Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Little Red Piggies At The Trough

From today's Daily Howler. This'll piss ya off:
CONTEMPTUOUS VALUES: Many readers—many readers—sent us the Tax Foundation tables which show which states are federal free-loaders (Go read these - G.). And yes, the “red states”—the states whose denizens love to preach that bracing self-reliance—routinely take in more federal money than they submit in taxes. Meanwhile, who subsidizes these free-loading states? Who else? “Contemptuous” “elitists” from northeastern blue states, whose troubling values red-staters love to ponder! In 2003, for example, red-state New Jersey received only 57 cents in federal spending for every dollar submitted in taxes. But then, the top ten states whose pockets are picked include eight which are nominally blue:
1) New Jersey: 57 cents
2) New Hampshire: 64 cents
3) Connecticut: 65 cents
4) Minnesota: 70 cents
5) Nevada: 70 cents
6) Illinois: 73 cents
7) California: 78 cents
8) Massachusetts: 78 cents
9) New York: 80 cents
10) Colorado: 80 cents

And from yesterday's Daily Howler:
THE FAILING FIFTEEN: Here are the fifteen least healthy states. We rank them from 36th most healthy down to number 50. Alas! All fifteen of the states are “red.” But then, so is number 35—Texas:

36. Missouri
37. Nevada
38. New Mexico
39. Kentucky
40. Oklahoma
41. North Carolina
42. Florida
43. Alabama
44. West Virginia
45. Georgia
46. Arkansas
47. South Carolina
48. Tennessee
49. Mississippi
50. Louisiana

As a matter of fact, eleven of the top 15 states are “blue”—and all 15 at the bottom are “red!” And the criteria used in this study actually seem to favor “red” states. After all, if “snake bites during religious services” had been one of the study’s criteria, the rankings would probably be less red-friendly than they already are.
Uh-oh! Blubbering “red-staters” will keen and wail about the slur against their religion! But maybe if they spent more time building healthy societies, they’d find themselves with less time on their hands to collect and nurture treasured grievances against those “contemptuous” “blue-state” “elitists.” You know—against the troubling “blue state elites” which help pay red-staters’ way through life? We can’t remember where we saw it, but we recently saw the figures which show the way the federal government transfers money from the industrious “blue states” to the blubbering “red.” Can someone remind us where we saw these data? They appeared in some mainstream publication last week, and we think they deserve some mention when boo-hooing people like Alterman’s e-mailer complain of those harsh, cruel “elites.”

On the other hand, maybe red-staters would have more time to build healthy societies for their children if they weren’t so busy divorcing each other. Despite the impressive “moral values” they love to vote on, red states lead the nation in divorce—and elite Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate! Yes indeed, there they are—drinkin’, divorcin’ and boo-hoo-hooing about their lack of respect from the values-free blue! Not that this keeps these troubled “red-staters” from holding their hands out every year for their annual federal pay-out—money from their more industrious blue state neighbors, the ones whose “elitism” they love to attack.

Maybe we're on to something here. On the other hand, maybe Bush is on to something, too. You deep thinkers out there start figuring out how to get our own money back, dollar-for-dollar, and start making those 'tax-plus recipients' earn their own living like the rest of us do. I'm sure they'd rather not bite the hand that feeds them, but maybe we can bite it off for them.

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