A Political Act

From BuzzFlash:

On March 8, BuzzFlash ran an interview with Al Franken. The interview included this exchange:

BuzzFlash: You must be ecstatic that you didn't do an interview for the film "The Aristocrats." Are you familiar with the film?

Al Franken: I am. But I haven't worked up my "aristocrat." I suppose if I'd been asked to, I would have worked one up.

BuzzFlash: After you get elected, maybe you'll have to come up with the Senate version.

Al Franken: On the floor of the Senate - tell the aristocrat joke. I'd be the first senator to do that.

The problem with this is that if he actually told The Aristocrats joke on the Senate floor, he'd be escorted off in handcuffs and probably recalled in a landslide. Which is a shame, because it could go down in history as the only filibuster anyone actually listened to.

With that in mind, I humbly offer my take on this timeless joke:

The rest is Below the Fold.

Cars? Huh?

I am so late today. A week off work and I'm so out of it. Ranting will begin when I get home.

Norton out

NYTimes

Like her mentor, James Watt, the maniacally anti-environmental interior secretary under Ronald Reagan, Gale Norton came to Washington convinced that the pendulum of public policy had swung too far in favor of the protection of America's natural resources at the expense of their commercial exploitation - especially by the oil, natural gas and mining industries.

Ms. Norton has been an extraordinarily faithful steward of the Bush agenda - but not, we are sad to say, of the lands she was obliged to protect.

She was probably canned for not selling off our country fast enough. Either that or, like her namesake Norton motorcycle, she leaked oil on the Chimp's Oval Office rug.

Woman of Mass Derision

For all you Maureen Dowd fans out there, and you know who you are, there's a good article about her in the Guardian.

Dowd was always irreverent, but as the world turned darker, so her columns took on a grotesque flamboyance, became more a satirical cabaret - she put a spanner in the works of truthiness and made the calamitous shatteringly funny. "Vice" was Cheney - since the incident in which he shot his hunting partner, he's also now Shooter; General Karl is Karl Rove, Bush's chief of staff; Richard Perle, one of the most committed of the neocons, was the Prince of Darkness; W moved from the Oedipal Boy King to Top Gun. In April 2004 Dowd wrote her real scorcher, Bushworld, which later became the name of her collection of writings on the Bush administrations. It is a litany of deadpan statements, acidly and relentlessly pointing up the gap between the Bushies' reality and the real world: "In Bushworld, our troops go to war and get killed, but you never see the bodies coming home ... In Bushworld, the CIA says it can't find out whether there are WMD in Iraq unless we invade on the grounds that there are WMD."

As a friend of mine says as his secret to success, "Cold steel, hard cash, dry socks - and stay away from red-headed women!"

Fat chance, pal.

Feingold

I was gonna blog it but Ed beat me to it. Feingold is Ed's boy after all. Tell you what. If Russ runs in '08, he's got my vote.

Generals

Michael Gordon of the NYT and General Bernard Trainor (USMC Ret.) on Press the Meat with Timmy shilling their book about Iraq. The overwheling reason why I won't read it. Bernie Trainor to Timmy:

No one knew [in 2003] we'd be bogged down this long in Iraq.

I knew it, you fucking dickhead, and I was a lowly buck sergeant. Lotsa people knew it when the Chimp started rattling his sabre. How the fuck did you get to be a general and how many troops did you lose thanks to your stupidity? Moron.

Update:

Another moron on Wolfie, Sen. John Warner (R-Huh?) on 'redeployment' of U.S. forces in Iraq.

The Iraqis should have the primary responsibility of putting down the insurgency.

Another clueless fool who doesn't grasp the situation on the ground. Read my lips, shithead. There are no Iraqi units capable of operating on their own. Remember how Vietnam ended, you twit? We threw away 58,000 American lives for nothing and you seem bent on doing it again.

A game of Risk

Dave Johnson says it well:

...and then these darn things that never came up in the board game start happening and just mess everything UP for you. Like private sectarian militias - where are THEY in the board game, anyway?! And civil wars! There's no civil wars in Risk! And IEDs. And car bombs in the middle of crowds of police recruits. And you don't even NEED body armor in Risk...

Remember when the Repukes said 'the adults are in charge now'? Not adults, just frustrated college boys who can't get laid.

Dr. Strangedeal

The Economist [sub req'd] has some serious concerns about Bush's India nuke deal:

...This week America and others were insisting at the International Atomic Energy Agency that Iran not be allowed to bend the anti-nuclear rules out of shape to further what are assumed to be its weapons ambitions. So why does Mr Bush propose doing just that for already nuclear-armed India?...

But it is one thing to have as broad and close a friendship with a nuclear India as the anti-nuclear rules allow. That is already in both countries' interests. It is quite another to knock aside the rules for India's sake. To be sure, Mr Bush is not proposing that other nuclear dabblers be given a welcome if they are persistent enough to succeed-though that will be the message Iran prefers to hear this week. Rather, he wants democratic, friendly, law-abiding India to be treated as an exception by Congress, which must first amend America's own laws if the deal is to go through, and by others in the NSG.

The problem here is that India could instead prove the exception that fatally weakens the rules. The devil is both in the deal's troubling detail, and in its likely knock-on effects.

India may not have signed the NPT, but America has. In doing so, it promised not to help other countries with their nuclear-weapons tinkering. It also pioneered the reinforcing principle that only countries that have all their nuclear facilities under international safeguards (India doesn't now and won't in future) should benefit from trade in civilian nuclear technology. If countries were going to sign the NPT and renounce nuclear weapons themselves, they needed assurance that as many others as possible would follow suit. To encourage them, treaty rights-help in enjoying the benefits of civilian nuclear power-were withheld from those that shrugged off or ignored its obligations.

...

This will come back to bite us in the ass, just as most of the Chimp's 'leadership decisions' have. With this deal, we're beginning a whole new arms race. One, with the instability in the world today, that will surely end in tragedy.

In addition, the beautiful Katrina vanden Heuvel noticed a new move by DoD that will no doubt heighten tensions instead of diffusing them. Did Rummy put every moron in the world at DoD or do they all have to check their brains at the door when they walk into the Pentagon nowadays?

Git a rope!

This is from the Chimp's hometown newspaper:

These people stole our White House. They bastardized all four branches of our Government. They have done nothing for the People, not one thing the majority of the People have wanted.

If you haven't read between the lines, then I'll spell it out: I'm so damned pissed off I could chew nails!

You should be, too.

America and the rest of Planet Earth can't take another three years of Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rice, Rumsfeld and the rest! And they don't deserve more time.

It has been 1,914 days since the Rehnquist Supreme Court allowed this illegal oligarchy overthrow of our Government. It's high time we take it back.

Richard M. Nixon was tossed out of office for far less, and Spiro T. Agnew left the vice-presidency in disgrace over what amounted to a minor infraction compared to Cheney's dishonorable, greedy, un-American activities.

Impeach the lot of the George W. Bush and Karl Rove Cabal.

Note to Georgie: This is from the Barbarians at your Gate.

If my hometown paper said shit like that about me, I'd reconsider whatever it was they said I was doing wrong. Just before I snuck moved away in the dead of night to avoid bein' tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail. Or to avoid being the guest of honor at a necktie party.

"I'm from the government and..."

This is telling, if not particularly comforting, about our government's mindset as to what our troops need to know about cultural sensitivity in Iraq. From Liberation.fr:

Before rushing into Iraq, Captain Fick's men learned two phrases in Arabic: "Stop or I'll shoot!" and "We're here to help you."

I'm sure a great career in Federal domestic 'law enforcement' awaits these troops upon their discharge. And they can say these phrases in English, along with "Show me your papers" and "Tough shit about your door".

Today

I'm just getting ready to head off. I'll be bringing the Mrs. home this morning since the last of the pathology came back negative for cancer last night. Dr. Abu-Rustum says she's proceeding ahead of schedule in her recovery too. Yay!!!

I'd just like to thank the folks at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center for their competence, professionalism, caring, and thoughtfulness. A very impressive team who took great care of my wife and didn't have a problem with me showing up in the wee hours of the morning, 2 hours before the normal visiting hours, and hanging around for half the day. Special thanks to Ofor (yes, that's his name), the Army medic (Reservist) who just came back from Iraq and is pursuing his nursing degree while he works at Sloan as an aide. He doted on my wife, making sure she was comfortable and wanted for nothing. Thanks, man. I'm eternally in your debt, brother.

Several folks have asked where to send flowers. I'd rather, in lieu of sending anything to us, you make a donation to Sloan-Kettering for what the flowers or gift would cost. Flowers die but your gift to them can help folks who really need it.

Once again I'd like to thank all of you who've left good words and wishes in comments or who've emailed me directly. The generosity of concern has been overwhelming. Thank you on behalf or the Mrs. and Shayna.

Now we work on getting back to normal.

On message

I hear guys saying the Dems don't have a message, like my link to Matt Stoller's post this morning.

...

Yes, it's that bad. I've been told that the way to gain power in the Democratic caucus is to get elected, and then this is key, to not die. That's how you become a committee leader. And apparently to become leader you promise not to rock the boat and make sure that every gets their precious little committee assignment, regardless of merit. Listen to this pathetic podcast by Representaive Frank Pallone, who jokes about what a bad job he's doing as the Democratic member in charge of 'message'. Yes, in fact that's his job as the Communications Chairman of the Democratic Policy Committee, where he "coordinates the party's message on the floor of the House of Representatives."

...

And then guys like Bill Press who get all incensed and proceed to lay out the Dem agenda:

...

Looking at mid-term elections of 2006, political reporters are incapable of writing about all the monumental screw-ups of George Bush and Republicans, without immediately adding: Yeah, but Democrats are worse.

...

Look, they might have a plan and an agenda. They might even have a message. But it's not the correct message. This is what should be beaten like a rented mule until Election Day:

The Republican Party is an organized criminal enterprise.

That's it. Simple. One coordinated message that comes out of every Dem pie hole whenever they're in front of a camera. I don't have to give examples, pick a couple from the big pile. DeLay, Abramoff, Cunningham, Halliburton, Iraq, New Orleans and tie 'em all together with the money they've stolen from the treasury and their constituents. That's the message.

...a stunning warning

From Attytood:

Sandra Day O'Connor rips into GOP, DeLay, Cornyn, and warns of the "beginnings" of dictatorship

This has to do with pols going against judges whose rulings they don't agree with and the possible outcome. It's a "should read".

Half, dammit

Half of us believe Man was spat, fully-formed, on the face of this earth by God...literally. Someone please kill me.

A Veteran's Letter to the President

Go read it at Main and Central.

Not About Brazilian Pube Jobs?

The Rude One goes off on Laura Bush. Doesn't really mean a damn thing, but it's funnier'n shit.

Unless it's "Jesus Christ, you're on fire" or "Let me lick that clean for you," the Rude Pundit doesn't give a happy monkey fuck what Laura Bush has to say.

Christ, sex between them must be like watching a circus clown fuck a balloon animal.

...Laura droned on about the Laura Bush Foundation, which is not, it turns out, a place for researching the proper care and maintenance of a Brazilian pube job...

It's not? Shit! I sent 'em money...

Enjoy.

Cultural Warmongers

No quotes, because it's hard to hold my nose and link to Pat Buchanan at the same time. He's got a good point. There, I said it (Shudder!).

Naked came the blogger

TBogg's goin' Big Time:

I guess I should let everyone in on my little secret.

I have been commissioned to write a book on blogging for a sub-major publishing house (Not Regnery. I said sub-major, not sub-human). Negotiations started several months ago, and today we finally dotted our i's and crossed our tboggs and the deal is done. I'm quite excited. Here is what you can expect:

The book is tentatively called -

An Army of Wankers: How Blogging and Technology Empower Social Maladroits to Feign Expertise, Over-Simplify Complex Arguments, and Land Face Time on Reliable Sources.

In a wide-ranging survey employing very long words containg both vowels and consonants, in addition to Venn diagrams, scratch-and-sniff panels, knock-knock jokes, and pop-ups, I will explain:

This oughta be good. Here's a sample:

Cock-headed man-whore or cock-headed journalist-whore? You make the call.

Some of the 'comments' are good too, to wit:

And be sure to use the line "between the sheets" liberally. That would spice it up AND drive the nitwits crazy.

Oh, and maybe "vagina" too.

The Amazon reviews are being composed already...

Speaking as a Social Maladroit, this is fun stuff. Go read.

Rove on track for real port deal...?

This might be a little tinfoil-hattish, but that's never stopped me before. From TPM Cafe:

Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and the hawks have done it again. The fell-through Dubai-Ports deal is a backroom deal between the White House Hawks and the prospective firms--all in a diversionary tactic to get the deal to Halliburton--one of the only American firms that can easily handle the task. The priceless element of this: Democrat Chuck Schumer believes he came up with the idea.

This is the information I have.

On the evening of December 21, 2005--Bush had just secured an extension of the Patriot act until July. He wrote a memorandum for the Secretary of Transportation, and then met privately with a few advisors (Rumsfeld, Rove, Cheney, Card) and discussed how the Patriot Act would get through. In this private discussion, Rove proposed the idea of creating a diversionary tactic through an upcoming ports deal. Cheney and Rove toyed with this idea at length, as card and Bush worked on the details of how to get the Patriot Bill into a sure-win situation with Congress. Rove noted that the next years elections would weigh heavily on the Senator's decisions vis a vis Terror, an issue which Bush had been dropping in the numbers--and seemed vulnerable. If the Democratic leaders would believe the opposition of a Islamic ports deal could be their opportunity to out-do Bush on his hiterto strongest issue--they would all but secure that the deal would fail, and they would be ahead on the issue of Terror--right before the elections. In the process, Halliburton could be subtly offered up through channels as a "lesser of two evils" alternative. Si vis pacem, para bellum

I don't know if this is true, but it wouldn't surprise me a bit. I wouldn't put anything past Rove and his chimpy little puppet.

What's true now was true then...

Paul Krugman courtesy of Tennessee Guerilla Women.

Never mind; better late than never. We should welcome the recent epiphanies by conservative commentators who have finally realized that the Bush administration isn't trustworthy. But we should guard against a conventional wisdom that seems to be taking hold in some quarters,, which says there's something praiseworthy about having initially been taken in by Mr. Bush's deceptions, even though the administration's mendacity was obvious from the beginning.

According to this view, if you're a former Bush supporter who now says, as Mr. Bartlett did at the Cato event, that "the administration lies about budget numbers," you're a brave truth-teller. But if you've been saying that since the early days of the Bush administration, you were unpleasantly shrill.

Similarly, if you're a former worshipful admirer of George W. Bush who now says, as Mr. Sullivan did at Cato, that "the people in this administration have no principles," you're taking a courageous stand. If you said the same thing back when Mr. Bush had an 80 percent approval rating, you were blinded by Bush-hatred.

And if you're a former hawk who now concedes that the administration exaggerated the threat from Iraq, you're to be applauded for your open-mindedness. But if you warned three years ago that the administration was hyping the case for war, you were a conspiracy theorist.

The truth is that everything the new wave of Bush critics has to say was obvious long ago to any commentator who was willing to look at the facts.

Modesty precludes me from including me 'n Fixer in the "old wave", but Mr. Krugman is absolutely correct. This "new wave" waited until there was absolutely no way to deny or spin their way out of the long-ago-obvious without looking like the idiots we've known they are. There's not enough Kool-aid in the world to sustain the evil charade except for the brain-dead true believers and Corporate beneficiaries.

Welcome to the club, but don't think you're going to be treated like heroes for discovering something new about Bush & Co. You won't be and you didn't. You helped keep this cabal going a lot longer than it should have, and some of us have long memories.