Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

NORTH KOREA POISED TO LAUNCH SATELLITE, DESPITE PROTESTS
Especially those from three dissidents sitting inside capsule.

BP Arctic Oil Spill Response Plan Questioned by Coast Guard
Calls for immediate deployment of PR agents.

Cheney Leaves Hospital With New Heart
Will take up watercolors, give all his money to ACLU.

Thank you for that! A blip in the flatline of irony!

30% of Health Care Procedures Not Needed, Say Doctors
Thanks for the tip, say insurers.

Proves the "Cheney" one above. Definitely not in the interest of anyone.

Virginia Study Shows Bringing Dogs to Work Reduces Stress
Bringing cats to work reveals you are in need of professional help.

Word.

Wall Of Death

Notice to those who think life is a high-speed, high-risk journey that goes nowhere with only one outcome: you're right. Heh.

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Word ...

Stolen from the Being Liberal FB page.

More deck ...

I was pretty productive yesterday.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

With The Red Dirt Boys

Emmylou Harris ~ Old Five and Dimers

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Titanic’s Wake: Shipwreck of the Century Retains Its Grip

Good article at Daily Beast/Newsweek, with video.

This part is my image of Fixer getting ready to go down like a gentleman. Except for the mistress part, of course:

[...] Among the plutocracy there were stylish stoics — most notably Benjamin Guggenheim, traveling with his valet, chauffeur, and (clandestinely) his mistress, the singer Leontine Aubert, and her maid. Guggenheim saw the women into a lifeboat and then returned to his cabin to don his tuxedo. “We have dressed in our best and are prepared to go down like gentlemen,” he reportedly said, adding, “if anything happens, tell my wife I have done my best in doing my duty” (not mentioning that he did it by Leontine).

But then, some guys have all the luck:

Plenty of the dollar dukes went down like gents on the Titanic: an Astor, two Wideners, and a Thayer. But its real heroes were often among the crew, none more stirring than Second Officer Herbert Lightoller, who had survived one shipwreck and a cyclone before getting his position on the Titanic. He had gone off watch when the ship struck the iceberg but was the most energetic and resourceful in getting as many women and children as he could into the boats, which he knew very well would only have room for around half of the passengers and crew even when fully loaded (and many weren’t). Told at the end to get in one himself, his reply, without irony, was “not on your life.” Attempting to make the last “collapsible” lifeboat usable, the rush of water swept him away. The force of an engine explosion brought him back to the surface, where he managed to struggle to the capsized collapsible to which 30 men were desperately hanging. Such was the brutal frigidity of the - water—28 degrees -Fahrenheit — that hypothermia did half of them in during the night. Eventually transferred to another lifeboat, Lightoller was the very last of the survivors to board the Carpathia. He went on to serve in the First World War and took his converted yacht Sundowner to Dunkirk, where he got 130 off the doomed beach.

From swells and heroes, a look at steerage:

[...] Although the Titanic was memorably characterized by Walter Lord in his classic A Night to Remember as a “small town,” it was in fact made up of villages from an astonishing diversity of cultures. There were whole communities of Lebanese and Syrian peasants and townspeople, many on their way to Wilkes-Barre, Pa., where some of their countrymen must already have settled. A community of Flemish sugar-beet farmers were headed to Ohio to work in the fields for American sugar companies. There were also Croatians and a big contingent of Finns, Swedes, and Danes.

Many had come from worlds embittered not just by poverty but by brutal class conflict: strikes, strike-breaking, and quasi-military industrial lockouts. Some of this acrimony touched the White Star Line directly and the crew closest to steerage — the stokers, firemen, and stewards — knew it. Titanic’s original master during trials at Belfast — one Captain Haddock (yes, honestly)* — faced a strike precisely over the inadequacy of lifeboat accommodation on the liners: the very thing that condemned 1,500 to death.

*I got this gag because I just watched The Adventures of Tintin which is a comic book made into a movie. Nicely done (Spielberg has a habit of that) and I recommend it as good light fun entertainment.

The Titanic might have avoided the iceberg altogether had one piece of technology been better suited to the monstrously sized ship. The rudder wasn’t up to moving the vessel with the speed it would need in an emergency. When Captain Smith had to turn the liner hard to starboard to try to avoid the berg, it took a full 37 seconds between the tiller’s command and the rudder changing course.

I can picture throwing a hard countersteer into my bike when some idiot driver turns left in front of me and the bike waiting a loooong second before turning. And the ensuing crash. Ships today pretty much have that fixed with all kinds of steering devices. The problem today seems to be even more dumbass skippers than Titanic had.

Enjoy the rest.

Irony Dead At Last

Fixer's way ahead of me on the "irony is dead" meme. Ever the cockeyed optimist, I've been holding out. This one nails the lid shut. Sigh.

Addicting Info, video of this moron if you're out of stuff to beat yourself in the head with.

We had a good run, Irony, but you are as dead as Ron Paul’s chances of winning the GOP primary. It’s been coming for some time now, as the Onion is finding it more and more difficult to parody the right but the final nail has been put into your coffin. Last week, Rep. Steve King (R-Why does it have to be the state I live in?), stood up in front of the United States Supreme Court and announced, on camera, that he was against the government telling the American people what to do with their bodies:

Moronic, lying spew follows.

I would have sold my left pinky toe to have been able to ask Rep. King if his aversion to government mandates included forced trans-vaginal probes and forcing doctors to read a script riddled with medical lies designed to both shame and scare women out of having an abortion. I’m going to assume that doesn’t count because it only affects women and, as every good conservative knows, women are sluts and whores anyway, so who cares?

Considering that the individual mandate was a conservative idea forwarded by the Heritage Foundation, a far right think tank, it’s interesting that the GOP is so opposed to it. The entire premise is that every person will eventually be in the health care system in some manner. They will get sick, have an accident or what have you. Everyone will need a doctor, sooner or later. If they never buy insurance when they can afford to do so then they are simply shifting the burden on to everyone else that does. Hospitals, by law, must treat anyone that requires it so in order to recoup the losses due to the uninsured, they charge the rest of us more. I thought Republicans worshiped “personal responsibility” and despised wealth redistribution? But, as always, consistency is not a conservative strong suit. No logic contortion is too much as long as it means standing in opposition to President Obama.

The GOP doesn’t stand for anything, anymore. They only stand against and that’s no way to run the country.

It's what they're against that's troubling - you and me.

We gotta take Congress back this November.

Senate Bill 2109 Seeks to Extinguish Navajo and Hopi Water Rights

Native News Betwork

TUBA CITY, ARIZONA – Senators Jon Kyl, Arizona - R, and John McCain, Arizona - R, will be in Tuba City on Thursday, April 5, 2012, to persuade Navajo Nation and Hopi Tribal leaders to give up their peoples' aboriginal and Treaty-guaranteed priority Water Rights by accepting a "Settlement Agreement" written to benefit some of the West's most powerful mining and energy corporations.
...

Senate Bill 2109 45; the "Navajo-Hopi Little Colorado River Water Rights Settlement Act of 2012" was introduced by Kyl and McCain on February 14, 2012, and is on a fast track to give Arizona corporations and water interests a "100 th birthday present" that will close the door forever on Navajo and Hopi food and water sovereignty, security and self-reliance.

What the white man failed to accomplish with genocide, disease, starvation, and alcohol, he will finally accomplish with the stroke of a pen and a lot of lobbyists' money.

Kyl and McCain - and all the Repugs who will vote for this - disgust me. Nothing new.

Suppressing Evidence

MoJo

The Secret Torture Memo Cheney Didn't Want You To See

It appears that Zelikow was right about the archives: the secret memo, which he called a "direct assault on [the Bush Justice Department's] interpretation of American law," was finally released by the State Department on Tuesday, three years after the National Security Archive and WIRED reporter Spencer Ackerman (then at the Washington Independent) first requested it under the Freedom of Information Act. You can read it here:

Runs to six pages, esplaining Cheney's war crimes to him. He knew anyway.

Neil Kinkopf, who worked for the Justice Department under the Clinton administration (and is now an Obama administration official), told Mother Jones in 2009 why Cheney might have wanted to get rid of the document: "People in the White House — Dick Cheney for example; David Addington, his legal adviser — didn't want the existence of dissent to be known. It's not hard to imagine David Addington playing very hardball internal politics and not only wanting to prevail over the view of Zelikow but to annihilate it. It would be perfectly consistent with how he operated."

Zelikow told WIRED on Wednesday that he believes the Bush administration's harsh interrogation techniques constituted a "felony war crime."

It looks like they got away with it unless someone gets on it pretty quick and that's unlikely. I think The Dick, and The Chimp too most likely, will be long dead before they are prosecuted for their crimes and since they'll be dead, no one will bother. The Devil will welcome them with open arms.

And then Cheney will take over Hell.

Hit the deck ...

I'm tired and sore from moving heavy shit. Started work on the deck today.

AMA Bessie Stringfield Award to Gabby Giffords

Bessie Stringfield

The American Motorcyclist Association has awarded the Bessie Stringfield Award to Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.

The AMA Bessie Stringfield Award, first awarded in 2000, memorializes the accomplishments of AMA Motorcycle Hall of Fame member Bessie Stringfield, an African-American motorcycling pioneer of the mid-20th century. The award recognizes individuals who have introduced motorcycling to emerging markets. Until her recent retirement announcement, Rep. Giffords was the co-chair of the Congressional Motorcycle Caucus. As a rider for more than 20 years, and as a member of the U.S. House and the caucus, she worked with the AMA and the motorcycling community on a number of issues to protect and promote motorcycling. Arguably, Giffords is the most visible woman motorcyclist ever elected at the national level, and her embrace of motorcycling encouraged many other women to take up riding.

"This is a great honor from the AMA," said Gifford's husband, astronaut Mark E. Kelly, on her behalf. "Gabby and I have been motorcyclists for many years, and I can tell you that motorcycling, and motorcyclists, have been important in our lives. She has been able to inspire so many others to take up riding, particularly women."

Kelly added that Giffords is progressing in her recovery from the failed assassination attempt on her life in January 2011, and that the couple hope to ride together again one day in the future.

That's good!

More about Ms. Stringfield:

Bessie Stringfield (1911–1993), nicknamed "The Motorcycle Queen of Miami",[1] was an African American woman credited with breaking down barriers for both women and African American motorcyclists. She was the first African-American woman to ride across the United States solo and during World War II she served as one of the few motorcycle despatch riders for the United States military. The award bestowed by the American Motorcyclist Association for 'Superior Achievement by a Female Motorcyclist' is named in her honour. In 2002 Stringfield was inducted into the Motorcycle Hall of Fame.[2]

Stringfield was born in Kingston, Jamaica in 1911, but her parents migrated to Boston when she was still young. Her parents died when Stringfield was five and she was adopted and raised by an Irish woman.

At the age of sixteen Stringfield taught herself to ride her first motorcycle, a 1928 Indian Scout. At the age of nineteen she commenced travelling across the United States and eventually rode through the 48 lower states. During this time she earned money from performing motorcycle stunts in carnival shows.[2] Due to her skin colour, Stringfield was often denied accommodation while travelling, so she would sleep on her motorcycle at filling stations.

During WWII Stringfield served as a civilian courier for the US Army, carrying documents between domestic army bases. During the four years she worked for the Army she crossed the United States eight times. She regularly encountered racism during this time, reportedly being deliberately knocked down by a white male in a pickup truck while travelling in the South.

From the AMA Hall Of Fame:

In the 1930s and 1940s, Bessie took eight long-distance, solo rides across the United States. Speaking to a reporter, she dismissed the notion that "nice girls didn’t go around riding motorcycles in those days." Further, she was apparently fearless at riding through the Deep South when racial prejudice was a tangible threat. Was Bessie consciously championing the rights of women and African-Americans? Bessie would most likely have said she was simply living her life in her own way.
...

Late in life, Bessie suffered from symptoms caused by an enlarged heart. "Years ago the doctor wanted to stop me from riding," she recalled. "I told him if I don’t ride, I won’t live long. And so I never did quit."

Fuckin' A, lady! That's the spirit!

Soooo...in the face of societal discrimination against Afro-Americans, women, and motorcyclists, even while they were doing their patriotic duty, here was a fine lady and role model who prevailed over it all.

There's a lot more at the links.

Citing Safety Concerns, Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Cruise Ships

MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) April 5, 2012 – In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise industry, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions."
...

The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the cruise ship Azamara Quest "has sent a shiver through the pirate community."
...

When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board cruise ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a cruise ship of its booty over Easter Break, they should make alternative plans."

Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for cruise industry, said that the cruise ship companies "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust."

More buffets oughta help...

According to my unimpeachable sources (ahem), Somali pirates have an agreement with the Cunard Line to not board their vessels, citing the dress codes.

No shit ...

Stolen from the Americans Against the Tea Party FB page.

Speaking of ...

American Taliban, Sheriff Joe is whining because the Feds want to look over his shoulder. It'd be nice if the Feds went one step further and indicted him for turning a county of an American state into his own private gulag.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio — who previously claimed he was cooperating with the Justice Department in an attempt to settle allegations that he violated the civil rights of Latinos in his jurisdiction — told Fox News on Wednesday that he’ll “be glad to meet them in court.”

DOJ cut off negotiations with Arpaio Tuesday saying he had refused to let an independent monitor be a part of any settlement agreement.

...

Wah-wah-wah. Why is it the Republicans think they should be allowed to exercise their authority with impunity? Big tough "law and order" guys as long as they don't have to follow any laws themselves. Those are for everybody else but them. Did you ever notice that when someone points out they've run roughshod over the legal system and Americans' rights, they whine like a bunch of crybabies? The Republicans are not tough. They are a bunch of cowardly bastids who want everything their way and to be exempt from the responsibilities we all have to our society.

Exactly!

Digby on the idiot who tried to blow up a Planned Parenthood clinic the other day:

...

I wonder what this paragon of virtue would say about a theoretical Pakistani terrorist who planted a bomb in front of the Pentagon, using the same rationale to complain about children killed by drone strikes. He would doubtless argue that it's totally different, except for the part where it totally isn't. Terrorism is terrorism.

...

It'd be nice if we stopped making the distinction between Islamic terrorism and the shit the right wing nutjobs here do. There is no difference between the Taliban and Sharia Law and the Christian Fundamentalists who want to make the United States more "moral". If most of the American Taliban weren't ignorant, lazy, generally intoxicated cowards, shit would be blowing up here with the same regularity it does in Iraq and Afghanistan. Notice you don't see the American Taliban strapping on a vest and blowing themselves up. They're far away from the bomb when it goes off. Thinking about it, what little respect I have for Islamic terrorists is far more than I have for the American ones.

Former ‘sheriff of the year’ pleads guilty to trading meth for sex

What, that's illegal now?! Raw Story.

A former Colorado police sheriff, who was once named national “Sheriff of the Year,” pleaded guilty Tuesday to charges of trading methamphetamine for sex with a male prostitute.
...

The former sheriff, who already spent eight days in prison, will serve the remainder of his 38-day sentence in a jail named after him in Arapahoe County, Colorado.

Now THAT'S funny! Heh.

Note to former Sheriff Sullivan: You sent hundreds of people to your eponymous lockup, so man up and show 'em how to do it. County time's easy. You can do 30 days standing on your head with your balls on fire. Oh, and play nice when they strip search you. Be inventive. Heh.

Headline of the Day

Arizona Legislators Trying to Declare Pregnancy Two Weeks Prior to Conception

Some days it definitely is worth chewing through the restraints to see things like this. Yeesh.

Under the gun ...

Well, the deck footings came this morning and the lumber is coming Friday. In that time, I have to move a ton of Hostas and knock down a cement wall. Pics to follow ...

And, of course, I forgot to bring the shit sample for the vet when I brought Da Chooch in for shots this morning. Thankfully, I don't have to make a special run back because her little sister has to go for her shots tomorrow.

Update:

A pallet and a half of footings. I'm gonna look like the Incredible Hulk by the time I'm done. They weigh 50 lbs. each.

My dad built this wall when he built the patio 45 years ago. The deck will extend 14 feet past it so it's gotta go. The Hostas in front of the wall have been relocated elsewhere in the yard.

The reason I'm doing this in the first place. When dad built the patio, he left a hole in the middle where mom could plant flowers. I don't know which one got the bright idea to plant a Sycamore tree in the middle of it (it was the diameter of a baseball bat when they planted it) but 45 years later, it heaved the patio out of the ground. At this point, it's essentially useless and when we entertain, I set up tables out in the grass.

Of course, the appropriate supervisory personnel will be in attendance. Heh ...

Update Zwei:

Done for the day and tired. Chelsea is playing Benfica in the Champions League and I'm relaxing. See:

I carried that back from Amsterdam in my hand luggage, btw. Heh ...

The day they killed the Easter Bunny

If it's Wednesday, it must be Morford. Given the title of his column, I thought he was going to go on about the upcoming 2000-and-somethingth anniversary of Easter, The P.R. Stunt That Stuck, but noooooo....

Do you know how to defile innocence? Do you know the best way to permanently stain a relatively clean soul, corrupt a vibrant imagination, molest a heart full of wonder and raw, unchecked power? I bet you do.

Let's see: You could drag said innocence to a GOP convention, or maybe Las Vegas, or let it watch five minutes of "Real Housewives" or "Brooklyn 11223" or "Doomsday Bunkers." You could hand it a rifle and tell it to blast a wild animal to death, have it attend an anti-gay rally at a Colorado Springs megachurch or Mormon temple, or plop it down at a One Direction concert. That would certainly do it.

But let's say you really want to mess it up, forever and true, tattoo it down deep with adulthood's most vile energy, a poison that's hugely common in the culture but is just shy of being actually physically abusive or illegal. Can you name it?

I can now.

Tucson's Mexican-American Studies Ban

Notable quote, paraphrased:

"If there weren't any more white people, they could do what they want."

I guess the flip side is "As long as whites are in charge, the Messkins will do it the white man's way".

Did I mention that the interviewee is a racist idiot? And a professional educator? Oy.

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