Live Whiskey-Blogging Obama's Big Damn Middle East Policy Speech

Who else? A few highlights:

12:09: It's Hillary Clinton, dressed in the sky blue pants suit of socialist defeat.

12:13: Clinton asks for a "sophisticated" understanding of issues, which means she's not talking to Americans.

12:14: Obama hugging Clinton reminds me of when Eisenhower would slap John Foster Dulles on the ass.

12:21" Offers support for Israel, which will be interpreted as his Muslim desire to re-Holocaust Israelis.

12:24: Again offers support for Israel, which will be interpreted as his Kenyan desire to spear Jewish babies there.

12:38: "America respects all peaceful and law-abiding voices to be heard, even if we disagree with them." (Somewhere, John Bolton's mustache just attacked the rest of his face.)

12:39: Expects respect for the rights of minorities, especially when it comes to how people talk to an invisible sky wizard of various colors.

12:40: Supports rights of women in countries where women are treated like veiled cattle. Good on him.

12:49: Our devotion to Israel's safety is "unshakeable." Which means Bill Kristol will say he means the opposite.

12:51: Says that there needs to be a "state of Palestine." The Heritage Foundation riots.

12:52: Israel must be able to defend itself, by itself. Which is secret Indonesian code for "Death to Israel."

Much more.

I don't know much about the Israeli/Palestinean conflict other than it's damn near impossible to broker peace between two sides that want each other dead until one of them is dead. The only question is which one.

Newt: Worst Campaign Promise Ever?

I'm still havin' fun with Neut "Don't Believe What I Say Just Because I Said It" Gingrich. What a royal fuckin' ignoramus.

Right Wing Watch

“I know how to get the whole country to resemble Texas.”
Newt Gingrich on Sean Hannity, May 11, 2011

“I dearly love the state of Texas,” the late Texan and progressive icon Molly Ivins wrote, “but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.” Noting that Texas was a state that provided relatively few services to its residents, she once wrote, “The only depressing part is that, unlike Mississippi, we can afford to do better. We just don’t.” Maybe that should be the motto for Newt Gingrich and his fellow anti-government demagogues.

Does Newt think we really want the whole country to look like Texas, which ranks:

Links to all of these.

50th in percentage of population without health insurance (2010)

50th in percentage of children insured (2009)

50th in percentage of women receiving early prenatal care (2010)

45th in rate of infectious diseases (2010)

44th in percentage of children in poverty (2010)

42nd in per capita health care funding (2010)

40th in overall health (2010)

36th in high school graduation rate (2010)

35th in crime (2010)

35th in percentage of children immunized (2010)

34th in rate of occupational fatalities (2010)

30th in percentage of people with college degree (2008)

Texas also ranks:

1st in amount of recognized carcinogens released into the air (2002)

4th highest in release of toxic chemicals into the environment (2002)

8th highest in percentage of people below poverty level (2008)

13th highest in obesity (2010)

“I know how to get the whole country to resemble Texas.” Uh, thanks, Newt, but no thanks.

No shit. Texas would look better as a state of Mexico, wouldn't lower their numbers much. If they still want it.

Headline of the Day

Forget About Libya: Let's Invade the Caymans and Get the Offshore U.S. Corporate Loot Back!

A nice thought, but it isn't piles of cash, just bits and bytes, and it would be somewhere else at the touch of a button as soon as the bow ramps of the landing craft touched the beach.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

An appropriate tune for Rapture Day, I think! This is from 1000Magicians, from whom I found out 'Laurie' is Limeyspeak for 'Larry'! Boy is my face red!

From 1998

Emmylou Harris & Spyboy ~ Aint Living Long Like This

Dirty Movie

Continuing with Fixer's "Man In Motion" theme for the day, I have posted a 'dirty' video at Fixer & Gordon.

I got things ta do today involving getting the bear damage to my truck fixed. See yas later.

Yay!!!!

The big yellow thing in the sky is back so me and the girls are headed out to the garden. Don't stop me now, I'm a man in motion:

From BBC's Top Gear; Queen - Don't Stop Me Now

John Parr - St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)

Happy Friday!

Froth*-speak

*See Fixer's post and google 'Santorum'. He's No. 1! Or is that No. 2? This is getting confusing... Heh.

Navy Names Ship for Civil Rights Activist Cesar Chavez

USNS Lewis and Clark (T-AKE-1)

This is cool.

YubaNet

May 18, 2011 - Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus announced today the selection of the USNS Cesar Chavez as the 14th Lewis and Clark class of dry cargo/ammunition ships.

Continuing the Lewis and Clark-class tradition of honoring legendary pioneers and explorers, the Navy's newest underway replenishment ship honors the memory of Mexican-American civil rights activist Cesar Chavez. Chavez served in the Navy from 1944-1946 after which he became a leader in the American Labor Movement and a civil rights activist who co-founded the National Farm Workers Association, which later became the United Farm Workers.

"Cesar Chavez inspired young Americans to do what is right and what is necessary to protect our freedoms and our country," said Mabus. "The Cesar Chavez will sail hundreds of thousands of miles and will bring support and assistance to thousands upon thousands of people. His example will live on in this great ship."

Watch for the outcry from the wingnuts that our socialist President is naming US Navy ships after commies.

I think there's an understated tongue-in-cheek irony in naming a ship that carries large loads after a man whose claim to fame is that he organized laborers.

Since Chavez is still being built, maybe the wingers can get the name changed to one of their "large load" icons. May I suggest USNS Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh? There are not many larger loads than those.

Brinksmanship for Dummies

Digby

It's one thing for the Republicans and centrist Democrats to defy their voters. But is there anyone on the planet who believes hey are really going to defy these guys?

Sixty-two business groups, including the American Gas Association, the Telecommunications Industry Association, and the National Association of Manufacturers, urged congressional leaders on Wednesday to raise the federal debt ceiling amid fears that political brinkmanship could lead to another financial crisis.

Defy their masters? In a word, no.

According to Village rules it's OK for the markets if these ideologues run out the string on the debt limit to the very last minute so they can use it to check off items on their screw-the-people wish list, but if the Democrats just say no and refuse to negotiate for something they know the other side has already agreed to do, it's irresponsible and dangerous. But the least the Democrats could do is get something in return. Are they asking for anything aside from what both sides already intend to do in return for slashing spending on their own constituents? I haven't heard of anything.

Going by precedent, the Democrats will probably cave to the empty bluff. They'll bend over for the Repugs as per usual and, also as per usual, we'll get it dry and hard.

Arizona SWAT Team Shoots Latino Former Marine Dozens of Times

Colorlines

Police authorities in Pima County, Arizona are under fire this week after shooting a former Marine dozens of times during a SWAT team raid. Jose Guerena, a 26-year-old Tucson native, was shot and killed on May 5 during the raid. In total, more than 70 shots were fired, and Guerena was suffered a total of 60 wounds. What’s even worse is that Gerena’s wife spent more than five minutes pleading for help from emergency responders. Police officials still have not released information about why Guerena’s home was targeted.

The Arizona Daily Star reported Saturday that Guerena, 26 was alarmed by his wife at about 9:30 a.m., when he was sleeping after a graveyard shift, that she heard noises outside and a man was at their window. Guerena grabbed a AR-15 rifle and was mortally wounded by authorities.

Vanessa Guerena tearfully told 911 operators that her husband had been shot by a “bunch of people” who came into their home. During the five-minute call, dispatchers worked to determine if she was calling from a residence where the SWAT team was serving a search warrant. Audio records show that Drexel Heights Fire Department dispatched a medical unit at 9:43 a.m., but the Sheriff Department told them to hold off because they might be dealing with a “barricaded subject.”

Let's see: Unknown person at your window, prepare to defend yourself, Latino. Three strikes and you're dead. Must be some new Arizona veteran's outreach program for Marines, who are trained to roll out of bed ready to fight, to break them of the habit.

Arizona, you suck.

Any excuse for a party!

From Montana Cowgirl Blog:



These folks have the best idea yet to honor the religious right:

When this happens, you’ll probably be home protecting your stuff from end of the world looting, but just in case the religious fundamentalists are wrong (which has never, ever happened before), put on your poker face and most bedazzled outfit and get yourself to Missoula’s FUSE at Deano’s Casino on Saturday, May 21, for a drag show to honor Lady Gaga and raise money for Pride Foundation, which works to connect and strengthen Montana’s gay rights movement. Doors opening at 9 p.m. [...]

This assumes, of course, that there is a 9 PM on Saturday. The world's supposed to end at 6. Kind of a time zone-sensitive rolling Armaggedon.

Reminds me of an old joke about Reno NV's Gay Rodeo:

Q: What's the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?

A: At the straight rodeo, they yell "Ride them suckers!"...

(rimshot)

Update:

Doomsday leader says gay pride is ‘proof’ the world will end

If it doesn't, it seems to follow that God must like gays better than fundies. I guess the ever-wrong fundies can go to the party to drown their sorrows. Maybe if they could admit certain things to themselves they could get laid too.

Headline of the Day

When Republicans Call Public Schools "Government-Run Propaganda Camps," All Reason Has Been Abandoned

And yer point is...? Been off-planet for a while, eh?

Neutie's Fast Dive & Sister Souljah Moment

Please pardon me for flogging a dead horse, but the Repug phony presidential three-ring circus is more fun than, and bears an uncanny resemblance to, a barrel of horny retarded monkeys with diarrhea. This is hilarious in case you missed it.

The Daily Show - Fast Dive
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show - Fast Dive - Sister Souljah Moment
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Heh ... 2

Talk about shit details:

The official Twitter account of the U.S. Secret Service posted a tweet on Wednesday afternoon that blasted Fox News.

"Had to monitor Fox for a story. Can't. Deal. With. The. Blathering," the tweet said, before being deleted almost immediately, according to the Huffington Post.

"An employee with access to the Secret Service's Twitter account, who mistakenly believed they were on their personal account, posted an unapproved and inappropriate tweet," Secret Service Spokesman Edwin M. Donovan told CBS News. [my em]

...

I'd rather take needles to my eyeballs. Thing is, now they're gonna be doing an even shittier job, though I'm at a loss to think of what could be worse than having to watch Fox.

Link thanks to They Gave Us A Republic.

Heh ...

Montag.

Give it up, Mitt ...

You ain't got a chance. Don't worry about distancing yourself from your "previous self" as Governor of Massachusetts and the health care system you designed, that the President loves so much. It's the least of your worries. You see, Mr. Aravosis points out that, just like Neutie, another blast from your past will take you down:

...

Don't forget to add gay rights to the mix. Romney ran for Senate against Ted Kennedy in 1994 claiming that he was just as pro-gay as Kennedy. I remember, I helped on the race and was asked to help Kennedy rebut Romney's claim that he was just as liberal Kennedy, in 1994 no less. Romney was an social liberal before it was cool, folks. And now he pretends like he's Mr. Family Values. He's a liar and a fake. It's good to see that at least some people in the GOP are able to smell a fraud.

Obamacare and Queer Love? OMG! He's a damn commie!

See ya, Mittens. Heh ...

Go home, Neut. Go anywhere. Just STFU.

RawReplay, with video.

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich says that anyone that uses direct quotes from his Sunday interview about Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) plan to dismantle Medicare is lying.

“I don’t think right-wing social engineering is any more desirable than left-wing social engineering,” Gingrich had told NBC’s David Gregory Sunday. “I don’t think imposing radical change from the right or the left is a very good way for free society to operate.”
...

“Any ad which quotes what I said Sunday is a falsehood,” he told Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren Tuesday.

Sounds like he's channelling Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, "the lamestream media is twisting my words by quoting them verbatim".

Here's the real beauty: The GOP and the 'baggers are climbing Neutie's frame for inadvertently TELLING THE TRUTH about Ryan's plan to kill Medicare. Anything remotely like the truth goes 180° against everything the Repugs stand for and are running on. Worse, he appears to have let slip that he agrees with the individual mandate for health insurance just like he said in '93. Oh my sides, they hurt...

From El Rude-o:

If turds had legs, they'd be called "Gingriches" because Newt is simply one of the most vile politicians...no, no, one of the most vile Americans of the last half century. He is a bloated reminder of the depravity inflicted on the nation during the Clinton administration. [...]
...

As Gingrich flames out, as anyone who paid attention during the 1990s knew he would, as he makes barely-coded racist statements, as he pisses off members of the cult of Paul Ryan and then offers to blow them, we can all sit back and watch the hubristic Hindenburg burn and say, "Oh, the inhumanity."

When Chucky Krauthammer and Lawrence O'Donnell agree on something, it must be so: Neutie's out. He will never be the GOP candidate, much less POTUS.

Add to that wife#3's revolving bling bill of a $half mil, more than most Americans' net worth, (and her Reverse Donald haircut!) and we're safe from his despicable ass. Another funny part is that Neutie will be the last to know. Heh. Watch this:

Thanks to thinkprogress5.

Hi! In three days you will all be dead

Since it's the last Wednesday ever, it must be Morford.

Good news for you! All worries, over soon. All concerns laid to rest. Everything transformed in a white-hot eyeblink of OMG WTF into a lukewarm puddlepool of odious harp music, angel squeals and tepid moral pudding. I know, right? Finally!

Flashback to the Dark Days of Bush, when the fundamentalists were all giddy from inhaling the toxic fumes of their own homophobic xenophobic bloviation and doom-tracking lists like the Rapture Index were happily sucking at the tit of guys like Ted Haggard; megachurches were all the rage in collective psychosis, and even Bush himself said God told him that launching a few wars and murdering thousands of Islamic innocents was "totally cool" with Him.

Aliens among us, peak oil, 9/11 holograms, a single global currency, lizard overlords from the fifth dimension, Area 51, Osama bin Laden killed and secretly frozen in 2002 and kept in Dick Cheney's freezer and then thawed out 10 years later just so Generation Facebook can gawk at his withered mug and go, "Him? Really? That frail, filthy imp of human pathos is the reason I have to take my goddamn shoes off at the airport and suffer the Tea Party, Alex Jones and Islamophobia?"

Maybe we've been going at it all wrong. Maybe if there's one thing we've should have learned by now about the Rapture, about the end of everything, it's this: It's a slow bitch.

Here's a fun thought: Maybe Armageddon is already happening, piece by piece and storm by storm, but we clever humans are smart/dumb/lucky enough to adapt just enough to stay barely one step ahead, to stretch poor Mother Earth's resources a little further and to whistle past the graveyard one more time to make it home in time for some pizza and porn. Barely.

Go.

No adult supervision ...

Which might be a good thing. As Gordon said below:

I'm just havin' the best time watching the Repugs stompin' all over each other, fallin' in the holes they've dug for themselves and shovelin' the dirt back in on themselves.

While the "candidates" for the Rethug nom are all distancing themselves from themselves, the budget "negotiations" are going on. Thankfully, they can't agree on anything:

Sen. Jon Kyl hinted on FOX News Sunday that the rightward 'Gang of Six' aren't making much progress in their efforts to come up with a deficit-reducing compromise bill that will possibly cut benefits for Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. All I can say is: Hallelujah!

...

Of course, "no tax increases" is the watchword for the Rethugs so let's see what programs they want to cut and still have any chance of getting reelected. I'm just hoping the Dems don't cave too early.

Ode To Joy, Sorta...

I'm just havin' the best time watching the Repugs stompin' all over each other, fallin' in the holes they've dug for themselves and shovelin' the dirt back in on themselves. The only thing better would be if they started pukin' on each other's shirt fronts, oh please dear God! I know it isn't going to last so I'll enjoy the shit out of it while it does.

This song conveys my giddiness. There are dozens of versions of this on YouTube and I looked at a lot of 'em* before I decided the proper spirit of this song should be a family affair. Jim Beam as Cap'n Crunch sauce, so to speak. I've posted the lyrics below. Enjoy.

*Damn dirty job, but someone has to do it.

This is a great old time tune including the lyrics. It's often played as an instrumental; however, the lyrics are quite entertaining.

Thanks to jbredbug.

Early one morning 'fore the sun could shine
I was walkin' dow@ the street, not feelin' so fine
I saw two old men with a bottle between' em
And this is the song that I heard them singin'

cho: Lord protect us, Saints preserve us
We been drinkin' whiskey 'fore breakfast

I passed by the steps where they were a' sittin'
I couldn't believe how drunk they were gettin'
I said "Old men you been drinkn' long?"
"Long enough to be singin' this song"

They handed me a bottle, said, "Take a little sip"
And it felt so good, I just couldn't quit
So I took a little more, next thing I knew
There were three of us sittin' there singin' this tune

One by one everybody in town
Heard our ruckus and they all came down
Pretty soon all the streets were a-ringin'
With the sound of the whole town laughin' and singin'