We take you now to the Oval Office:
Laura: Sit down Dubya, you have to learn this.
W: But why? (whining) Can't Dick do this? He's better at big words than I am.
Laura: No, you're the President and you have to tell people why things are not going well in Iraq, and with the economy, and with your polling, and with . . .
W: They are? Uncle Karl says things are going just the way I say they are.
Laura: That's part of it, Dubya. It's this psychology thing I told you about.
W: Psy . . what?
Laura: Psychology, say it with me. Sy-kol-ogee.
W: I'm still trying to get the hang of nu-cu-ler.
Laura: I know, we'll work on that again later. Right now, you have to say that John Kerry is using reverse psychology.
W: Reverse? I haven't even figured out forward psy . . . whatever it is.
Laura: (Sighs) I'll make it easy for you. Remember back in '99? When we had you tell everyone that the Clinton Economy was going bust and people believed it?
W: Yeah. (Chuckles) We had them snowed.
Laura: Well, we're going to accuse Kerry of doing the same thing. We're going to say that Kerry is talking the economy down, that he's pessimistic and that's unpatriotic.
W: That's right. (nods like a bobblehead doll) Dick said that anyone who disagrees with me is un-American.
Laura: Good, good. So try this with me. Kerry's pessimism about the state of the nation is unpatriotic and is a psychological attack on American Values.
W: Kerry's psycho and playing possum.
Laura: Close enough. (Stands as Karl Rove enters the room)
Rove: How's our boy doing? (He asks Laura)
Laura: As well as can be expected.
Rove: That bad?
Laura: He'll get it.
W: Yeah, Uncle Karl, I'll get it.
Rove: That's my boy. (Pats Dubya on the head)
Laura: (Moves closer to Rove and whispers.) Meet you in the Lincoln Room later?
Rove: Of course. (He whispers back) Will you do the thing with your mouth again? (Laura just smiles at him)
W: What did he say?
Rove: I said you remind me of Lincoln.
W: Yes, I do, don't I.
November can't come soon enough.