"Some F-22s'll send them pirates skedaddlin', you betcha!"

I posted the other day about SecDef Gates' decision to cut some useless pork outta the military budget.

But wait! When ya shake a tree, out come the squirrels...

Think Progress, with links and video:

Last year, the New York Times revealed that numerous cable news “military analysts” never disclosed their ties to military contractors. Yesterday, Lt. Gen. Tom McInerney appeared on Fox News to discuss the Somali pirates situation, and managed to use it as an opportunity to shill for the F-22:

McINERNEY: I’d put F-22s and combat air patrol out there, two of them, with tankers. … The reason I’d put the F-22s is because they can go 1.6 to mach 2, and they have a very quick reaction time and a 20 millimeter canon.

“It doesn’t take an Air Force general to see how bizarre McInerney’s military reasoning is,” [...]

(207 comments so far. Heh.)

There's video, but if ya wanta watch a useless old fart prattle nonsense, just come on over for coffee. It'll be more fun. Or just read on...

I think perhaps a coupla googolzillion bucks worth of strike fighters, air tankers, airfields and support personnel to try and catch an outboard-powered fishing boat at 1000 miles an hour maybe, just maybe, might not be the most efficient way to help with the piracy problem. Might save the old coot's job, but he shoulda been saving his money in case sanity ever struck DoD, and struck it has. Except him.

So what, you may well ask, is your solution to the greatest danger to maritime commerce in three generations?

Maritime commerce has been in danger before. Here's my cost effective low-tech answer:

Click to embiggen.

The artwork shows a Stringbag bearing down on a famous high-seas raider of yore. Got the sonofabitch too!

These old planes did pretty good at Taranto, Italy as well, and since Somalia used to be called Italian Somaliland, I'm sure there's some museum display somewhere that's itchin' fer a repeat against them Eyetie wogs!

We could probably build hundreds of these things from scratch for the price of an F-22, and the old general could keep his job. Win-win!

All we need is goggles and scarves. Fixer can drive, I'll drop the fish and fire the Lewis gun, and we can discuss who gets to crawl out and handle little in-flight repair jobs should the unlikely (cough) need arise.

I'm rarin' ta go! What could possibly go wrong?

Update:

I couldn't resist. When yer retired, screwin' around becomes an art form! Thanks for the canvas, Fixer.