Bored-ass Jesus will see you now

If it's Wednesday, it must be Morford going on about Guv'ner Goodhair's calls for prayer for rain and the Rapture.

Indeed, Perry's official Proclamation for Days of Prayer for Rain in Texas -- thusly issued after a staggering drought has ravaged the state for months, ruined crops, devastated local economies and dropped reservoir levels to record lows -- might at first glance induce, as it most certainly did for me, a chortle and gasp at the governor's somewhat mindless view of God; it might first make you think, "Oh Rick, you loveably despicable hunk of right wing chuzpah, you. Don't you know such peculiar entreaties just make God roll her eyes and laugh?"

She likes us better than you, Texas. Our drought is officially over after this past winter. Suck it, bitchez.

Ah, existential irony. Jesus loves that stuff.

But oh, poor Jesus, once again caught in the twee crossfire of mankind's terrible lack of imagination, once again reduced to a petty deity stuck way out there off the cosmic turnpike, a judgmental, lopsided hooligan who actually gives a damn about things like rainfall, and touchdowns, and borders, and math, and political parties, and gender, and whether or not you understand that the Second Coming has nothing whatsoever to do with bazooka-wielding angels blasting everyone into fiery smithereens, and everything to do with, you know, waking up.

But hey, if it will help, and before the apocalypse comes, I'll happily join right in and offer up a prayer for some rain for Texas, too. I'm sure the governor won't mind some liberal, left-coast, pro-gay, pro-sex, pro-choice, tantric-inspired love, right? I'm sure he'd happily do the same for San Francisco, right? We're all one, after all. Right?

See you at the Rapture. I'll bring the whisky.

Yeah, I'll be sittin' on my seabag all ready for that. Yeesh.

Enjoy.

Headline of the Day

White House releases Obama's birth certificate

Think this'll make the birther assholes STFU? Not bloody likely. Watch 'em try to make hay outta the typos and mistakes on it.

If Jesus Christ himself appeared with a copy of it, they'd accuse him of being an impostor for not looking like them too.

Update:

Kos

That the birthers aren't satisfied with the release of the long form birth certificate isn't surprising. Birthers aren't satisfied because no matter how many documents Barack Obama releases it will never be enough, because there isn't a document in the world that will turn him white.

Finally ...

Sorry for taking so long but I was in no mood to post after the great time we had in Funchal yesterday. I got posts up from Tenerife, Gran Canaria, and Funchal. At sea today, Vigo, Spain tomorrow.

Enjoy!

Au contraire...

Jan Brewer: Birther Issue Leading Country 'Down A Path Of Destruction'

Wrongamundo, 'Bagger Lady! It's leading the Repuglican't party down the road to destruction, but that's a GOOD thing for the country.

Why Are We Throwing Traumatized Vets in Jail for Calling 911?

AlterNet

For 30 years we've been experimenting with specialty courts because we know that putting someone with a mental health issue or an addiction in prison instead of treatment is not only cruel, it's much more expensive. For three years, we've been tentatively opening that model to veterans, who often fit into both categories. Since the attack on the Twin Towers, tens of thousands of veterans of previous conflicts have flooded VA facilities across the country, with PTSD by far the most common diagnosis. Ten years later, those old soldiers are being joined by younger veterans, in equally daunting numbers, who are similarly haunted by their memories and overwhelmed by the symptoms of their psychic injuries.

They use drugs or alcohol to manage their nightmares, red-line their Harleys to feed their addiction to adrenalin, keep guns under their pillows to feel safe, and when they have flashbacks, muscle-memory takes over and they default to combat survival skills. Rages at the terrible images that colonize their minds get misdirected at innocent bystanders, often the people who love them the most—all known symptoms of PTSD, all predictive of trouble.

Shorter: Train them, use them up, throw them away, punish them for their nightmares instead of helping them.

Some vets get help, some get jail. Shameful, and we have a whole new generation of them who were used every bit as badly as the Vietnam vets.

Thanks again Georgie, you fucking weakling.

Passing Through

Fixer has mentioned that whenever he goes cruising a certain long-ago incident somehow seems to come up.

Ah, yup...

Thanks to YubaNet.

The Progressive Budget Alternative

Paul Krugman on The People's Budget:

I’ve been remiss in not calling attention to the budget proposal from the Congressional Progressive Caucus. It’s not going to happen — but then neither is the Ryan plan. And unlike the Ryan plan, it actually makes sense.

So why does this plan get no attention, while the cruel fantasies of the right get headlines? I’ll leave that as a question for readers.

Because it makes sense and has the phrase "The People's" in it, which makes it socialist or worse, Librul.

Amen

Manifesto Joe

Franklin Graham Interview Reminds Me: Maybe It's Time For God Inc. To Start Paying Taxes

Make the pious little shit pay taxes. Now.

Marine Air Blowing Off Steam In Clusterfuckistan

Normally I don't post music videos during the week, but when the cat's away the mice will play, and I couldn't resist this one.

These are my young tribal brethren and sisteren. Despite the fact that Marine Air is the best infantry weapon ever devised (think of it as a really looooong bayonet), and the 169 squadron's snakes will come bring maximum smoke on your enemy with one phone call, look at the fucking haircuts on some of these Air Wing pogues! Looser'n a soup sandwich! We always thought of the aviation Marines as being some kinda separate service with different rules anyway.

Via Raw Replay.

In the fine tradition of military personnel blowing off steam in the field comes this latest masterpiece out of Afghanistan.

Below, watch the 266 Rein and HMLA 169* Marines perform their awesome rendition of Britney Spears’ “Hold It Against Me.”

*Mottoes:

"World Famous Vipers, perhaps you have heard of us?"

"We hate each other, but we hate you more."

Heh. Also, this vid has had over 2,000,000 hits in the week it's been up. I left 'em a little comment and while I was doing that about 20 more comments came in. I think this vid qualifies as 'gone viral'.

Thanks to atarin18.

Just another GOP hypocrite...

Drug-bashing RI Republican charged with drug use

Robert Watson, a high-ranking Republican state legislator in Rhode Island, is in hot water after being charged with driving under the influence of marijuana and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Drug charges alone would be bad enough for a public official, but Watson, Rhode Island's House minority leader, is still remembered for his controversial anti-drug, anti-gay and anti-immigrant remarks.

In February, Watson said the Rhode Island legislature had their priorities right "if you are a Guatemalan gay man who likes to gamble and smokes marijuana."

Watson was pulled over at a police checkpoint Friday, East Haven police told the Associated Press. Police noted a "strong odor of marijuana" coming from Watson's car, and charged him with possession and driving under the influence. The lawmaker was released after he promised to appear in court, and has not yet issued a statement.

Ahhhhhhh, schadenfreude!

Wrap Your Royal Rascal!

To celebrate the engagement of Prince William of Wales to Ms. Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction has commissioned a unique heritage edition Royal Wedding Souvenir boîte de capotes.

Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Truly a King amongst Condoms.

I'm speechless...

Headline and Quote of the Day

Is the GOP Really America’s Domestic Enemy?

So the GOP has but one step left. If they can gain control of our national government and establish the same rules that now exist in Michigan, America’s beautiful experiment in democracy is over.

So yes, Tom, the GOP is indeed the Devil incarnate - and worse.

ElBaradei suggests war crimes probe of Bush team

AP

Former chief U.N. nuclear inspector Mohamed ElBaradei suggests in a new memoir that Bush administration officials should face international criminal investigation for the "shame of a needless war" in Iraq.

"I was aghast at what I was witnessing," ElBaradei writes of the official U.S. attitude before the March 2003 invasion, which he calls "aggression where there was no imminent threat," a war in which he accepts estimates that hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians were killed.

In such a case, he suggests, the World Court should be asked to rule on whether the war was illegal. And, if so, "should not the International Criminal Court investigate whether this constitutes a `war crime' and determine who is accountable?"

Formidable political and legal barriers would seem to rule out such an investigation. But ElBaradei, citing the war-crimes prosecution of Serbia's Slobodan Milosevic, sees double standards that should end.

"Do we, as a community of nations, have the wisdom and courage to take the corrective measures needed, to ensure that such a tragedy will never happen again?" he asks.

No.

Drunk as a skunk ...

Me and Terry spent the afternoon hanging in The Golden Lion (talking football - soccer - with a couple of drunken Irishmen) while our women were out shopping on Gran Canaria. Ain't in no condition to write a post right now. We'll be in Madiera (Portugal) tomorrow. We're behind schedule because our compass went to shit last night as we left Tenerife and we had to recalibrate, cutting holes in the Atlantic for 4 hours. Cap'n Wells (a friend of mine through 1st Engineer David, who served with Cap'n Wells on QE2) says he's gonna have to do a speed run tonight to make up time. He's gonna put the engines to full and try to get 30 - 32 knots out of her during the night. Should be a fun ride. We have lunch and dinner reservations in Madiera tomorrow so I'll have something up in the morning from Tenerife and Gran Canaria.

Gotta get ready for more drinks and dinner. See yas in the morning.

And just a note: My mother emigrated from Germany to the US aboard the first Queen Elizabeth 60 years ago today.

Addendum: What the fuck is with that so-called English they speak over there in the Kingdom? Can't understand a bloody thing when I'm loaded. Heh ...

Addendum Zwei: And fucking Terry, when he's loaded, speaks to me in fucking Welsh (a beautiful language BTW) but Jesus H. Christ, it's bad enough trying to understand the English. ;)

Yours truly on Playa del Ingles (Beach of the Englishmen) on Gran Canaria this morning

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

ElBaradei: Bush Should Be Tried for War Crimes
Bush: ElBaradei should be arrested, tortured and shot.

Thank you ElBaradei.

72% Say Raise Taxes on Those Earning More Than $250,000
28% say eat them.

California Wine Company Asks Court to Declare its “Mommyjuice” Doesn’t Violate Rival’s “Mommy’s Time Out” Trademark
Or their “Mommy’s Drunk Now,” or “Mommy’s Soused, Get Lost, Kiddo” brands.

Afghanistan: Buzkashi Championships Begin Under Cloud of Scandal
Apparently some of the horsemen fighting over a headless goat carcass are “juiced.”

They are learning something from us!

Ah, there's nothin' like a restful sea cruise...

Thinkin' about the Fixers disporting themselves all over the Atlantic is bringin' back memories and making me nostalgic for my own sea cruise frolics. Here's the main activity aboard one of the ships I was in. The squid who shot this left out the Marines who were also cargo for these hell-o-copeters. This is about 25 years after my cruise. Not much difference.

I think my cruise in Guam may have been slightly noisier than Fixer's in Queen Liz.

Thanks to CFD145.

Listen here to some of the delightful festivities when flight ops weren't going.

Thanks to g4511.

Thoughts on Easter

A PR stunt that succeeded beyond its wildest dreams and has been causing trouble the world over pretty much ever since, mostly after Constantine organized Christians to unify the Roman Empire and gave them a book that satisfied his agenda and that continues to be taken seriously to this day by the tiny-brained.

How'd that 'Roman Empire' thing work out for ya, Con-Man? Its successor, the 'Holy' one? The United States is fixin' to reenact the last part of those pretty soon and then we'll know.

Not directly related to The Big Prank, if it hadn'ta been for Mohammed, it seems to me that most of today's Muslims would be Jews. With them, eh, we coulda cut a deal, saved the world a lotta trouble...

We could start by cannin' the whole 'ham on Easter' thing that originated no doubt to stick the crucifixion in the the Jews' eyes - they didn't do it.

Hiccuping Volcanoes

Will Durst on how the right-wing culture war tops the important stuff and things that actually matter and why the never-right is totally fucked.

You got to love The Right. Every single study and poll, every one, shows independents turned off by cultural- values wars; the same way chalk sidewalk drawings dissolve in a thunderstorm. And they try and they try and they try but they just can't help themselves. Like active moral volcanoes with a bad case of the hiccups, conservatives erupt and spew and god help any innocent bystander that gets in the way of their lava of virtuousness. That includes themselves.

Oh, they talk about getting the government out of people's business. But when its bedroom business or women's body businesses, an infatuation with perceived iniquity overcomes them. Especially businesses into which tab A is not destined for slot B; which could possibly offend some busybody. That's when their business becomes the business of judging other people's business. And business is good.

Knowing better, but unable to control his compulsion, Speaker John Boehner (R- $$$) swoopingly interrupted his budget putsch, hiring a law firm to argue on behalf of the Defense of Marriage Act. President Obama declared it unconstitutional and indefensible, so the Speaker is taking it unto himself to ensure equal rights are denied to same sex relationships. Apparently, certain people's happiness makes him miserable.

Previously, the GOP tried lathering their moral superiority onto the budget bill. That's when Jon Kyl (R- Wackyville) went on the floor of the Senate to say abortions "are well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does." And he was close. Off by 87%. Just a bit outside. Later, Kyl's office recanted saying "his remark was not intended to be a factual statement." Of course. Who would ever think it was? After all, he is a known politician.

With no innards left, leaping onto the anti- abortion bandwagon with talons extended, Michele Bachmann called Planned Parenthood the Lenscrafters of abortion, which by all rights allows you to call the Heritage Foundation the Orange Julius of the death penalty. Congressman Bachmann, the Home Depot of ridiculously overwrought indignation. Making the Republican Party itself, the Luigi's Shoe Repair of self inflicted gunshot wounds to the chest.

I hope they shoot so many holes in themselves they automatically, like a player piano, whistle "Red River Valley" in a breeze and maybe "Onward Christian Soldiers" in a gale. Heh.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...Marijuanaman!

Betcha dey's some serious dreds under dot hood, mon!

Brand X

Look, up in the sky, it’s a bong, it’s a plate of brownies — no, it’s … Marijuanaman.

Superheroes are everywhere these days, so perhaps it’s no surprise that a cannabis-themed crusader is fighting the good fight on the cover of a (ahem) high-profile new project with musician Ziggy Marley as part of the creative team. But what’s intriguing is the hero on the cover is no bleary-eyed burnout looking for the Xbox controller in the couch. This pothead looks as intense as the Punisher, and Marley says there are meaningful messages rolled up within the tales’ action.

“It relates to the reality of why the plant is being criminalized and why it’s not being used in all of its facets,” said the five-time Grammy winner and 42-year-old son of the late Bob Marley. “In the early days of American history, this plant was used much more widely, and then it became a demon and a devil.”

The 48-page hardcover premiere of “Marijuanaman” from Image Comics hits on 4/20 (no surprise)...[...]

There was a need to please discerning comics fans but also a resolution to keep the Marley name, music and legacy as a touchstone. Spattered with references to the contemporary reggae singer and his father, intricate (and sometimes incongruous) tapestries of Wailers song references and hat tips to the Tuff Gong record label are woven in the pages. Naturally, the Lion of Judah makes several majestic cameos.

Comic books have come a long way since the Classics Illustrated masterpieces that got me through book reports...

Coffee ...

I don't know about you, but coffee plays a very important part of my life. Makes me human in the morning. Thing is, being on a ship, good coffee is impossible to get. If the seaworthiness of a ship was measured by the quality of its coffee, the entire fleet would be towed out over the Atlantic Trench and scuttled. An old Navy chief would willingly jump overboard and drown himself. I'm not exaggerating.

What they do, is make the coffee ashore, turn it into a concentrate, and then add water aboard ship. Makes for a horrible swill. The Mrs. and I have a solution.



We bring a pound of good coffee, our little drip fixtures and a box of #2 filters. All we do is order up a couple pots of boiling water from room service and make our own.

Off to Tenerife in a couple hours. Sorry I didn't post yesterday but they had a big football (soccer) bash in The Golden Lion all day so you can figure where I was.

Later ...

Happy Easter!