to establish an impressive standing army.

Fuck Kansas, and fuck the horse it rode (into the Union) on.
...

The. Country. Is. Split. Right. Down. The. Middle. May I, with the subtlety of cannonballs falling upon Fort Sumter, suggest that we stop using the anodyne categories of red and blue, and start calling the two sides “Confederate” and “Union,” which is what they really are?
...

Little Czechoslovakia split itself in two; why can’t we?
I'd like to let them secede for a "trial period". See how long it takes them to go totally third world and want to come crawling back to a rich nation that will support them like they're used to.

They can come back, but this time there will be RULES. Mostly about how ignorance and rule by religion and hate will no longer be tolerated.

9 comments:

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DBK said...

WTF? You have been spammed to the max.

As for secession, given the "red" state dependence on federal funding, most of which comes from "blue" states, it wouldn't break my heart or wallet to see the "red" states secede.

Gordon said...

I get a lot more spam since Fixer left.

The southern states know good and damn well where their sustenance comes from. They flap their lips but they're not going anywhere.

DBK said...

If the deficit screechers were sincere, the South would get it's support cut to the bone and they'd all starve. And I would cry for them...for a few min..sec..nah. I wouldn't cry for them at all.

The tornado sirens are going off. It's raining and not windy at all, so I don't know what this is about, but I'd better go see if there's a funnel-cloud outside and head to the basement.

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