Texas Dildos

Yes, I know the title is redundant. Friday Morford channels Molly Ivins on the Texas lege on his way to discussing the equally, if not more so, moronic Oklahoma one. Not to be missed!

There's a touching scene in "The Dildo Diaries," a sweet 'n' slippery little documentary released way back in 2002, in the very beginnings of the Dark Days of Bush, in which we as viewers are privy to a truly hellish hallucination, a series of images that, should you ever choose to bear witness, will haunt you for the rest of your days.
...

We are shown, via actual footage, a typical workday inside the Texas state legislature.

The scene in question focuses on a very weird, amusing little debate on the House floor. The combatants are trying to decide, awkwardly, laughably, horrifyingly, the issue of whether heterosexual sodomy -- good ol' anal sex -- should be banned outright, right along with then-illegal homosexual sodomy, which in turn was a fine adjunct to the state's classic chestnut-of-a-law declaring that it was completely illegal to be gay in Texas.

This ol' backwoods bozo kinda gets from this that it's OK to stick yer dick in a woodchipper in Texas as long as it's not in the exhaust pipe. It figures that this would be a big topic in a state with 'ass' in its name.

Mr. Morford's larger point is about the damage just inflicted on women's rights in Oklahoma, and you should go read, but I'll stick with Molly. Miss ya, hon.

Caution: Unless you are at work and just wiped up an oil leak and immediately used the same shop towel as a snot rag, this is not work safe. Then again, you know your co-workers better than I do. Hell, call 'em all over to watch.

Also, the following video has been known to make strong men blush, like about two minutes ago, and the fellow to whom I refer had a prostate exam yesterday and thus is somewhat current on this subject, though not in any fun way. (I'm fine, thanks, but I wish they'da taken the climbing spikes off the telephone pole first! The doc's shit-eatin' grin was a tipoff, but it was too late...).

Memorable line: "I would suggest you see a doctor about his aim". Trust me...and check out the chachabingoes on the redhead toward the end. Makes me hungry like a baby!

Thanks to DildoGranny. I kid you not.

Damn, I forgot ta give ya a 'liquid alert'. Joke's on you! Heh.