Republicans

I just finished wasting an hour replying to some Republican propaganda and probably losing Mrs. F a friend in the process. It's a guy she deals with through work who lives out in Ohio and she's friends with this guy's whole family. So he's been sending Republican and Christian bullshit to the house for months. Up until now I've just ignored it and deleted it. But yesterday I had a tough day and he sent a cartoon entitled "Where Religion and Politics Mix". It's got Kerry standing on books that say 'Abortion' and 'Gay Marriage' and Bush standing on a book that says 'Word of God'. Kerry is labled 'Religion' and Bush is labeled 'Christianity'.

Like I said, yesterday is was a tough day. So I replied. Didn't say anything but forwarded that 'A day in the life of Joe Republican' thing. You know, all the things you can thank liberals for.

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

[. . .]

I figured, hey, have one of mine for once. I didn't think anything of it anymore. Went to work today and when I came home, there's a reply to mine. This guy took each point and rebutted them. He actually took the time to dissect a junk email. Blew my fucking mind. Needless to say, I took offense. I re-rebutted. A sample. Original in bold, his in normal, mine in italic:

[. . .]

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

If they are contributing so much, then why are they still taking so much from my check to pay for all the freebie seeking liberals and the afirmative action Democrats in Congress. Atta boy

As opposed to that tax cut? Gee, thanks for the $300. That'll make up for the 40% increase in my property taxes because the President wants 'No Child Left Behind' but refuses to fund it. Oh, I'm sorry, was that a big government program? Oh, and did I forget, George Bush increased the size of the federal government 10% over Bill Clinton? Yup, gotta watch them tax and spend liberals and their programs.

[. . .]

And it went on through about 10 or 11 points. Incredible. Thing is, this last one pissed me off:

[. . .]

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

The truth is the conservative is working hard to pay all of the things listed above and because we believe everyone that works hard should be allowed to say what happens to the money we make, the liberals say they should be getting the same amount as me even though I don't want their money, they just want mine. I'll take care of my family, you take care of yours. I won't tell you what you can spend and you don't tell me. the problem is, you can't do for yourself and I can. If you can, then why do you have to have the government do it all for you. Atta boy.

Yup, 'cause I'm a liberal, I don't work hard, can't do for myself, and I'm knocking on your door with my hand out. Hope you don't come to me if you have some catastrophic illness and your savings is wiped out and you're evicted from your home because you can't pay your rent. I'll just tell you that you should have saved more and to get off my land or I'll put a load of buckshot in your ass. You forgot to say that liberals like me want to take away your guns too. Yeah right. This liberal is a marksman.

[. . .]

Lastly, never forget. If you want to live like a Republican, vote for a Democrat. Please, don't send me any more of your politcal crap, I didn't ask for it and I don't tell you how to vote or how to worship. While my wife doesn't take offense, I do. I don't need to be insulted.

I have to show it to the Mrs. and prepare her for my mouth (or words) losing her a friend. At least is wasn't her job (did that once). I'll let you know if I'm scratchin' fleas in the morning.

Update: 16:45:

Thinking about it now, I should have used better judgment and deleted it without replying, but I'm fucking tired of the Repubs and trying to shove their faith-based world down my throat. I'd love to shove my Godless, baby-killing, Commie-pinko, gay-loving, Liberal foot up his ass.