Sunday, November 6, 2005

Avast Matey, my ass! Joke's on you, fool!

I heard about the pirates goin' after a cruise ship in the IO off Somalia. I think it's kinda funny, as nobody got hurt. Firing RPGs at a ship that big is about like firing a BB gun at a Hummer. What were those fools thinking? That a huge ship was gonna heave to and give up a world of riches?

That area, from Africa all the way to Indonesia and beyond, is famous for pirate activity. The Seabourn Cruise Line representative says they "have adequate equipment to repel boarders". I hope it's more than cutlasses and belaying pins.

Here's my foolproof plan to put a screechin' halt to this shit: During WWs I & II, the Germans had 'Q' ships that looked like merchantmen, but when they got pulled over by a sub or light patrol craft, the sides dropped away and there was a world of Kriegsmarine firepower ready to rock n' roll on 'em.

A cruise ship wouldn't need 5-inch guns, and it wouldn't take up much space. A naval architect could work out the details and someone could train the gunners, etc. I think one or two cabins on either side would do the trick: when confronted by evildoers, the side of the cabin would hinge down to expose, oh, I don't know, a Quad .50 or a 25mm Bushmaster or 30mm Chain Gun or something similar. Maybe a Harpoon ASM for bigger vessels. I think that would get the message across even to khat-inspired miscreants in their last moments.

Heck, they could sell "pirate cruises" where they go out lookin' for 'em. For a little extra, you get to pull the trigger on 'em yourself! I'd go.

Now, if they had one of those cruises up the Potomac....

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