From the "Latest Headlines" crawl:
Russian Olympic biathlon team seizes control of Crimes
'12 Years A Slaveowner' wins Hoodie at KKK Awards
Senate cafeteria replaces Russian dressing with Thousand Island dressing
UKRAINE CRISIS THREATENS NEW COLD WAR
Hegel orders all nuclear forces to immediately stop taking drugs and try to pass their proficiency exams without cheating.
Arizona Governor Vetoes Bill Allowing Businesses to Refuse Service to Gays
Says God told her to do it, “or lose the Super Bowl.”
Swiss Bank Helped Rich Evade Taxes
Also, this winter in Switzerland, it snowed.
Ukraine: Abandoned Yanukovych Estate Opened to Public
Used same decorator as Saddam, Qaddafi.