Sea World to Phase Out Killer Whale Shows
Shamu will be given a desk job.
Trump Says He'll Form a “Deportation Force”
Will hire men who need work, like those who hang around Home Depot parking lots.
After Hastert Pleads Guilty in Hush Money Scheme, Portrait Removed From Hallway Outside Chamber
“Hastert Rule” will be changed to name of Republican lawmaker not guilty of ethics charges, once one is found.
Google Self-Driving Car Pulled Over for Driving Too Slowly
Refuses to produce license or registration, fails breathalyzer test, cited for non-compliance, resisting arrest.