Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Crashing Glitching Bores

Will Durst on the Obamacare rollout mess hearings.

The sight of these grandfatherly types who couldn't tell a glitch from a Sneetch pretending to speak conversantly about something they have the same familiarity with as a calico cat does with calculus makes keeping a straight face difficult. Especially considering their extreme remonstrations of concern, which sound similar to cobras worrying that the mouse door is often unlocked.

Thing is, they're perfectly right. The rollout went less smooth than a 40 foot square steel donut rumbling down a pressed tin bridge. Democrats agree the website technology for Obamacare is so outdated it looks like Health and Human Services rescued it from Compuserve's trash using a dial-up modem. There are at least six or 17 areas of this country where a class of fifth graders could have constructed a more navigable site during study hall.

The ultimate techie nightmare. More crashes than Windows Vista through 27 stories of skylights. A health care portal with all the compassion and efficiency of the DMV. Coming soon: leeches. Although many claim that plenty of licensed barbers are already caucusing with the House majority. Face it, if the government created the Cloud, it would be called the Smog and leak antifreeze.

But by focusing their attention on the website, the GOP seems to be signaling they've accepted Obamacare, at least in theory. After trying to repeal it 50 times then shutting down the government in an attempt to defund it, they are finally, reluctantly, on board. And just want to straighten things out by letting the American people know this is the worst legislation in the history of ever.

In other words, they've graduated to complaining about the choice of the font on the menu and not the ingredients of the feast.


WhyNot said...

"so outdated it looks like Health and Human Services rescued it from Compuserve's trash using a dial-up modem."

Lolol, gee, I remember... decades ago... CompuFuckingServe... shivers down my spine, the ultimate computer nightmare. Do they still exist?

"More crashes than Windows Vista through 27 stories of skylights."

ROFLMAO, oh my, this is too good! Mind you, Vista is only marginally worse than Windows 7. The 2 worst operating systems the computer age has ever witnessed.

I had a girlfriend who had bought a brand new superduper notebook; huge Toshiba thing, monster super-high-res LCD screen, Pentium 5 @ 3 GHz, 3GB of RAM - truly a marvel of hardware technology.

Alas... the puter came with Vista preinstalled - not only on HDD but part of it on ROM on the motherboard as well!!! Result? You couldn't even piss Vista off and install XP or any other OS you liked; you were STUCK forever with fucking Vista.

Bill Gates is not only the richest greediest man on the planet, is also the most retarded fuckwit. Hands down!

Must be a born-again repugnican.

Gordon said...

I've still got Windows XP. Gates has given away $Billion$ to good causes so I have nothing bad to say about him personally.