Hotlanta Journal-Constitution
WASHINGTON -- Is the island of Guam in danger of tipping over and capsizing?
U.S. Rep. Hank Johnson recently worried that it might be, according to a videotaped congressional hearing that is getting plenty of play online and over the airwaves.
Johnson's comments came during a House Armed Services Committee meeting as he questioned Adm. Robert Willard, commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, about the impact of U.S. troops on the little island.
"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," Johnson said, straight-faced and seemingly serious.
The admiral seemed to take the question seriously, too. "We don't anticipate that," [...]
Well played, Admiral! Gotta have a straight man!
One would think a congressman, especially a Democratic one, would know that an island is the top of a mountain and not a goddam canoe!
It gets funnier. Or just worse.
The derision online quickly gained momentum Thursday.
A note from a reader to a blog at National Review Online said, "My son is stationed on Guam. I just sent him the video and told him to run to the other side of the island. He said one of his shipmates showed up to work with a life vest on!"
On YouTube, about 75,000 visitors had viewed the video exchange through Thursday afternoon.
"Please Georgia, you gave us Cynthia McKinney, now Hank Johnson?" one commenter wrote.
Johnson issued a written statement Thursday as the mockery mounted.
You bet he did. You can hear it spinning like a top. Heh.
"I wasn't suggesting that the island of Guam would literally tip over," he said. . Johnson said he was "using a metaphor" to describe how adding more military personnel to the tiny island "could be a tipping point which could adversely affect the island’s fragile ecosystem and could overburden its stressed infrastructure."
Using a metaphor. Uh-huh, suuuure he was. Close, but no cigar, pal.
Perhaps Rep. Johnson's next career will be as a Somalian pirate...
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