Oh! The Irony Horror!

Ironic Times

New Warning Issued About Obesity
To folding chair manufacturers.

Also:

Iraq War Costing U.S. $2 Billion a Week
That's "only about seven bucks per person,' says White House.

Bush to Expand Military
To fight all our new enemies.

Pelosi and Conyers -- Smarter than Impeachment-

Good alternative scenario from Rob Kall. Today's 'must read'.

A lot of people are angry with Nancy Pelosi and John Conyers because they say impeachment is not on the table. I say "thank goodness."

You see, I'm in a hurry. I want to see the big cleanup in Washington happen much faster-- including showing Cheney and Bush the door, and maybe, the prison yard. Pelosi and Conyers are doing things exactly right and they have a better chance of my goal-- removal of Bush and Cheney from office-- than if they were going the impeachment route.

At this point, the Republicans, about fifteen or sixteen of those in the senate, particularly ones up for re-election in 2008, will take a walk-- not a phone call, not e-mail-- a walk, to the oval office. They will inform the president that he must resign to save the Republican party from implosive destruction. They will tell him that to save the Republican party they are willing to join with the Democrats to impeach him out of office. They will instruct him to do the right thing for the country and save it the trauma, mostly at the expense of the Republicans, of a horrible impeachment, which is inevitable, since the most revelations about testimony and evidence on Bush has brought his ratings down to less than 20% approval rating.

Bush will, in his attempt to negotiate, ask for either no criminal sentence or a minimal one. The Dems should not let him off scott free. Bush should do time in jail and he should be fined Billions. That's right. Billions. Not only that, he should be banned from profitting from his presidency and includes making any speeches or consulting as a lobbyist. Send him to his ranch to clear brush.

With any luck, he'll soon be clearing other people's brush. For minimum wage.

Bottom line-- I am quite comfortable that impeachment is off the table. Impeachment did not bring down Nixon. Hearings and investigations did. I am fine with all the people advocating for hearings. Their pressure will motivate the Conyers and Waxmans in congress to do their investigations, knowing they are on the same page as the griping impeachment advocates. I am confident that Pelosi, Conyers, Waxman and enough other members of congress want Bush out as much as we do. They just know that there's a better way and they're executing that strategy.

So, if you've been castigating and berating Pelosi and Conyers, don't get hung up on the "I" word. It's the "O" word that's important and what we really want anyway. No, not orgasm. That will come afterward. THe "O" stands for OUT. We want them out and there is no doubt in my mind that Pelosi and Conyers have every plan to do what it takes to help the Republicans figure out that they have no choice but to force both Bush AND Cheney out. Come January 2008 there's a great chance we will be dealing with the "C" and "A" words-- cleanup and appointments. These will be exciting times.

Damn, it's drafty in here with my pants around my ankles!

Oh, Boy! Another Bush War!

International Herald Tribune

NAIROBI: Undeterred by the horrors and setbacks in Iraq, Afghanistan and Lebanon, the Bush administration has opened another battlefront in the Muslim world. With full U.S. backing and military training, at least 15,000 Ethiopian troops have entered Somalia in an illegal war of aggression against the Union of Islamic Courts, which controls almost the entire south of the country.

As with Iraq in 2003, the United States has cast this as a war to curtail terrorism, but its real goal is to obtain a direct foothold in a highly strategic region by establishing a client regime there. The Horn of Africa is newly oil-rich (my em), and lies just miles from Saudi Arabia, overlooking the daily passage of large numbers of oil tankers and warships through the Red Sea. General John Abizaid, the current U.S. military chief of the Iraq war, was in Ethiopia this month, and President Hu Jintao of China visited Kenya, Sudan and Ethiopia earlier this year to pursue oil and trade agreements.

Since 1993, there had been no Security Council interest in sending peacekeepers to Somalia, but as peace and order took hold, a multilateral force was suddenly deemed necessary - because it was the Islamic Courts Union that had brought about this stability. Astonishingly, the Islamists had succeeded in defeating the warlords primarily through rallying people to their side by creating law and order through the application of Shariah law, which Somalis universally practice.

The transitional government, on the other hand, is dominated by the warlords and terrorists who drove out American forces in 1993. Organized in Kenya by U.S. regional allies, it is so completely devoid of internal support that it has turned to Somalia's arch- enemy, Ethiopia, for assistance.

Go read the rest of the article.

It appears as if we can train the military of one country enough to invade another country a lot faster than we can train Iraqis to maintain control of their own country. Which Bush doesn't really want them to anyway, because we might have to leave all that oil in the hands of its (gasp!) owners.

I guess Muslim law and order in a country isn't near as good as U.S.-imposed chaos. Especially with all that oil up for grabs.

Update:

Houston Chronicle

WASHINGTON - The U.S. signaled its support Tuesday for Ethiopia's offensive in Somalia, calling it a response to "aggression" by Islamists who since the summer have been consolidating power in the country.

Tuesday, a day after an Ethiopian jet strafed the airport in the Somali capital of Mogadishu, the State Department issued internal guidance to staff members, instructing officials to play down the invasion in public statements.

"Should the press focus on the role of Ethiopia inside Somalia," read a copy of the guidelines given to The New York Times by a U.S. official here, "emphasize that this is a distraction from the issue of dialogue between the TFIs and Islamic courts."

TFI is an abbreviation for the weak transitional government in Somalia.

"The press must not be allowed to make this about Ethiopia, or Ethiopia violating the territorial integrity of Somalia," the guidance said.

Truth is not Bush administration policy.

Fridge Magnet Review

If you are seeking a mate with values of honesty, sensitivity, compassion -- and a person who is not a hypocrite, the choice is easy.

Don't marry a Republican, at least not a Republican elected official.

There might be some camp followers of the GOP with values of decency, but then they're dumb, because if they can't see that their party leaders and President are the anithesis of moral and ethical decision making, then they have a rock for a brain.

So, this cartoon magnet makes it clear. It's hard for an honest, moral person to love a Republican.

It's important to maintain your moral standards -- and your dignity.

It's okay to have a meaningless fling with a Republican - and the ones who champion monogamy appear to be the biggest bed hoppers -- just don't marry one.

You can get one at BuzzFlash.

If you're already married to a Repug, God help you, and remember, it's still illegal to murder them in their beds. For a while yet, anyway. The Dixie Chicks have some advice that might help.

Helping the Poor, the British Way

Paul Krugman

It's the season for charitable giving. And far too many Americans, particularly children, need that charity.

Scenes of a devastated New Orleans reminded us that many of our fellow citizens remain poor, four decades after L.B.J. declared war on poverty. But I'm not sure whether people understand how little progress we've made. In 1969, fewer than one in every seven American children lived below the poverty line. Last year, although the country was far wealthier, more than one in every six American children were poor.

And there's no excuse for our lack of progress. Just look at what the British government has accomplished over the last decade.

Just look.

What are the lessons to be learned from across the pond?

First, government truly can be a force for good. Decades of propaganda have conditioned many Americans to assume that government is always incompetent - and the current administration has done its best to turn that into a self-fulfilling prophecy. But the Blair years have shown that a government that seriously tries to reduce poverty can achieve a lot.

Second, it really helps to have politicians who are serious about governing, rather than devoting themselves entirely to amassing power and rewarding cronies.

While researching this article, I was startled by the sheer rationality of British policy discussion, as compared with the cynical posturing that passes for policy discourse in George Bush's America. Instead of making grandiose promises that are quickly forgotten - like Mr. Bush's promise of "bold action" to confront poverty after Hurricane Katrina - British Labor politicians propose specific policies with well-defined goals. And when actual results fall short of those goals, they face the facts rather than trying to suppress them and sliming the critics.

The moral of my Christmas story is that fighting poverty isn't easy, but it can be done. Giving in to cynicism and accepting the persistence of widespread poverty even as the rich get ever richer is a choice that our politicians have made. And we should be ashamed of that choice.

Damn right we should be ashamed of the decisions our politicians, in the richest country on Earth, have made. I guess they feel it's better to let people starve, and pander to rich contributors, than to do the right things and be labeled "socialists". Or worse, real Christians.

364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas...

I'm ba-ack. I hope everybody had a nice enough Christmas that they aren't stressed-out worse than before.

The only thing that gets to me is the driving. Due to the timing of Christmas this year, Northern California moved south and Southern California moved north all at the same time. Probably a good thing. If one end of the state had got all bunched up we'da probably had a big tilt and flung everybody into the ocean. Hmmm...on second thought....

Everybody makes mistakes, but 90% of the drivers do OK, and the remainder are about equally split between people who are so damned important that traffic laws and the laws of physics and common courtesy just don't apply to them and fuck you, and of graduates of Mrs. Fujimoto's Live Bait, Sushi, 'Ichi Ban' Driving School And Oban Society. Their motto is, "Just off boat? Got Rexus SUV? Never Drive Befo'? No Probrem! Teach Drive Onry Take Ten Minutes!". I'm absolutely amazed at the number of people who can't see over the steering wheel. Anyway, driving half the length of this state is tiring, but only if you pay attention to what you're doing, and to what a whole lotta folks around you oughta be doing but ain't, I guess. It's a lot easier in a modern pickup than on a motorcycle, though. I don't give it 100% in the truck - I back off and listen to the stereo with 1%.

The last fifty miles home were after dark, rain and snow, immense amount of traffic, nose-to-tail city drivers. I've posted about this before, but there were no incidents, just scarier'n shit for me. We got to watch one guy learn a little about driving on a snow-covered Interstate on the uphill stretch just before Donner Summit (7239'). I have no idea what prompted it, but his headlights went from straight ahead to about 7 o'clock and then back around to about 5 o'clock. Twice. In traffic. His lights stayed in a tight arc and the rear of the car did all the swinging. He didn't quite spin it, and he didn't hit anything, but I bet the inside of that car didn't smell very good. If he even noticed.

I was pretty much off the internets. Our motel doesn't have its own WiFi, and though there's a wireless signal there that my computer picked up, it didn't work very well. Due to a strange combination of available phone cables, the only way I could have sat at the desk and done dial-up was to stretch all the cords so tight I could have plucked them and sent a musical greeting. Sitting on the bed and doing this shit doesn't work for me. So, to all you folks who have told me to "shut up" - Merry Christmas!

The family get-together was a different bunch to some extent. Since my sister-in-law doesn't feel like doing it anymore, she passed the duty to her eldest daughter and there's more than one family in attendance now. It was fun. Also fun is watching Eldest Daughter learn to cook at age 45...

Different folks brought covered dishes. Eldest Daughter's mother-in-law makes the best green bean casserole I've ever had, and Daughter No. 2's husband makes the deadliest mashed potatoes. I think the recipe goes something like "one smashed potato...two pounds of butter...second smashed potato...three kinds of cheese, one pound each. Serve. Dial 911." I eschewed the third helping of those because I felt the first two wrapping themselves around my heart!

Mrs. G volunteered me to bring dessert, so I'm Pie Czar. I get 'em from Coco's in Pismo Beach. Easy. Got one too many and had to bring it home. Darn...

One of the best moves Mrs. G's family has made in recent years is for the adults not to exchange gifts. We all like this program. There's only two little kids and a teenager to get stuff for, and it saves a lot of hassle and expense.

All the holiday bullshit is over for another year, and I'm damn glad of it. I like to visit Mrs. G's family, but twice a year one month apart is crazy. Could somebody please look into if there's some Pagan celebration around the other solstice we could move Christmas to?

Culling the herd ...

Our long national nightmare is over.

No, it was just begun with Watergate. Our long national nightmare will be over when the Republican Party no longer exists.

See you in Hell.

Your tax dollars at work

First, hope all of you lived through Christmas with a minumum of hassle. Personally, the thought of going to work today is abhorrent but we gotta do the deal.

Anyway. Seems the Chimp pissed away $2bln, that's right, billion of your dollars earmarked for Hurricane Katrina aid. Why isn't this man in jail already?

Investigations have revealed the Bush Administration wasted more than $2 billion of the money allocated for Katrina, the Associated Press reports today. Much of this waste is the result of lucrative contracts awarded with little or no competition [my em]...

O Tannenbaum

A bit of my heritage. I always loved it in the original German.

The legendary Vienna Boy's Chior

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
wie treu sind deine Blätter!
Du grünst nicht nur
zur Sommerzeit,
Nein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
wie treu sind deine Blätter!

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Du kannst mir sehr gefallen!
Wie oft hat nicht zur Weihnachtszeit
Ein Baum von dir mich hoch erfreut!
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Du kannst mir sehr gefallen!

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Dein Kleid will mich
was lehren:
Die Hoffnung und Beständigkeit
Gibt Trost und Kraft
zu jeder Zeit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum!
Das soll dein Kleid
mich lehren.

And an aside, we'll be spending Christmas with my family in Germany next year. Of course I'm gonna blog about it.

The America I love

Cenk Uygur nails it:

...

I love the America that built, or I should say enhanced and sold, this great tradition of Christmas. I love the America that is open and kind. I love the America that gives presents.

I love the America that built the United Nations. And the America that carried out the most magnanimous act since Saladin gave King Richard his horse back - the Marshall Plan. The America that rebuilt its worst enemies into its best allies. That's a country that is a brilliant and shining example to the world.

...

For Christmas next year, I want that America back.

Christmas

5 Catholics
4 Jews
1 Hindu
1 Infidel
All my American nephews and nieces
And Mrs. F's wingnut brother who was on good behavior

Priceless

All the best!

Happy Holidays

There,I said it. Hopefully it made another teeny little capillary in Bill O'Reilly's fevered little brain go *pop!*. Holidays is short for Holy Days,and bite me if you wanna fight about it. Find a freaking hobby for crying out loud.

My wish this Holy Day Season is that you gather with family and friends and leave having not killed or maimed any of them. May you not be presented with an eyesore of a gift or your mother showing adorable pictures of your potty training,for the 20th year in a row. May you steer clear of drunken uncles and crazy wingnut parents chirping and TVs turned to FOX News. May your idiotic brother in law learn to keep his trap shut this year,and may your sister tell him to STFU if he forgets.

May someone offer to help with the dishes after the holiday feast,take out the trash,and tidy the messes.

May the children go to bed early.

And when it's all said and done,may we all be safe,sound,well,loved,and otherwise content. For that will give us the courage and strength to rage against the machine and break it's gears. May your voice be heard,may your challenges be well met and may you forever remember that it's pretty much always a bad idea to leave shrimp out of the fridge for too long,or to light up a joint in church.

And may 2007 be the year things begin to turn this Big Blue Marble around to the side of the good guys for a change.

Love and Holiday Smootchies,
AOB

How it'll work ...

If you're waiting for a D-Day or Iwo Jima type 'surge' of troops in Eye-Rack, forget it. Brother Lurch explains how it'll go:

Firstly, as most people who pay attention now understand, it won't be a surge. Troops scheduled to rotate back to the US for rest, refit, replenishment, and a chance to see their families won't. Troops scheduled to return to Iraq after their planned 12 to 18 months at home will be sent earlier. Sorry troops, too bad families, wives, children, mothers, fathers; sometimes sacrifices have to be made in order to maintain the fiction that we're doing something reputable in Iraq. And what's more important? Your family's happiness or Mr Bu$h's reputation?

...

We are the world

And while you're stuffing your faces and your greedy little urchins are ripping open their presents, maybe you could see fit to pass a couple bucks out to folks who have never known the spirit of this holiday:

Save the Children

World Vision

Save Darfur

Grameen Foundation*

*Thanks AOB!

Meme-tagged

Creature got me with this one. 5 stories about me, 4 true, one false:

1. For a few years after I got out the military, I was a bodyguard for a transsexual dancer/stripper.

2. While in the military, I supplied Osama bin Laden and his Mujaheddin with weapons.

3. Also in the military, Naples, Italy: I was nearly shot and killed by an outraged woman who was bent on killing my roommate. Fortunately she was unsucessful.

4. I dated Pat Benatar when we were both in high school on Long Island.

5. My engines took 1st, 3rd, and 4th at the original 'Mustang Shootout' at Englishtown Raceway, New Jersey.

The first one who picks the false statement gets a prize. Maybe a signed copy of one of my books?

And just a BTW, all of the factual statements can be verified via the archives of this blog. Yeah, I know there are 2 1/2 years worth of archives. Heh ...

A rotten year ...

For Jesus Christ, American. The Guardian via Nicole at C & L:

Watching the box-office numbers coming in last week on the flop that was The Nativity Story, it occurred to me that the movie's failure might be a symptom of something happier. Alongside the November congressional elections that put George Bush's manhood in a lockbox for the next two years, the most encouraging development of the past year has been the American electorate's ferocious rejection of the primary tenets held by the fundamentalist godfathers of his administration. It's been a rotten year for Jesus Christ, American. Merry Christmas!

The craziest religious politicians were rudely kicked out of office, as a homosexual scandal engulfed a homophobic Republican Party, as gay-bashing religious hypocrites started tumbling from Colorado closets. Christian fundamentalist-backed ballot initiatives on reliable hot-button religious issues tanked, nationwide. South Dakota overturned a draconian abortion ban tailored by its far-right backers to provoke a test case before the US Supreme Court. Indiana voted not to outlaw stem-cell research, and Arizona voted down a gay marriage ban.

States don't come redder and more Bush-friendly than these, and yet they rejected the fundamentalist programme all down the line. So much for those Democrats who claimed, after the 2004 defeat, that the left now needed to kowtow to the vomity likes of Jerry Falwell and James Dobson.

...

Merry Christmas indeed. But I won't be happy until 'God's Chosen Preznit' is on unemployment.

Saturday night whore ...

My weekly installment (Chapter 11) of my novel The Captains is up at The Practical Press.

Happy!

Happy Holidays everyone! I don't give a damn what god you worship, may the real spirit of this season be with you and the people you care for. As my esteemed blog pardner Gord said: Pray for Peace.

...

But say a prayer,
pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard,
but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window,
and it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them
instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Here's to you raise a glass for everyone
Here's to them underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

...

~ Great thanks to Bono for doing his damndest to keep our eyes open.

And at this time, do something to help those less fortunate.

Re: Blogger upgrade

Now they're not ready for us again. Oy! Best laid plans ...

Merry Christmas

I was gonna wait 'til in the morning to do this, but then I figured I better do it now because Fixer's liable to have this thing spread out all over the floor by then!

Me'n Mrs. G are headin' out to the coast for a family Christmas. If I don't see ya before about Wednesday, I'll see ya then.

We should be OK: Congress is out of session, so we're safe from them. I hope the 110th Congress takes that number as the 110% effort they owe us and better put out.

Bush is holed up somewhere tryin' to figure out a way to lie his ass out of trouble over the criminal war he lied us into, without admitting any mistakes or defeat. Fat chance, chimp boy.

I ain't gonna worry about it for a coupla days.

So to all, a Merry Christmahannukwaanzakkah. Pray for peace.