Tuesday, June 4, 2013

"I'm Tired Of Transgressive Edgeplay" By Michele Bachmann

Goblinbooks is closing in on Rude Pundit territory! Ya might wanta ice down the ol' unit before reading!

My fellow Americans: I wanted to be honest about why I'm not running for reelection. The truth is I'm tired. Tired of all of it. When I started this job I thought I'd found the purest form of kink possible, something that would never ever get boring. But it's time to admit it: It just doesn't ring Michele's joy-buzzer the way it used to....

[...] I toyed with different kinds of risk-aware stuff: a lot of humiliation and fear play. Then I did some suffocation, some punishment shaving, a little fire cupping... and a few kidnapping scenarios that got deep into some dark territory. But nothing, absolutely nothing, got my rocks off like being a socially conservative Republican. I thought the thrill would last forever. I really did.

Do you know what it's like to pass a law that straps a chastity belt around millions of people you don't even know? Or to start talking smack about how some random Muslim person might be part of a terrorist fifth column - and there's no way to prove he or she isn't of course, so they just have to live in a nightmare of paranoia you created? I choked out a whole roomful of sorority girls once and locked them in a storage unit. But what I did in Congress over these past few years was a thousand times more intense. I think rightwing politicians are exploring the last really shocking and unpredictable kind of dominance work in the whole world. Telling someone their entire life is going to be destroyed because I have these weird religious beliefs... that is one sick, hot ball of deviance right there. Putting a district court judge in pony-leather doesn't even come close.

And whoever moves into my old office: You might want to bleach it down. Thoroughly. Every surface. Stuff happened there.
Bleach! On the rocks...


WhyNot said...

Lol, very nicely written. Are you a writer like Fixer? I envy ppl who can use words with such skill, particularly when they blend criticism and sarcasm.

My blog was shut down thanks to some fucking cunt named Jeanette Lucey, an old born again bitch from Rock Hill, Carolina - the fatest most racist jesus cock sucking bitch from hell in America by far.

Oh well, while it really pissed me off at first, I don't really care that much any longer. The only thing I regret is the hilarious fun I used to have on the blog with a small bunch of friends who live far from me. Originally, 12 years ago or so, when my wife and I started our first blog, it was fiercely socio political. But as time went by, I became to realize it was one big fucking waste of time: for the ppl who are of similar viewpoints, it's like preaching to the converted; and as to the people of opposite minds, they only read half of the first paragraph of the first article you publish which they come across, and then never come back again.

But don't let me discourage you; it's still comforting to see that not every one is a retarded born-again jesus cock sucking repugnican fuckwit, lol.

All the best, sincerely!

Gordon said...

I'm not a writer like Fixer. I would like to be but it's too much work.