Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Bush Team Unaware of Transoceanic Transportation Prior to September 11

Dissident Voice

We’ve had nothing but trouble since those damn Neanderthals invented the floating log

We've had nothing but trouble since the neocons put that damn Neanderthal in the White House too. My apologies to Neanderthals.

Almost nine years after the terrible September 11 tragedy, linguists have pieced together subtle clues that could explain why the Commander-in-Chief opted not to harden U.S. defenses when faced with warnings of an imminent terrorist attack.

Their conclusion: before 9/11, the President, Vice President, National Security Advisor, and others in the White House were under the impression that the oceans — yes, the oceans — primarily the Atlantic and Pacific, but perhaps also the Arctic, would protect the United States from harm. It is not known if the group believed the Gulf of Mexico (in its pre-flammable state) or the Great Lakes had any defensive properties.

Former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, refused to personally comment about the ocean theory, but an aide said, “Mr. Rumsfeld has made clear his responsibility regarding 9/11 very clear — he had none — now get the hell off his geraniums.”

Indeed he did. In 2001, Rumsfeld said; “Under our Constitution, under our laws, the United States military’s task is to defend against foreign invasion and foreign threats. The threat we saw recently was from a person in our country in one of our airplanes filled with our citizens. This is a law enforcement job. It is a job for the FBI. It is a job for the police.”

Some of the clues:

Oceans No Longer Keep U.S. Secure
It turns out they are only made up of water — hellava vivid lesson, though!

President: Attack on American Soil Unimaginable Prior to 9/11
TWO oceans! That should be enough, shouldn’t it?

More BS Bush and his minions actually said in ignorance of the fact that one of the first times the oceans failed to 'keep us safe', leaving out that a coupla British fleets sailed here in the 18th and 19th centuries and minorly fucked us up, was in a little-remembered incident called World War Two when German U-boats sank ships in sight of our shores and landed agents on the East Coast, while a Japanese submarine shelled an oil refinery in California and others launched air and fire-bombing attacks in the Northwest. Nothing like what we did to both those parties, of course. Their oceans didn't keep them very safe either.

Then there was that whole deal about airplanes, and later missiles, flying across our protective oceans and turning us into radioactive rubble. What was that called? Oh yeah - the Cold War. Can't blame the Busheviks for forgetting that one - it only lasted about fifty years and was over by the time they assumed (carefully chosen word) office.

The hell we can't.

No comments: