Thursday, October 9, 2008

Little dicks ...

The Rethugs haz them:

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It's possible that Republican men, sexual inadequates that they are, really believe that women will vote for a woman just because she's a woman. They're unfamiliar with our true natures. Do they think vaginas call out to each other in the jungle night? I mean, I know men have their secret meetings at which they pledge to do manly things, like being irresponsible with their semen and postponing household repairs with glue and used matches. Guys will be guys, obviously.

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Above link via the General:

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It simply isn't true. We're just more efficient. We can't waste time on things like foreplay; we have important things to do like watching NASCAR and spying on our neighbors. So we get undressed, visualize a naked woman, a rifle,a goat, or something, and go to town for about 10 to 15 seconds. Then, we're done. Those of us who are multi-taskers might also spy on our neighbors and watch NASCAR while we're doing it, thus increasing our efficiency even more.

Of course, some of my fellow conservatives are not so sexually proficient. But it's still wrong to say they are inadequate. They're just ignorant. No one has ever sat them down to have "the air pressure talk." It's a difficult concept to master, air pressure. Anything under 10 psi causes your partner to become gelatin-like making it easy to fall off, mid-stroke. That distracts you from thinking about rifles.

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Heh ... Okay, so maybe satire ain't dead.

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