Jokes

Mrs. G's sister sent her some jokes for her birthday. Here's couple of 'em.

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
...

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one..'

He's still in intensive care.
...

Ooh, bad move, dude. Musta lost his mind to strong drink. Intensive care is as good a place as any to sober up and reflect on errors of judgment.

I like this one:

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there'.

Heh.