Attention Citizens Living in God's Country Without His Permission! An invitation to become a Real American™
That's why today, non-Christian quasi-American friend, it's time to get on board 100% with the winning team! Don't risk ending up in Hell and spending a lifetime doggy paddling in the lake of boiling lava while that bloated ignoramus Michael Moore bobs like a pork crackling buoy of singed, bubbling blubber beside you, spitting out his blasphemous research for all of eternity! It's a horrifying thought, but it just a preview of the frightening, sadistic horrors the Lord Jesus has in mind for you if you don't start showering Him with fawning, effusive flattery before He gets around to smiting you and flinging you into Hell.
Ex Injun to Deliver Thanksgiving Sermon
Freehold, Iowa - "I call him, Chief Running Red Butt, in jest," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Because I remember when we rescued him from his heathen parents' reservation split-level out in the woods, Pastor Hardwick unloaded a round of buckshot into his naked red hiney. Well, he's come a long way since then, when he was about 6-years old, just barely out of the papoose. He had trouble walking because, and a lot of folks don't know this, but when Injun babies take their first steps, it is to hop around a fire. I'm told most Injuns don't walk on both feet until they first get drunk and lose their balance, which is usually around eight or nine."
That shit cracks me up and I hope it does the same for you.
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